Locked in silence
Some gay athletes at UCLA feel
isolated from teammates and coaches on and off the field
Reprinted with permission from the
Daily Bruin, the student newspaper at UCLA
Related:
Gay jocks bond
By
Adam de Jong
DAILY BRUIN CONTRIBUTOR
Each
day, gay and lesbian students on campus contemplate coming
out. It shouldn't be a surprise that some are varsity
athletes. Yet this group of individuals faces a unique set
of pressures.
Even at UCLA, which prides itself on being one of the most
diverse and tolerant institutions in the country, there are
gay and lesbian student-athletes who are scared of the
consequences of revealing their sexual orientation.
Several said they are fearful they would be the victims of
verbal and physical abuse if they came out to their
teammates and coaches, and one alleged that his coach has
threatened to dismiss any openly gay athlete from his team.
"My coach has made homophobic remarks," said a gay varsity
male athlete at UCLA, who spoke on condition of anonymity.
"He said that if there were any faggots on the team he would
kick them off. I know he can't really kick anyone off the
team for their sexual orientation, but I definitely feel
like I would be pressured to leave."
Of the roughly 600 student-athletes at UCLA, most have never
witnessed incidents of homophobia involving their teammates
or coaches. But the fact that even a few gay and lesbian
Bruin athletes experience anti-gay sentiment within their
respective teams is troubling to Associate Athletic Director
Petrina Long, who oversees life skills and spoke on behalf
of the athletic department.
"I am very surprised," Long said. "Any professional staff
should not be saying anything like this. You're taking one
person, but that doesn't make the inappropriate comments
excusable."
While UCLA does not have a specific policy to protect its
gay and lesbian athletes from homophobia, it instead groups
sexual-orientation issues under a broader category of
discrimination that includes race, age and gender. By
adopting such a general approach, the athletic department
entrusts each of its coaches with the responsibility of
handling this delicate issue on a case-by-case basis.
Even if a coach promotes an
accepting environment, there is no guarantee that gay or
lesbian athletes will feel comfortable revealing their
sexuality. Recent studies suggest that 10 percent of the
population is gay, yet no male professional athlete in any
of the four major sports is openly gay, and no male UCLA
varsity athlete interviewed for this article is either.
The result is a group of athletes who feel forced to hide a
portion of their identities.
"It's awful I have to compromise myself to play a sport,"
the anonymous UCLA athlete said. "There's no good way to
come out of the closet. There's just bad or worse."
Is it Harder for Athletes?
College is the time when most students celebrate their
individuality. For gay and lesbian athletes, however, it's
often the reverse.
One male UCLA varsity athlete, who also wished to remain
anonymous, is open with his family and friends back home,
but said that he has remained in the closet with his Bruin
teammates and coaches. Though he is tempted to divulge his
secret, the fear that his teammates might ostracize him or
even harm him physically has kept him silent.
"I could never tell my coaches or teammates, the people who
I spend more time with than anybody else," he said. "If I
came out, it would affect my play on the team because
everyone else would be thinking about it, and I would be
worried that they were thinking about it."
Experts said that the UCLA athlete's predicament is not at
all uncommon.
"On campus we see many homosexual students that are out at
UCLA, but in the closet at home with their family," said
Ronni Sanlo, director of the UCLA Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and
Transgender Resource Center. "With athletes, it tends to be
the other way around. Their family knows about their
sexuality, but they will keep it a secret from their coaches
and teammates."
The two anonymous UCLA male athletes have numerous reasons
why they are afraid to come out to their teammates, but both
said their fears have been heightened by a slew of
homophobic remarks made at practice by coaches and
teammates.
Neither is willing to discourage such comments for fear that
a response will raise suspicion that they are gay.
"Not every player or coach is homophobic, but they make
these jokes or asinine comments as if they don't mean
anything," said the gay male athlete who alleged his coach
threatened to dismiss all gays from his team. "I cannot tell
them how obnoxious they are because they would know I'm gay,
and that would be a terrible way to come out."
