A closeted collegiate athlete wrote to us today and asked us to post this video on our blog. He said it’s impacted him in a very deep way, and he would love to know what other people think of it. There is a lot going on in the film and lots of ways to interpret it. What’s yours . . .
on Mar 11th, 2009 at 6:59 AM
That is pretty powerful especially for those who are still struggling to come to self acceptance and those worried about being rejected by their family.
I would say to the closeted athlete that there is a world of people who will love and accept him, who celebrate his being, with no regard to his sexual orientation. Life is good even amid the struggles.
on Mar 11th, 2009 at 8:25 AM
Truly thought provoking, but yet a everyday true story for so many young people out there, so many of us live in fear when we come out will we be accepted for who we are as a person and not for the lifestyle that nature itself has made us…And i would say to the closeted athlete look at Matthew Mitcham and take insperation from him, you only need find the strength within yourself to be free to live your life openly and honestly and in time all those closet to you will come to accept you for who you are!
on Mar 11th, 2009 at 8:37 AM
Looks like a talented gay filmmaker who can’t get a break in a crowded market for gay filmmakers and a weak economy posted an example of his work on YouTube to get some exposure.
I’m not being cynical or facetious by the way. I think it’s a good film that has ambiguity enough to allow it to be interpreted many ways and appeal to a broad demographic.
I also think that there are a lot of such films out there competing.
on Mar 11th, 2009 at 2:48 PM
This short film leaves me very sad. I remember the days that I did not think I would survive. I changed a lot when I admitted to myself that being gay was only the start of my real life.
on Mar 11th, 2009 at 7:04 PM
well for one I hope that he doesn’t want to die like the kid in the video. it’s never that bad, guy, things will turn around, people will come around in time, just be you and be honest and you will find plenty of love. plus, you will always have our community to support you. you are not alone!
on Mar 11th, 2009 at 7:47 PM
Very nice responses guys. I was touched by Fox’s, Mark’s, Tom’s and DruggyBear’s post. Yes, even you DruggyBear.
The video was though provoking for me, but let me ask you guys something. How does this video relate to what you went through when you were younger. Did that bed scene ever happen in your life, where you felt a wave of deep down regret rush over you? Did you feel the world was against you?
on Mar 11th, 2009 at 11:37 PM
Wow! That dredged up some old memories and feelings. I was in a big hurry to grow up as a teenager. I had some misguided ideas about what it was to be a gay adult and how to manage relationships. I was a real bad Tom cat right out of the gate and through my 20’s and managed to sabotage anything good in a relationship I had going. Consequently I hurt many guys and let several real good ones get away. Used to drink a lot then too. Glad those days are behind me. I am lucky I didnt have any issues w/depression like some of my buds did. I’m a stubborn curmudgeon so getting me to a councilor then (or now) wouldn’t have worked. Helped my friends a ton though. All I can say is life keeps getting easier and better. My 30’s and now 40’s have been a kick.
on Mar 12th, 2009 at 9:23 AM
It’s obvious that the main character is struggling. Struggling w/ what? Perhaps his sexuality; the emptiness & void that often comes w/ one night stands; being infatuated w/ someone who doesn’t seem to have any interest in you; feeling like you’re alone in this world & only you know what you’re going through; and sadly, contemplating & then carrying out a suicidal mission. Most of my gay friends have gone through those painful struggles & emotions. But we were all there for one another to get through those tough times & to help one another become who we really are. Ultimately, one develops one’s own moral compass on the many broad ranged issues mentioned above.
As far as feeling that the “world is against you,” truth is it is a big part (issue?) of coming out. But hell, the world could be against you for many reasons & not just cuz of your sexuality. Again, that’s what the glbt community is for. To help you get through those tough times & so that one day one can stand proud, unashamed, & uncompromising about being YOU!
on Mar 12th, 2009 at 3:56 PM
This is a very touching short (movie). It reminds me why I am not a fan of athletes who decide to come out of the closet after they retire; such athletes as John Amaechi or Billy Bean. Both try to tell young athletes that they should come out when they were unable to.
I too was a closeted athlete (football and track) and at that time was still coming to terms with being gay.
on Mar 12th, 2009 at 5:30 PM
The first time I viewed this movie I thought it was about struggling to come out and dealing with one’s sexuality. At the same time something about the movie just didn’t add up in my mind. Like I missed something. So I decided to watch it again.
After viewing it again, I’m not so sure it’s really about coming out or struggling with sexuality. Seeing it for a second time I feel it might be more about the guilt of cheating on a boyfriend or the confusion of being caught between two guys and possibly having feelings for both.
Am I completely lost on this one or does anyone else see it that way, too?
on Mar 12th, 2009 at 5:50 PM
Yeah I caught that angle of it too Mike.
on Mar 12th, 2009 at 7:17 PM
Wow, very touching responses, fellas. From what I caught early on is that the guy in the video had a one night stand and is regretting what he did and isn’t very confident with himself. I mean, let’s face it. When you realize you’ve got an attraction to the same sex the confidence you have will be in the depths of BFE since it will be seen as “weird” by friends, family, peers, etc.
