Note: We have added a full-length video of the segment after the jump.
“What Would You Do?“, ABC’s show about real-life ethical dilemmas, features an affectionate gay couple in a New Jersey sports bar and the reactions of patrons. The show, which airs Wednesday, at 10 p.m. EDT, is fairly affirming in the reactions of both straight men and women to homophobes who insult the couple.
In the course of our two-day ethical dilemma, we saw a diverse suburban community stand up for a gay couple who was being verbally harassed.
The show used two gay actors (Dusty St. Amand and Dominic Benevento), themselves in a real-life committed relationship, along with other actors who made homophobic comments in an attempt to rile up the bar’s customers. A three-minute video shows what happened at lunchtime when one homophobic actor offended by the gay couple’s public display of affection is told to get out by a burly customer seated at the counter. “You don’t have to go, you didn’t do anything wrong,” the customer tells the couple. “I think you’re beautiful.”
In scenes shot at night, one non-actor customer shows his disgust when the couple kisses, but totally does a 180 when the cameras appears; he is then the paragon of tolerance. It’s a pretty stark example of what people say in private and public
I thought it was a cool concept to set the events in a sports bar and wonder what the reaction would be in different parts of the country. The 200+ comments on the story at ABC News contain the usual amount of religious nonsense this type of story attracts, but also emotional posts like the one from a 17-year-old who says: “I’m an open gay 17 year old and I know what it’s like to be harrassed for being me. I know what it’s like to have to be conciencious(spelling?) every day of what I say,what I wear, and how I act. I fear every day I live. I wake up in the morning not knowing whether I’m going live to see tomorrow. It’s a horrible way for a teen to have to live, and most of you will never understand it.”
I would love to hear how you feel an affectionate gay couple would be received in a sports bar where you live.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 4:50 am
Am I the only one who felt this would have been more interesting had ABC picked two guys that would reflect a “bromance” effect at first and then gushy behavior? See Shelter or related movie to understand what I’m saying. I’d like to see the reaction to that and this one side by side.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 7:23 am
Interesting experiment but I don’t exactly expect even straight couples to carry on like that in a sports bar. It’s annoying to me either way in that venue..
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 8:43 am
Question, why does it seem as though we are always portrayed as effeminate?
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 10:13 am
Question, why is Outsports shilling for a shock/shlock TV show like “What would you do?”
I know it’s sweeps week and ABC needs to jack it’s ratings to set ad revenue and all, but I would prefer if ABC did it by thoughtfully examining the growing number of gay sports teams out there who compete with, and beat, straight teams every week in everything from cheerleading to rugby.
“What would you do?” I wouldn’t watch a second of a second of a show that reinforces stereotypes of gay men as weak, effeminate, and overly sexualized/predatory while also reinforcing stereotypes of sports loving straight men as bigoted homophobic idiots.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 11:08 am
Oh give me a break. Why do some gay men complain every time a gay man is portrayed as effeminate? Guess what: Some gay men ARE effeminate and stereotypical! I didn’t think they were particularly effeminate anyway; They were just playing a role and having fun doing it.
The experiment was interesting and revealing. “thoughtfully examining the growing number of gay sports teams out there?” That’s a great idea, but it has nothing to do with this series they’ve developed. And I enjoyed it.
By the way, there’s no such thing as “sweeps week”; sweeps are the months of February, May, July and November.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 11:12 am
Small correction Cyd….this year, due to the delayed transition to digital TV, sweeps are in March instead of February this year.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 11:51 am
Lol. I stand corrected. Guess you were right, badlydrawnbear. Well they got my vote (not that I’m a Nielsen home).
