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On April
10, Cincinnati Reds relief pitcher Joe Valentine told a New
York newspaper that he was raised by two moms. The world
yawned. And that is ultimately a good thing.
 Valentine,
from Long Island, N.Y., was the subject of a
lengthy article in Newsday about being raised by two
lesbians, Deb Valentine (his biological mom) and Doreen
Price. Joe never knew his dad and he has grown up a
supportive son who loves the two women who raised him.
"It's no
different than having a mother and father," Valentine, 25,
said. "These are the two women who raised me, and they are
wonderful people. It's just not a big deal to me. Why should
it be?"
It
shouldn’t be a big deal, and for Valentine it hasn’t been.
Since the story appeared, there have been scattered
references in other media, but Valentine’s unique upbringing
has been met with a shrug and an assumed acceptance.
"I haven't
heard much," Valentine told the
Florida Sun-Sentinel three weeks after the Newsday
article appeared. "I thought it was going to be a little bit
bigger deal, but I wasn't doing it because I wanted it to be
a big deal. It was something I tried to do for my parents
and for the gay community. They're a huge part of the
population."
“I've
gotten good feedback [from teammates]," Valentine added. "A
lot of guys noticed and read it. They said, `That's pretty
cool. That's a pretty awesome thing.' That's really it." (On
May 6, Valentine was sent down to the minor leagues).
The lack of
publicity is pretty remarkable given the still unsettled
relationship between sports and homosexuality. Valentine was
very aware of this when he told Newsday: "I'm a blue-state
guy in a red-state sport. But that won't stop me from being
proud of who I am."
The Newsday
writer, Jeff Pearlman, found some obstacles even trying to
ask major leaguers about the subject of homosexuality and
sports. "I've got nothing against those people," Washington
Nationals relief pitcher T.J. Tucker said. "But I don't get
why anyone would want to be like that."
Moments after Tucker's comment, Pearlman wrote, a Nationals
front office employee approached him and asked him not to
bring the subject of homosexuality into the clubhouse.
"Makes the players uncomfortable," the employee said.
There has
never been a baseball player (or pro football, basketball or
hockey player for that matter) who has come out as gay while
playing. And there is no doubt that when this happens, it
will be a big story. Valentine is married, so it’s not as if
he’s that different in his day-to-day life than most of his
teammates. And we know that at least one of his teammates,
Ken Griffey Jr., told Sports Illustrated, it "wouldn't
bother me at all [to have a gay teammate]. If you can play,
you can play."
The Newsday
article is a terrific account of how normal Valentine saw
his upbringing. His house was the place where his high
school teammates hung out, and even a move to play ball in
rural Alabama turned out well. Said Keith Griffin, his coach
in Alabama: "If you're a good boy, I don't care if you're
from Mars. And Joe was as good a boy as I've ever had
around. He's hard-working, he's very competitive and he's
got a big heart. I'll tell you, very few seemed to care that
his parents were gay. They were wonderful people. And
Joe--he's a man's man."
Valentine
is to be admired for sharing his story. He talked to Newsday
to honor his moms, saying, "I just wanted to give them some
sort of recognition for this." And he won’t shy away from
trying to make a difference. He told the Sun-Sentinel that
he would love to help create acceptance of gays in sports.
"I would
definitely embrace it," he said. "I'm not looking for it,
but if somebody would come to me in that situation where
they would like me to help out any which way, I would
definitely do it. At least people know there are different
ways to be raised."
And as he
told Newsday: "I'm a baseball player who was raised by two
wonderful, loving mothers. How can anyone criticize that?"
What a nice
sentiment this week of Mother’s Day.
May 3, 2005 |
