Our story a couple weeks ago about former openly gay college football captain Brian Sims received a lot of attention, and Sims himself got tons of reaction. He said he received hundreds of emails and they are still coming in. Brian has spent hours and hours responding to all of the messages, taking the opportunity to reach out to so many gay athletes who were moved by his story. In October, Sims will be working with the Penn State Athletics Commission on understanding of gay athletes. Brian filled us in on the last couple weeks since the story came out.
Outsports: About how many emails have you received and where have they been from?
Brian Sims: I’ve received about 300 emails so far. To date, I’ve received emails or messages from [30 states and] Saudi Arabia, Iran, Australia, Brazil, France, Indonesia, Singapore, Croatia, England, Philippines, Canada, Turks and Caicos, Costa Rica, South Africa and New Zealand.
OS: What was one story you’ve heard from someone that really hit home?
Sims: I’ve had a lot of stories that really hit home. [One was from] a 15-year-old wrestler who came out to his team by sending the article to all of them. I asked him specifically if I could repeat his story or share some of it with redactions and he said no. One other story that hit home was the following, which was forwarded to me by a local judge:
My best friend just realized he is gay (he’s 27), after many years of wondering why women “did nothing” for him. He just thought he was asexual and a misfit…now, he realizes he was just afraid to look at men. Once he got past the fear, he realized his strong attraction to men.
What made that story so important to him and me is that my friend is a total jock…football lover…baseball lover…and he played football his whole high school/college career. As this whole thing has unraveled, he feels out of place as a jock, and then, conversely, out of place as gay. He is just your typical meathead jock (no offense to my friend!) who has wanted to play running back his whole life…
This article showed him how there is no stereotype, for jocks or gays, and it just made him break down and cry, he was so relieved that he wasn’t alone. He is currently crying at his desk at work.
This is a really crucial time for him, obviously, and he’s very emotionally fragile (thank god, he is seeing a therapist). This article just lifted him up so much, it was incredible. It hit him on so many levels, and I just can’t tell you enough that you may have almost saved his emotional health by posting that. It was exactly the right article at the right time. For all I know, you may have almost saved his psyche, if not life, by posting that. So I wanted to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.
He is also worried that he will never meet a guy with his same interests…and I think this showed him that there are many people out there JUST LIKE HIM. He isn’t ready to come out yet, but he does want to meet someone with similar interests and he never thought such a man existed.
Know that you did a really good deed! 
Good luck with the campaign, and thank you again.
OS: Have you have any negative responses?
Sims: I’ve not gotten a single negative response. One gay guy in England was a little pissed that I’m a supporter of gay marriage when PRO-LIFE should be my issue, but that wasn’t really on point.
OS: Have you heard from former teammates?
Sims: I’ve heard from a couple of former teammates, mostly guys that I keep in touch with anyway. They were all pretty happy about the article and expectedly supportive. A few teammates who I can’t identify (none of my close friends, to my knowledge) have posted on a couple of different sites about this and it got picked up by www.d2football.com which is the Div II football website. [One response was]:
I played football with Sims at Bloomsburg too and although I don’t know who the other teammate of ours that posted above is, I agree with him completely. Sims was an incredibly unique guy to play football with and to have led our team. He was such a part of the character and identity of that football team that it’s hard to imagine those years without him. He was always looking out for his teammates and the younger players. Even though he was usually hanging out with the team, everyone knew he was very smart and got really good grades.
Being a part of a team with a guy like Sims is something I’ll remember forever. After kicking your ass all day at practice, this guy would show up at your house at midnight to help you finish a paper you had due the next day. It was strange, he was a hot shot in every way possible at Bloomsburg but you’d never have known it if you were around him.
To this day I still have people ask me if I knew Brian Sims and what he was like outside of the classroom. I always respond that he was one of the best football players I ever played with but without a doubt, was the best leader I ever played for. He was an incredible guy in college and when I see him now, he’s still the same guy – fun, friendly, and smart.
