My partner and I are on a 14-day trip from New York back to Los Angeles. I’ll be posting here about the trip every couple days.
A lot of gay people in the big cities, to me, seem to forget that gay people are actually everywhere. I grew up in a small town and knew a couple gay people. They lived relatively quiet lives and only one was demonstrably gay. It’s been wonderful to see gay people out living their lives together everywhere we’ve been on this trip.
Our latest stop was Hot Springs, Arkansas, where we met Robert and Joey. Just ran into them at another bar as we were sipping our martinis and playing pool in a quiet little bar in the middle of town. It was comforting to see them together and have them come up and just strike up a conversation. The bar manager was questionable and kept talking about how many lesbians were around the area. We spent the whole evening with them, drinking beer and vodka, watching football and singing karaoke. On literally the coldest night in Arkansas in 10 years (it was 11 degrees last night in Hot Springs), they made it the best night of our trip so far.
In Little Rock, we ran into a Human Rights Campaign sticker and a couple young gay guys at Shorty Smalls, a fantastic bbq place (try the pulled pork sandwich). In Memphis, a handful of gay bars with some friendly patrons and a black drag queen who was the spittin’ image of Mary J. Blige. In Nashville, two lesbians own Marche Artisan (fantastic food!!), and the gays were out in force there for ‘brunch’ on Saturday. In Knoxville, Tenn., another couple in a restaurant. Asheville, N.C., featured rainbow flags, pro-gay-marriage bumper stickers and gay men and lesbians everywhere.
While the South is often looked at by the North and West as dangerous for gay people, I have gotten the sense that that vast majority of people just don’t care who’s sleeping with whom. There seems to be a very high premium put on being happy. People smile and say hello here. They hold the door for you. They enjoy life. And, from what I’ve seen, they just don’t care about labels like “gay” and “straight.” Yes, I know the vast majority don’t want us to marry. Yes, I know that racism is still a powerful force in the South. I know. Everywhere has those problems, too. But I’ve been wonderfully surprised by how many gay people are out and about in these smaller communities of the South, and how many have assimilated perfectly into society.
Now, if they could only stop the “Closed on Sundays” nonsense, we’d be all set.
on Dec 22nd, 2008 at 10:38 PM
ASHEVILLE is SOOOOO GGGAAAYYY
on Dec 23rd, 2008 at 3:09 PM
Hey, when are you guys passing through Santa Fe?
on Dec 23rd, 2008 at 6:40 PM
Cyd you found my home state! Yes, the south is as friendly as rumored. I’m glad you found Hot Springs also. I grew up between Hot Springs and Little Rock. Cut my gay teeth in Little Rock (so to speak). Glad you and your partner are having a great trip. Enjoy.
on Dec 24th, 2008 at 1:29 AM
Friendly so long as you two don’t hold hands, ask to sleep on the same room/bed in a hotel, and act as if you were just two friends.
Of course change is taking place everywhere. The question is: At what rate?
Something to keep in mind is how lovely things seem when you’re a tourist. It’s another thing to live there. It brings back my memories of Orlando as a wonderful, magical place when I used to visit it as a child. Then I lived there, and I hated it.
on Dec 24th, 2008 at 3:12 PM
Lucrece, my partner and I have stayed in small towns all over the South in the same room and bed, and not one single clerk batted their eyes. They knew we were sleeping together, as we turned down two beds for one. As for Orlando, I wouldn’t want to live there, either, and the peoples’ feelings on gays don’t enter into my opinion at all!