"The reason players or coaches make the homophobic remarks
is because they don't even think anyone on the team could be
gay," said the second gay male athlete quoted in this
article.
Such quips, University of Colorado at Colorado Springs
sociology Professor Jay Coakley said, are a product of male
athletes reaffirming their masculinity.
Because of the dynamic of male sports, many athletes link
sexual orientation to performance, so being gay is
considered a detriment.
"If someone came out, people would associate a stigma with
him," a straight male varsity athlete at UCLA said. "All of
a sudden they wouldn't be this tough, hard-nosed player, but
this weak feminine athlete.
"It's unfortunate that's the case, but there's not a lot of
room for homosexuality or femininity (in male sports)."
While much of society has made great strides over the past
two decades to outlaw anti-gay behavior, many experts, such
as UCLA LGBT Center official Steven Leider, agree that
sports remains one of the last bastions of homophobia. They
point to the frequent use of slurs and lack of openly gay
major athletes as proof that sports have not made the same
sort of progress as other facets of society.
But Long, who came to Westwood nine months ago from UC
Irvine, where she worked for current UCLA Athletic Director
Dan Guerrero, disagrees, characterizing the notion that
sports are worse than any other groups as a myth.
"I don't think athletics is necessarily that separate from
what you see in society," she said. "I think athletics is
probably a microcosm of what you see elsewhere. Sports has
made a lot of progress."
This is not a sentiment shared by the gay athletes
interviewed for this article.
Not only do they say they're afraid in the huddle, on the
court or in the locker room, but because they are among the
most recognizable people on campus, they tend to keep a part
of themselves hidden even in social settings.
"Being a gay athlete limits me socially because I cannot
date or even socialize with other gay men without being
outed," said the second gay male athlete quoted in this
article. "While other students are meeting people at a party
or just relaxing with friends, I have to constantly worry
about what people think. Sometimes I wish that someone on my
team would just find out that I (am) gay so I wouldn't have
to worry about it anymore."
UCLA Against the Rest
Homophobia, by no means, is unique to UCLA.
In fact, even the Bruin athletes who have been the victims
of alleged discrimination suggested that the climate for gay
and lesbian student-athletes is far better in Westwood than
it is at most other institutions.
"The reality is that while homophobia exists on my team, it
is not nearly as bad at UCLA as it is other places," said
the gay male student-athlete who alleged that his coach
threatened to dismiss all gays from the team.
"All you have to do is look at Bruin Walk to realize how
ridiculously (politically correct) the school is. If there's
homophobia here, it must be much worse in other parts of the
country."
The examples of homophobic incidents at other institutions
are numerous.
The University of Hawai'i changed the name and logo of its
football team from the Rainbow Warriors to the Warriors in
2000 because of the association with the gay rainbow flag.
The USC marching band reportedly taunted UCLA by playing the
notes F, A and G in successive order at football games as
recently as 2000.
And North Carolina State had to apologize in February 2004
after men's basketball player Scooter Sherrill noted that
Duke's JJ Redick holds his hand up on the follow-through of
his shot "like he's gay or something."
Perhaps the most egregious recent homophobic incident in
college sports occurred at the University of Florida in
2003, where former softball player Andrea Zimbardi was
allegedly dropped from the team in her senior season because
she is a lesbian.
The school settled the case in court with Zimbardi, agreeing
to include a sexual-orientation component in its
non-discrimination policy and provide diversity training
dealing with homophobia to all its coaches and
administrators.
UCLA, like most other schools that have not experienced such
a public crisis, does not have as strong a policy in place.
The athletic department has no formal guidelines for dealing
with homophobia, Long said, besides a clause in its code of
conduct for coaches, which states that "they are expected to
avoid any exploitation, harassment or discriminatory
treatment of student-athletes."