OS: What would you say to an athlete or former athlete thinking about telling their story to Outsports?
Sims: To former athletes I would say that clearly it’s never too late to make an impact by your story. I haven’t played football in 9 years and quite frankly, I’d sort of figured that my being a gay football captain wasn’t that special anymore. I have certainly learned otherwise. These types of stories are so important to other lgbt kids and athletes who are unsure of themselves but it’s almost more important for straight people and allies to hear that this is pretty common and that a non-shaming, kind-hearted reaction can be the norm. Let’s give straight people the reason and opportunity to be supportive and not let them stay saddled with the expectation that they have to be hateful or judgmental.
To current athletes, I can only say that I have heard from COUNTLESS former athletes who truly regret not saying something earlier. Sure it’s a scary proposition to approach those in “your world” and tell them that you’re not exactly like they are, but the truth of the matter is, every coach, player, cheerleader, that you come in contact with, knows a gay person somewhere – the odds are they love and respect them. I can’t tell anyone to be a hero, but stepping out as a current athlete is certainly heroic.
Brian Sims can be reached via email.
on May 18th, 2009 at 2:49 PM
Cyd,
THIS GUY SAVED A LIFE TOO! I read this very uplifting story about Brian Sims and I knew that his name sounded familiar. I was a teacher in a town in the area in 2000 and I remember that Brian Sims and two of his teammates saved one of my students lives that fall! It was in the news at the time, Sims and two buddies pulled a 16 year old student of mine out of a river and got him to a hospital in time. I remember that a few weeks later when my student was better, Sims invited him and his family to a home game and gave them seasons tickets and signed football.
It happened in August or September of 2000. From reading your article, I’m not surprised that this guy didn’t tell you about it and like being an out football player he probably doesn’t give it much thought these days but I definitely remembered. What an great guy. In one year he saved a person’s life and and lead his team to the National Championship Game. Makes me proud to be a gay man.
Anyway, thought you should know there was a really big story about this guy that didn’t get covered, aside from being an out gay football player!
Dave
on May 18th, 2009 at 3:02 PM
Before I knew all this stuff about Brian, as a professional colleague, I knew he was an incredibly great, genuine guy. These stories just reinforce this initial impression.
on May 18th, 2009 at 5:34 PM
And Brian has had nothing but fantastic things to say about you too, Larry! It seems you have been a very positive force for him
on May 19th, 2009 at 6:56 AM
I think Brian Sims is an inspiration to all people, regardless of sexual orientation.
on May 19th, 2009 at 3:40 PM
The hypocritical message of this article (one in an endless series, apparently) is that if you’re a good-looking, football captain, then people are unlikely to say anything to your face when you come out, but if you don’t fit that description beware. How about running a coming-out story about an unattractive, minor player in an unpopular sport? Or wouldn’t that sell ads as effectively?
on May 19th, 2009 at 3:53 PM
Sorry Tom but your comments are absurd.
Looks are in the eye of the beholder, but we regularly run articles about out jocks in “minor” sports like cross-country skiing, rowing and running. It is rare that we feature a “major” sport athlete, which is one reason why I think Sims’ story resonated.
on May 19th, 2009 at 4:15 PM
Jim:
If there were no unstated consensus on what makes a man attractive, I doubt Outsports would devote so much of its bandwidth to picture “essays” about “hot” athletes. Please.
Are you saying that Outsports would raise a ballyhoo over Sims’s coming out if he were not a former football captain?
