Comments on: Some players remain in closet even with a title

By: Dee

Dee — Fri, 08 May 2009 18:58:56 +0000

Joe wrote:
The closet is a terrible place. You can’t be HONEST. Oftentimes, you have to LIE.

SFTom replied:
Your first point is not univerally true (study the available literature)
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I’m curious, please point us to the literature.

Thanks

By: CasualObserver

CasualObserver — Fri, 08 May 2009 17:24:02 +0000

One more thought comes to mind, based on my own experiences with softball and volleyball teams that travel and undoubtedly call upon family, friends, and other supporters to help fill a roster for an upcoming tournament.

There’s a very distinct possibility that all these players aren’t gay. I’m not judging, just sayin’…

By: Theodaddy

Theodaddy — Fri, 08 May 2009 05:26:48 +0000

the closet is such a wonderful place! wish I had stayed in

By: Joe

Joe — Thu, 07 May 2009 18:00:15 +0000

SFTom,

Yes, having to keep who you are a secret and/or lying about who you are is healthy.

If you think that your sexual orientation is merely about who you sleep with, then I feel sorry for you.

Everybody has an obligation to help make society better. Don’t be a freeloader.

By: boomer

boomer — Thu, 07 May 2009 14:43:39 +0000

Maybe when straight people stop “announc[ing] with whom they sleep” by spurning family photos at work and removing wedding rings, we can get in a discussion about tact and coming out. Coming out does not say anything about the specifics of your sex life. It acknowledges reality and treats the people around you like adults.

By: SFTom

SFTom — Thu, 07 May 2009 01:21:10 +0000

Joe:

Your first point is not univerally true (study the available literature), and it is a personal choice in any event.

I disagree that an individual has an obligation to anyone else to announce with whom they sleep. I guess I haven’t drunk that batch of PC Kool-Aid yet.

By: Joe

Joe — Wed, 06 May 2009 22:21:25 +0000

SFTom,

There are 2 reasons for coming out:

1. The closet is a terrible place. You can’t be HONEST. Oftentimes, you have to LIE.

2. People/society can’t/won’t change until people see that we’re no different than they are. They can’t see that if you’re in the closet.

I understand that coming out may not be a viable option in the workplace, and there is a fear of losing family & friends.

But you can’t let others do the work of changing people/society for you. You have to do YOUR part as well.

By: SFTom

SFTom — Wed, 06 May 2009 21:11:57 +0000

The “closeted” guys are probably conservative, socially and/or politically, and not comfortable with announcing their preference of sexual partners to the public at large, which is a reasonable, and some would say tactful, stance. I would ask, instead, why the “gay community” repeatedly fails to grasp that some gay men are more comfortable keeping their private lives private? If the point of the team is to “bask” in the (nonexistent) “limelight,” maybe it should require that each potential member certify to having “come out” before being accepted.

By: sportinlife

sportinlife — Wed, 06 May 2009 11:17:47 +0000

It shows how little the law means if you can’t change a culture.

That takes time, but I believe it’s on our side.

Get the “good will” out and the “good” will out themselves.

By: boomer

boomer — Tue, 05 May 2009 19:19:52 +0000

This is too bad. It’s 2009, people. What are you waiting for?