If student-athletes have a problem related to their sexual
preference, Long said, they know they can consult coaches,
counselors or even administrators. But no aspect of the
athletic department manual specifically mentions how coaches
or administrators should handle issues of sexual
orientation, although Long said those problems would be
classified under sexual harassment.
Such a broad policy has left some athletes at UCLA unsure of
whom to turn to when they encounter homophobia.
"If I were a lesbian," said a straight female athlete at
UCLA who wished to remain anonymous, "I wouldn't know where
to turn to within the athletic department for help."
The consensus among the Bruin athletes interviewed, however,
is that the climate at UCLA for gay and lesbian athletes is
better than at most schools.
"Every girl that I know (who's) a lesbian out on a team (at
UCLA) has had no issues," the straight female athlete said.
"I have a friend who came out after college. She said it had
nothing to do with the environment. The first people she
told were her teammates, and her friendships with the team
have not changed at all."
The Role of a Coach
As
Pat Griffin, an openly lesbian professor of social
justice education at the University of Massachusetts, sat in
a booth to promote tolerance at the NCAA Women's Final Four
just last week, she witnessed a strange phenomenon from the
coaches in attendance.
While some coaches had no trepidation of talking to Griffin,
others did all they could to stay away from her.
"Some coaches got whiplash just looking away from the
booth," Griffin said. "That's a sign of backing down. Plenty
are still not comfortable with being associated with
lesbians or thinking they might be lesbians."
As the bridge between the student-athletes and the athletic
department, coaches are responsible for creating a positive
atmosphere to govern their teams that is reflective of their
school's code of conduct.
But according to Coakley, coaches and the environment they
foster are the lifeline of a gay or lesbian athlete's
support system, tipping the balance for whether an athlete
would feel comfortable coming out of the closet.
"What encourages an athlete to come out is tied to what the
athlete perceives the coach's position to be," Coakley said.
"That's crucial. It also helps if there's some sort of
institutional structure that provides support and
legitimacy."
Six years ago, UCLA women's basketball coach Kathy Olivier
was confronted by some of her players about a burgeoning
issue regarding a teammate's sexuality. Olivier's players
were not concerned that a fellow teammate was lesbian, but
the perception that the particular individual was being
isolated from the team because of the brooding silence. To
combat the issue, Olivier held a team meeting in which she
brought the topic of diversity out into the open.
"We talked about dealing with diversity in a lot of ways,
not just race," Olivier said. "Every coach has their own way
of dealing with it differently."
UCLA men's and women's water polo coach Adam Krikorian does
not even see a student-athlete's sexual orientation as an
issue that he needs to delve into, choosing instead to look
at his players solely in terms of their athletic ability.
"I don't make judgments like that, I just look at someone's
water polo ability," Krikorian said. "I don't think (sexual
orientation) is this big hidden issue. There are so many
different characteristics with so many different players and
athletes. It could be their homosexuality, their home life;
they could have personal issues, drug or alcohol abuse."
Yet there are far more athletes who publicly admit to
alcohol or drug abuse problems than homosexuality. That,
Coakley said, is a product of coaches not doing enough to
combat the perception that homophobia exists within their
programs.
Team vs. Individual Sports
Because of the different dynamics involved, the nature of a
sport can affect athletes in their decision to reveal their
sexual identity. The need to form a cohesive unit in team
sports has led athletes to keep hidden what they might
otherwise disclose in individual sports.
"If I were to tell my team that I (am) gay, I am confident
that I would regret it for the rest of my time spent in
college," said one of the gay male student-athletes, who is
open about his sexuality with his family and others.
"There's something about a team sport that makes it
impossible to be openly gay."
Uncomfortable with the reaction their homosexuality might
yield from teammates or coaches, these gay athletes have
opted to stay in the closet. Rather than run the risk of
getting stereotyped or verbally assaulted, they have looked
to blend in with the societal expectations of a male sports
figure.