In my opinion a man like Sims has an easier time coming out than someone without the cultural advantages his looks and position give him, and Outsports provides a ready-made cheering squad to boot. I’m much more impressed by the average individual who struggles to establish a personal identity, in whom this site would likely be uninterested.
on May 19th, 2009 at 6:03 PM
I can remember the 50′s when a couple of gay classmates were thrown out of college for dancing together in their dorm room [we had transoms back then and that meant 'transom patrols'], so Brian seems heroic to me. Things have changed, but, as I found out personally a while ago, colleges still go after gay faculty and students
on May 19th, 2009 at 6:13 PM
I’m sure Cyd and Jim are already recruiting him to join their “powerhouse” flag football team, which features the former NFL player…
on May 19th, 2009 at 6:38 PM
“Are you saying that Outsports would raise a ballyhoo over Sims’s coming out if he were not a former football captain? ”
Not sure your point here — we became aware of Brian’s story via a longtime friend of the site. Cyd spoke with him, we realized it was an interesting story and wrote about it. We were both surprised as to the strong reaction his story got (he last played 9 years ago), and I am thrilled that he has received 300+ e-mails and that his story has touched people; do you have a problem with that?
We will write about any athlete who we feel has an interesting story. And we don’t base our profiles of out athletes on perceived attractiveness.
on May 19th, 2009 at 6:43 PM
Lol. Bullshit like this makes me wonder why I spend so much time and energy trying to do good for gay people.
Tom, Dwight Slater was one of the first athletes whose story we told – and he was overweight, far from the stereotypical jock who graces the cover of GQ. You must have us confused with Out magazine, who only write about people they feel are attractive. For us, it doesn’t matter – we have told the story of EVERY out athlete who has let us tell his story.
This Is True, we have actually tried to get Brian to play with the Philadelphia flag football team – a team we very well could be playing against. And Esera played one tournament with us. Our team has no former NFL player on it, so gimme a break and get a clue.
Guys, please take your “wah, my life sucks so I have to try to make other people’s lives suck too” bullshit elsewhere. Thanks.
on May 19th, 2009 at 8:14 PM
Jim, Cyd and SFTom – Brian Sims’ story is an inspiration, and he sounds like an incredible guy. I can understand where SFTom is coming from – to us not-so-hot-shots, it’s pretty easy to think the Brian Sims and Corey Johnsons have a free pass to the front of all the lines. But coming out is still a courageous act, and when someone who is looked to as a leader does it with grace, it boosts us all.
And I think it’s worth repeating when someone like Corey Johnson says –
“I was a gender-conforming young man in middle school and high school that luckily in many ways was in a position o privilege, and that really helped me in my coming out, helped me in my acceptance,” said Johnson. “The reports we’ve seen of this young man (Carl Walker-Hoover) [are] even though he was on the football team, he was 11 years old, he was in many ways gender non-conforming. He was in many ways not the young African American masculine image that many people had expected or society had wanted from him, and that was the reason why he was bullied. He was bullied because he was being himself, and he wasn’t accepted for that. I think part of our focus needs to be, and this is GLSEN’s mission, is making schools safe for all students, not just captains of the football team, but to any student, regardless of what position they hold in a school.”
-
on May 19th, 2009 at 9:14 PM
There are lots of ways to criticize Outsports, but alleging that they focus editorial written content only on pretty-boy super-jocks is not one of them. Cyd and Jim contribute stories about rowers, runners, swimmers, figure skaters, and any other out gay athletes. If a golfer or a table tennis player came out publicly, they would write about that too. I seem to remember a huge series of posts about Dan Hawkins, a pudgy club lacrosse coach. It’s not just about looks.
Of course, the RESPONSE will not be equivalent for all of the above articles, but for that you can blame the site’s readers. Football is the most popular sport in America and it has a disproportionate number of ex-players by virtue of large team sizes. That alone would explain the enthusiastic response to this or any other football story.
on May 19th, 2009 at 9:15 PM
I meant to say Kyle Hawkins. College football is on the brain
on May 20th, 2009 at 8:18 AM
There are more ways of being attractive than just appearance–there is respectfulness, good manners, and confidence. Brian has replied to personal emails and been very good-natured about this interest in him. It is hard for many of us to get beyond being a victim in a world that really can hate gays; so just for that reason, it’s nice to meet others who have done well–and a gentleman about it.
on May 20th, 2009 at 11:15 AM
There’s some history here at OS I am unaware of with people flipping Cyd sh*t all the time but he gives back as good as he gets.