The movie begins with the brother there. I believe that’s his brother who yells at the headstone because he didn’t accept his sibling for who he was and his demeanor was the cause of the accident. As you can see the accident is not a suicide and is just an unfortunate event.
on Mar 12th, 2009 at 9:07 PM
About 30 seconds in I opened up a solitaire game and started playing while watching. About 4 minutes in I couldn’t even bother to watch any more of it.
on Mar 12th, 2009 at 9:48 PM
Another tragic storyline with a gay guy dying…add some self-loathing and promiscuity to complete the cliché trifecta…yawn…
on Mar 12th, 2009 at 11:30 PM
Does anyone know where the bagpipe music in the beginning came from?
on Mar 14th, 2009 at 9:38 PM
From an agnostic quickly becoming an atheist: “God bless you, Joe Guckin, for being the clueless lout who’s immune to sentiment simply because you’ve sought no cure for your ADD! No wonder you’re playing solitaire in life.” As to those who can see meaning even beyond noble amateur “Utrecht Film School” attempts to capture the complexities and implications of being gay in a family, surely the romantic melancholy of this movie must stir empathy for the suffering born of silence that many of us in our teen & post-teen years may have felt darkened our lives. What astounds me most about this clip is the fact that it comes from the Netherlands, one of the most socially progressive countries on Earth. Can you begin to imagine how conflicted & hopeless gay kids, as well as their families who care, must feel when “the Love that bear not speak its Name” is discovered within themselves & their loved ones. I can still see how dark my closet was when everyone who surrounded me, family & friends, seemed so unwaveringly straight & as therefore as quietly bigoted as the most moronic of outspoken homophobes. Whom do you trust then? The answer has got to be yourself, knowing that the world outside of the closet has got to be less dark, more open to moments of joy in the daylight. Find a safe haven, dear young promising human being, and try to safely get used to the fact that you, too, deserve your place in the sun. The folks who love you may find it hard to adjust, but that was often the case for me that they were embarrassed in not being “omniscient” enough to have figured it out before. As to those who will hate you no matter what, defend yourself, but move on. Life has such great promise for your future if you know yourself for whom you really are, honestly ready to engage the world that’s waiting for you.
on Mar 14th, 2009 at 10:08 PM
As a complete aside, do you folks out there hate Microsoft’s Word as much as I do? Everytime I try to post a corrected version of one of my (admittedly verbose) comments, Word for some reason posts my immediately previous copy without the corrections! It is absolutely maddening that Bill Gates is the richest man on Earth, don’t you agree?
on Mar 14th, 2009 at 10:57 PM
I wasn’t too crazy about the flick. I agree that it’s supposed to be two brothers (i.e., no adultery), neither of whom had yet come to terms with the one’s homosexuality. I thought that the cinematography of the accident scene was GREAT, but that part of the storyline was a little “too convenient” and just cheapened the rest of the flick, in my humble opinion. And I didn’t get the impression that he was suicidal; he just didn’t know how to deal with himself and was ashamed of who he was; so he was leaving so that he didn’t have to deal with his brother’s/family’s disappointment while he was trying to come to terms with it himself.
The song at the beginning, according to my iPhone App, is:
Artist: I Muvrini
Song: Anu Lasciatu
Album: Terra
on Mar 14th, 2009 at 11:05 PM
Roman. Life never needed to evolve beyond Word Perfect and since I work for Dept of Interior we use (manditory) Word now for 3 years. I bought a dell Notebook 2 yrs ago and they still gave me WP.
Bill is the richest man on earth because he suppressed any and all start ups and even biggies in their day from competing w/him. He did us no service as we might be way further ahead but for his market control and cheaper software.
on Mar 14th, 2009 at 11:38 PM
From an agnostic quickly becoming an atheist: “God bless you, Joe Guckin, for being the clueless lout who’s immune to sentiment simply because you’ve sought no cure for your ADD! No wonder you’re playing solitaire in life.”
Yeah, well, from an extreme agnostic who is never going to take the final leap into atheism: Just because some filmmaker makes a piece of crap so pretentious and, even worse, so boring that I lost interest after a minute, doesn’t make me immune to sentiment. (You’re obviously not around every time I get teary-eyed watching the final pitch of the 2008 World Series.
)
on Mar 15th, 2009 at 11:26 AM
This film is weak on many levels. Editing, cinematography, lighting.
The premise is a little played out as well, don’t you think? I’d like to see some new, fresh ideas, rather than the repackaged boy-likes-boy-family-finds-out-boy-dies formula. If you want to see a good attempt at remaking the whole “coming out” genre – look at Shelter.