"Because of stupid, homophobic remarks by teammates, I am
scared to tell anyone here at UCLA that I am gay," the gay
male student-athlete said. "I think I might be physically
harmed or just roughhoused on the field."
Conversely, gay athletes in individual sports generally need
not worry about abuse from teammates.
David Kopay, who became the first professional
football player to come out in 1975 after playing 10 seasons
in the NFL, feels that athletes in individual sports are
more sheltered from any potential criticism.
"The individual can compete and train on his or her own and
nobody can really blame their sexuality on the results,"
Kopay said. "On team sports, there's a heightened homophobia
because of all the time spent together and physical
contact."
This homophobia in the team atmosphere was a major reason
why Kopay waited until retirement to come out about his
sexual identity. Playing during a period in which anti-gay
sentiment was commonplace and societal expectations of male
athletes were firmly entrenched, the running back was too
scared to come to terms with his sexuality during his
athletic career.
"The problem was that I bought into other people's
stereotypes," said Kopay, who was passed over for coaching
positions later in life because of his "lifestyle."
"People involved in sports tend not to be as sophisticated
and don't want to create any distractions. The players,
especially, are treated as nameless, faceless soldiers who
are supposed to win. Viewing them as human or different than
the rest will not sit well with coaches, owners or fans,"
Kopay said.
While the relationship with fans or opponents is universal
to all sports, only team sports involve tight-knit
relationships between teammates. Kopay believes when
learning of a team member's homosexuality, straight players
may feel threatened and begin to question their sexuality.
"They'll ask themselves, 'Well, he isn't a sissy. If he is
gay, what does that make me?'" Kopay said.
"Of course, that is ridiculous at the surface level, but
many of these unspoken fears in the sports world become much
more exaggerated on a team sport."
Not an Exclusive Club
While most athletes are not open with their homosexuality at
the varsity level, those who participate at the club or
recreational level appear more willing to come out.
But that does not necessarily mean they have always been
welcomed with open arms. UCLA graduate Jason Seagle
remembers that when he was part of an intramural football
league three years ago, some of his teammates were not
comfortable with playing on an IM team with a "gay guy."
Upon hearing that a few of them were going to quit the team
because of his sexuality, Seagle quit.
"I decided that I would just stop playing on the team rather
than break it up because I was kind of embarrassed and
disgusted by what happened," Seagle said.
"I just thought it was ridiculous that even on an IM
football team it was controversial."
Given his experiences in a very casual intramural setting,
Seagle said he is not shocked that a few UCLA
student-athletes have been subjected to homophobic remarks.
"If it was like that on an IM team, just imagine how bad it
must be for a gay person on a major college sports team,"
Seagle said. "What's sad is that UCLA might be the most PC
place in the country. It has to be worse at other places for
athletes."
For most club and IM athletes, sexuality does not appear as
hushed a topic as it is at the varsity level. An anonymous
lesbian on a women's club sport, who has not revealed her
sexual preference to her team, feels she would not be
shunned if she did, but nevertheless prefers to keep her
sexuality private.
"I decided that my sexual orientation was not something I
was compelled to tell my team because I find straight
players are not sitting with their coaches or teammates
aside and telling them they are heterosexual," she said. "I
don't keep it a secret. I just do not make an issue of it."
The Future
Everyone interviewed for this article expressed optimism
about the future treatment of gays and lesbians in sports.
Athletes, coaches and experts alike believe that homophobia
has waned significantly in the past couple decades, a trend
they feel will continue.
Long is evaluating UCLA's policies and said she will
consider making changes if she finds them necessary.
In the meantime, athletes are still faced with tough
decisions, but many in athletics believe the consequences
for coming out won't be as severe in the future.
"It's happened in most sports, sometimes quietly and
sometimes more at the high school level," Coakley said.
"More people are coming out, and in more cases than many
predicted, they're receiving support."
With reports from Jeff
Eisenberg, Bryan Chu, Andrew Finley and Seth Fast Glass,
Bruin Sports senior staff.