I’d be nice if this site didn’t turn into something like Towleroad where there’s a ton of old bitchie queens snarking at each other and hiding behind the annonimity the internet provides.
I love this site and look foreword to checking it out a couple times a day. I might bitch a bit myself but do realize I am a guest at someone elses project. I don’t lift one little finger to provide any content so I am in no position to find fault.
Yeah, Sims is a big hunky fella who would be less likely to catch greif about being gay and coming out. He is also the perfect example of a decent, competient and successful man and former college athelete who just happens to be gay. That should force the straight world to reassess their views on gay men and adjust accordingly.
on May 20th, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Could SFTom perhaps specifically suggest some unattractive athletes, or ex-athletes, who have been overlooked by Outsports?
He doesn’t have to embarass anyone by putting their names here, in a public forum, but could contact them privately.
If he does I’m sure Jim and Cyd would more than welcome his positive suggestions, and complement their current list if needed.
on May 21st, 2009 at 1:54 AM
RE: sportinlife
Aah. You see, think about what you’re saying. That’s a rather insensitive comment because in actuality, it’s saying, “these guys are ugly. Have these ugly guys contact Outsports and MAYBE their stories will be CONSIDERED.” Also, don’t be so quick to seperate said men into “Winner” and “Loser/Victim” categories. There is always more to the other side of the story. I, myself, had to push through so much in life without the fortune of being a jock or athlete (for lack of better words) to get any little bit of respect. Am I a victim? Not at all. However, the scars will always show.
on May 21st, 2009 at 2:02 AM
RE: Kev
“Yeah, Sims is a big hunky fella who would be less likely to catch greif about being gay and coming out. He is also the perfect example of a decent, competient and successful man and former college athelete who just happens to be gay. That should force the straight world to reassess their views on gay men and adjust accordingly.”
We shouldn’t HAVE to fit this mold created by the straight world (and yes, the gays as well) to be accepted. Why can’t we just be who we are? For years, I tried in vain to be an athletic guy who went to the gym everyday. I was deceived into thinking that that would get me the guy and bring ultimate happiness into my life. I neglected my creative and artistic endeavors for which I have been naturally known. My notebooks and guitar collected dust. I got tired of trying to conform. I wonder a lot of times if I even WANT acceptance.
-”I am falling, falling, falling from grace down to you. This is why
you should run.”
on May 21st, 2009 at 9:08 AM
SFTom may have come across as an ungrateful reader, but I think I understand his perspective. However, this is perhaps not the best forum to discuss the treatment that (conventionally) beautiful people get. I have a feeling, SFTom, that your urge to speak is based on your perceiving some “pretension” that the 300-email response is all about Brian’s being inspirational, a great guy, a footballer etc. when the unspoken elephant is his conventional great looks.
Yet this is the way of the world, and it sure ain’t limited to gays. It’s one of those facts of life you just suck up and get over it. Some people are born rich, some are born into power, some are born beautiful. What they do with it is up to them–we all play the cards we’re dealt.
on May 21st, 2009 at 12:35 PM
Hey FourRustedHorses.
I didn’t mean to imply conformity. Most of my gay friends are not sports fans, outdoorsey or ever even leave the pavement. Many are pierced and tatooed and have very eccentric and eclectic tastes, appearances and occupations. A very common and my favorite bumper sticker in Portland, OR is “Keep Portland Weird”. It is very much so and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
What I was getting at so poorly (still) is that the other 90% of the population, the straight folks, the folks who vote and voice their opinions against any level of legal equality (for example) for the LGBT community, they likely have a perception of the LGBT community as a suite of sterotypes. To make this story available to straight folks and point out that here’s a dude who looks just like you or what you’d want your son to be and he happens to be gay. This should force a reassesment of their beliefs and maybe acceptance or at least tollerance w/o violence would follow.