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 11:55 am
I would want to see them use masculine gay guys just to decouple the effect of them being gay and the effect of them being feminine. By watching this, I now understand more how a feminine gay couple would be treated in a sports bar, but I don’t know if that’s because they are gay or because they are feminine (for instance, they made fun of the guys’ drinks for being ‘fruity’). I’m not excusing maltreatment due to femininity, but I’d like to know where the effects lie.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 11:57 am
Most people dont respond well to public displays of affection, regardless of the couple’s makeup. There is a time and a place for everything. Also, some people are simply not comfortable with two men or two women kissing eachother or acting coupley. Doesnt make them homophobic, just contrary to what they see on a regular basis. Also, no matter how tolerant some people are, others are going to be complete and utter assclowns. Just part of life.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 11:57 am
I’m pretty sure if my boyfriend and I were affectionate towards each other in a sports bar where we are from we would get shocked looks. People would probably stare, make comments, laugh, or appear disgusted. We actually usually hold hands when we’re walking around and people have never actually said anything to us, we’ve had people do double takes and turn around to see if we were really holding hands. Usually we look around to see the level of affection other couples (hetero and homo) are exhibiting. I’ve had friends though that have been verbally assaulted while they were holding hands on our college campus.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 12:12 pm
a couple of queens being affectionate in a bastion of masculinity? what could go wrong?
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Oh come on Cyd, You know ABC had some PR intern send out this clip to websites and bloggers on both sides of this issue for no other reason then to drum up an audience. The segment does nothing more then reinforce the viewers existing positions on the GLBT community. The haters get to cheer the reactions of disgust and boo the “bleeding heart liberals” and the pro gay people get to sit back and cluck about “how progressive some of those low brow jocks are”.
As a theatre major, frat boy, rugby player, and former President of his college GLBT group I can assure you that I am well aware of that there are very effeminate gay men and butch lesbians out there and they are to applauded every day for the work they have done to pave the way for civil rights for all members of the GLBT community.
I can also assure you that for at least nearly two decades I have seen straight guys stand up for gay guys who are being harassed in sports bars. My fraternity Brothers, many who had personal issues with my homosexuality, stood up for me several times at the bars and sporting events in Peoria IL (Go Braves!) in the early 90’s and I continued to see such support through out my adult life living in Chicago and traveling around the United States.
This show, in my opinion, just does nothing to “move the ball down the field” and plays on straight and gay stereotypes in the worst way.
I love Outsport and read it daily, I just hate to see it being used by the ABC PR machine to garner ratings for a crap show tackling a serious topic in a crap matter.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 12:42 pm
I reside in France, close to the German border, as such I often go to the spa in Baden-Baden. Straight and gay mingle butt naked, I never felt threatened, normal I am gay, but more important I never witnessed straight people be offended by gay couples despite the fact that many of the customer are Russian or from Eastern Europe and supposed homophobes.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
“Am I the only one who felt this would have been more interesting had ABC picked two guys that would reflect a “bromance” effect at first and then gushy behavior?”
I thought it would have been more effective had the couple been huge sports fans who also were very affectionate to each other. My guess is that this was shot in one day so they needed to be as out-there as possible to get reactions.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
“I thought it would have been more effective…”
I thought this segment WAS very effective. It effectively warmed my heart to see how many people stood up for the couple. The guy saying, “You guys don’t have to leave, you didn’t do anything wrong,” was just great.
It seems when people say.. “I thought it would have been more effective…”
They mean, more effective at conveying the image THEY wish people would think of when they think of gay people.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 3:14 pm
Jim hits the problem with this kind of “experiment”, as ABC refers to it, on the head …
“My guess is that this was shot in one day so they needed to be as out-there as possible to get reactions.”
The network creates an over the top scenario and then lets the camera rolls and shows the most extreme reactions. At the end of the program, it is great to see the guy at the bar say “I think you are beautiful”, but does that outweigh the the negative reinforcement many straight viewers are going to have.
Maybe my experiences have been unique or special but when I was pledge in my fraternity and some members tried to blackball me because they suspected I was gay, I learned later it was the guy with the confederate flag and calendar of bikini clad women spread out on muscle cars hanging on his wall who stood up in my defense and didn’t care if I was gay or not he thought I would make a good member and I deserved a place in the house. I have had experiences like that happen through out my life.
I have also had to confront white supremacists, like Matt Hale who I attended school with and is currently in jail for plotting to kill a Judge in IL, and truckers at an IN truck stop who did come up to me and my friends and threaten us based on our perceived sexual orientation.
I feel like I have seen the best and worst of many people over the years and I watch this ABC segment and all I see is some TV producers making gays and straights look bad so that they can get a bump in the ratings without really illuminating or deepening anyones understanding of either side.
ok, this is my last comment on this thread I swear
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 3:44 pm
I thought the couple was fucking adorable. Not feminine, but not so masculine either. Average. Sporty-types are not the average males in our society.