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Daily Bruin
Series
On Gays in Sports
Part 1:
Some gay athletes at UCLA feel
isolated from teammates and coaches on and off the field
Part 2:
Female athletes fight
an image
Part 3:
Coaches voice concerns |
Column
UCLA
Needs Tolerance
By
Jeff Eisenberg
DAILY BRUIN SENIOR STAFF
I don't think we have a problem.
The statement was chillingly honest, painfully ignorant and
frighteningly naive.
One UCLA student-athlete has alleged that his coach
threatened to kick any gays off the team. Another said that
men's college sports is not a place for homosexuals. Bruin
coaches and administrators admit no formal athletic
department policy exists for dealing with homophobia.
And yet UCLA administrators maintain they are comfortable
with how the athletic department handles sexual orientation
issues.
"You deal with things as they come up," said Petrina Long,
UCLA's associate athletic director, who oversees life
skills. "To this point I haven't had a lot of concern about
that, and my impression is that we don't have a huge
problem."
That's true, to some extent.
To say that homophobia is rampant within the UCLA athletic
department would be a gross overstatement, because the
majority of the Bruin players, coaches and administrators
appear to be very receptive to gay and lesbian
student-athletes.
But to say that homophobia isn't a problem at UCLA isn't
accurate either. The fact that some gay and lesbian
student-athletes are afraid to come out to their teammates
and coaches implies that a problem does exist.
The response from the gay student-athletes at UCLA to this
story in particular revealed just how much they dread the
thought of being outed.
No gay male student-athlete interviewed for this story felt
comfortable enough to even identify what sport he played,
and several didn't want to be interviewed at all.
All of them said the fear of taunting or physical violence
contributed to their reluctance to come out to their
teammates, and one said he thought he might be cut from the
team if he revealed his true sexual identity.
Each of them also said they have frequently heard homophobic
jokes or comments from teammates and coaches, though most
said the climate at UCLA was no worse than they would expect
at other schools.
The testimonials should be a clear sign to the suits on the
third floor of the J.D. Morgan Center that they have not
done enough to create a safe environment for gay and lesbian
athletes.
"I have talked with guys on team sports (from other schools)
that were literally afraid of being killed," said Ronni
Sanlo, director of UCLA's Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and
Transgender Campus Resource Center. "Though we have a
significant number of gay athletes at UCLA, many feel that
there's absolutely no way that they can be out."
Three elements must be in place, University of Colorado at
Colorado Springs sociology professor Jay Coakley said,
before a student-athlete can feel comfortable coming out.
1. He must believe that the coach will support him after he
comes out; 2. He must have one or two friends on the team
who he believes will have his back no matter what; 3. He
needs to see some evidence of a formal institutional
structure that provides support and legitimacy.
UCLA, in some ways, is lacking in all three of these areas.
Bruin players and coaches confirmed that they have not
undergone sensitivity training for gay and lesbian issues,
although Long said one UCLA coach requested and received
training already this year and hinted a mandatory program
could be on its way for every team by next fall.
And UCLA does not have any sort of formal procedure for
dealing with homophobia, instead choosing to lump it
together with other types of discrimination.
That leaves the athletic department more vulnerable to
homophobia than the few other schools that have had the
foresight to address these issues.
Right now, UCLA's policy is essentially reactive. "If we
have a big crisis, we may end up concentrating on it," Long
said.
To avoid that crisis, UCLA needs to get more proactive.
Train coaches. Educate student-athletes. Invite guest
speakers. Draw up a no-tolerance policy on how to deal with
homophobia, and make sure everyone is aware of the
consequences.
Long and athletic director Dan Guerrero have often said they
came to UCLA because it is a cut above other schools, but so
far they have not handled this issue any better than their
colleagues around the country.
The perception that homophobia exists within the athletic
department doesn't make UCLA any worse than other major
colleges. But it doesn't make it any better either.
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