I loved the burly guy and the straight woman. The guy just warmed my heart. The straight woman just made me want to hug her.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
There’s no shortage of same sex PDA in Portland and Eugene, Oregon, or Seattle and Olympia, Washington. You wouldn’t likely see same sex PDA at a sport bar though. This area has had a ton of counterculture types and old time hippies in residence so we’ve been working on tollerance for a long while. You’d likely get harrased if it’s a low brow joint. Maybe even get stomped. Lots of ass hats still out there and it’s no fun getting punched out.
The west side of Washington and Oregon is pretty gay friendly but you’d want to pick your venue and crowd to publicly be overtly affectionate or expect to catch some flack. Sucks but it is the truth. I do think most folks would come to a couples defense like they did in the TV show.
Sadly last week a gay Univ. of WA nursing student couple who were spring breaking on the Oregon coast got jumped at 3AM and beaten unconscious. Locals or other spring breakers? Cops don’t know.
I am really sick of all the violence directed at the LGBT community.
I watched “Shelter” and liked it. Cute straight guys played the couple as always.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
“I watch this ABC segment and all I see is some TV producers making gays and straights look bad so that they can get a bump in the ratings”
I can’t help wondering if we watched the same clip. Because in the clip I saw, the only straights looking bad were mostly the paid actor who was trying, mostly unsuccessfully to egg the other patrons on to rag on the gay people. The number of straight people who stood up for the couple far outweighed the haters. At least in their edit.
I don’t know how you think the gay couple were made to look bad. They certainly weren’t behaving in a manner you can’t see a straight couple in nearly every bar in America on any given night.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 5:29 pm
@ Jim: Glad to see someone agrees with me. I think it would be entertaining if they redid the scene somewhere else, say California since the whole Prop 8 issue has scrammed idiots to make even more stereotypical lies.
I could imagine two muscle bound jock-ish guys being affectionate and not garnering much attention from patrons whereas the two gentlemen in the ABC special would more than likely garner attention. Be it positive or negative.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 6:05 pm
“You can’t kiss your boyfriend in f**cking America?” = Best Line Ever.
i think region makes a difference. It sounded Jersey/NYC to me where people rally round one another, very Tri-State post 9/11. Everyone also seemed working or middle class and less likely to carry their insecurities about their manhood in their fists. If this were filmed in a city that just lost a GM plant it might be different.
The dude who said “sick” is a closet case; case closed.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 6:22 pm
“I can’t help wondering if we watched the same clip. Because in the clip I saw, the only straights looking bad were mostly the paid actor who was trying, mostly unsuccessfully to egg the other patrons on to rag on the gay people. The number of straight people who stood up for the couple far outweighed the haters. At least in their edit.”
In the article it described some negative reactions in scenes shot at night among non-actors. The clip they posted was of the lunch crowd.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 9:11 pm
I just posted a comment that I experienced with my ex at Verizon Center in DC during the Capitals game in front of inebriated fans and unfortunately, this website accused me of spamming and I lost the comment.
Gee whiz, thanks a lot.
R-
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 9:15 pm
AS for sports bar, nothing peeved me the most when I went to a local sports bar and requested that I want to watch one women’s basketball game (I prefer collegiate women’s basketball, not WNBA!) on one of these TV sets.
I’m gay male.
And I ALWAYS get the looks as if “Why watch it?”
Screw ‘em. I pay for drinks and food, show what I wanted or I’ll never patronize their business!
One time, my ex and I watched the women’s basketball game — I was livid because my team was losing badly and my ex tried to console — I HATED when people tried to console or pamper me like that — so he attempted to hug and kiss and needless to say, I behaved like a child being angry with the world. LOL. One time, he said, “It was good game!” I ended up not talking to him for the next 2 hours.
That’s how bad I was when it comes to Virginia Cavaliers losing the games…
R-
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
I’m the SAME way. I was driving home from a Rays loss once and the dude I was with just couldn’t fathom that I’d be upset. “It’s okay… it was a good game… and we still had fun.” Umm, no, losing isn’t fun!
I didn’tt alk to him for a couple hours either haha.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 11:32 pm
Usually you go with the flow at a sports bar…not everyone will want to watch the WNBA. Course, I live in Colorado and thats rarely a problem.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
I would like to have seen two scenarios, the one we just saw, and another with a couple of gay sports jocks (say from like the NY flag football team) drinking beer who were really into the game on TV but being affectionate just the same. I wonder if the reactions would be identical. My guess is they would be.
on Mar 25th, 2009 at 11:50 pm
Ridor,
Try Firefox browser if you are getting the spam. I’d be interested in hearing about your experience in the Verizon center.
And given that you are a Virginia fan I hope that you meditate or practice yoga because with their sports winning percentage you must be mad a lot!
on Mar 26th, 2009 at 8:37 pm
phillyrunner you raised a good question. About having other scenarios! Such as an interracial couple. Would there be the same reaction?
on Mar 27th, 2009 at 1:28 am
I thought it was an interesting “candid camera” chance to see individuals standing up for strangers being harrassed. I don’t have a problem with them choosing “effeminate” portrayals - because obviously that is where the strongest homophobic reactions are going to be raised. Even we within the GLBT community have a lot of attitude issues (especially gay athletes) with more effeminate gay guys. I’ve seen it - I’ve heard it - I’ve felt it.
Let’s be mature and self-reflect upon how we as a GLBT community can ensure that we ourselves are not marginalizing each other.
on Mar 27th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Jay Original: I’m using firefox version. I’ll never caught dead using IE! As for Virginia Cavaliers — well, the University should fire AD Craig Littlepage. He’s complacent that basically contributed to the stagnant performance among men’s basketball, women’s basketball and football. Yeah it drove me nuts.
Made some calls to the University praising the termination of Dave Leitao and urge ‘em to dock Debbie Ryan and Al Groh’s salary until they exceed the expectations. I wish I have the same influence that Paul Tudor Jones has on the Athletic Department.
Now … as for the Verizon Center in Washington, DC about 5 years ago. Okaaaay, my ex was a huge fan of Washington Capitals. I’m into collegiate sports, mainly. But my ex has a season ticket to the Capitals. The very first time I went to the Verizon Center with my ex, he had good seats about 10 rows away from the rink. Yeah, basically we were surrounded by inebriated fans.
No big deal. Then my ex wanted to hold my hand watching th game in our seats — I was hesistant due to the fact that there were inebriated fans around us — I was bit paranoid that the sight of us holding our hands would make a scene amongst the inebriated fans.
But my ex whined and assured that we can be discrete by having my coat on the top of our hands. I caved in.
Then a little while later, there was a huge fight on the ice rink between the Capitals and some other team — it was pretty startling scenario — my ex jumped off from his chair to cheer the incident — he literally forgot to let my hand go as my right arm was basically jolted along with his left arm and my coat flew up in the air and landed on some fans about 2 rows down from where we sat (me sitting with my arm in the air and my ex standing shouting like Hell!) — it was crazy but funny scene. But at that moment, I was horrified because many people saw our hands in the air with the coat flying down … but nothing much happened afterwards. Needless to say, I got my coat back and I pushed the coat away — inebriated fans do not bother me these days when I hold a guy’s hand — perhaps only in Verizon Center.
Taylor: LOL! Guess it’s normal these days, eh? BTW, my last name is Taylor, FYI.
Cheers,
R-
on Mar 29th, 2009 at 10:22 am
Click on the MADTv Youtube clip of Gay Sports Fans (hilarious) and that is who they shoulda had. Two average joes at a sports bar and then start kissing… Not these two effeminate guys because, likely, effenminate guys, may likely not go to the sports bar and let alone start kissing. COME ON, ABC! Next you will have coverage of the Gay Pride Parade and show some scary drag queens on the floats.. Wait, thats been done before, IN EVERY TV MARKET ALIVE!
on Mar 31st, 2009 at 9:00 pm
that madtv gay sports fans — they’re PERFECT sports fan. That’s what we need on abc!
I recall seeing a picture in Sports Illustrated where a hockey player got himself splatted against the glass — you could see a couple of hockey fans being startled to a point where they held each other … it was quite priceless picture. Anyone has it?
R-