It is funny how much internal peer pressure there is in segments of the gay community such as the gym bunny phenom.
Oh, and don’t put down your guitar bud. This world need more music not less.
on May 21st, 2009 at 5:48 PM
SFTom,
Brian Sims is a hot jock period.. Outsports writes about gay athletes and gay sports… why would they not write about this HOT guy who was the captain of his team and had a great win?
News is news… you can complaint about any other news the same way.. not every person killed makes the news… unless it was a famous person or someone with a great future, nobody seems to care… and as sad as that is, it’s life.
on May 22nd, 2009 at 9:00 PM
Brian Sims is a credit to LGBT folks nationwide. Simply to be who you are, wherever you are, is to be in the vanguard of Humanity. And, to be that person despite the odds against it is to be truly exemplary. Deepest thanks to OutSports for showcasing Mr. Sims, who deserves the highest praise from all athletes who know down deep how many obstacles lie in their way to reach their full potential.
on May 23rd, 2009 at 1:37 AM
Brian has the gift of being a true leader, what difference does it make if he is a sports jock or gay? Our true leaders come from all walks of life and have suffered great adversity. What impresses me most about him is the strength and courage he’s had to be true to his soul and become the person he wants to be.
on May 23rd, 2009 at 1:40 AM
Brian has the gift of being a true leader, what difference does it make if he is a sports jock or gay? Our true leaders are all human beings that come from all walks of life and have suffered great adversity to become the person that they want to be. What impresses me most about him is the strength and courage he’s had to be true to his soul.
on May 23rd, 2009 at 11:43 AM
Kev, you are my new friend.
Thanks for being open-minded and understanding. Now, if I could FIND my old acoustic….!
Anyway, I could go on and on and on and on about this issue but it seems like it’s getting enough response as it is (perhaps annoyingly too much response). However, I can’t censor myself and walk on egg shells because I’ve done that too much in my life and that’s just not who I am naturally. It’s just this story has left a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve seen and heard it before. I can’t speak for Sims because I’m not in his shoes nor do I want to be because then I wouldn’t be me.
He’s already the All-American boy next door with perfect looks, perfect mind, body, etc. Football captain……just basically an invincible superman. Add on top of that, he turns out to be gay! BUT THAT’S OK because he has perfect teeth (I do to thanks to my orthodontist and father’s dental plan when I was 11) and a hot body. What nobody is realizing here is the other side of the gay male “spectrum” of those who weren’t that fortunate. They COULDN’T come out and be who they are openly because they didn’t have any of that and are still scarred from that today. You may not know that but it stays with them in later years. THEY may not even realize that themselves.
Alas, don’t be so quick to celebrate. All I see here is that we’ve basically just swallowed the same sugar-filled fat that mainstream straight society feeds the masses; drawn to it like flies. Forgive me for being so un-PC but by nature I am compelled to stick up for and lead those who are perceived as “nobodies” who were never even given a chance in life.
Quit thinking you have to be better than the best. Quit thinking you have to rub elbows with the best. Quit thinking you have to be a part of the status-quo. Be yourself and be the best of who YOU are. The grass is always greener on the other side and “when you get to Heaven, you will wish you were in Hell”. There’s no earning your way in because once you’re there, you can’t even make ONE screw up or you will be kicked out of their elite club. Stop thinking there’s anything wrong with you because there isn’t!
-”Give me a picket sign/Paint it blank and white like all those stupid teenage boys/We’re gonna need them where we’re going tonight”
on May 24th, 2009 at 1:20 PM
And sportinlife, I’ve seen your posts in the messageboard and that you’ve frequented the “hot jocks” thread. You the guiltiest of them all, you pervert! ROFLMAO
But you seem pretty nice.
on May 24th, 2009 at 1:21 PM
Hey Four Rusted Horses.
For the record I always root for the underdog too bud. Be that a sports team or human elements of society. Part of my blue collar, organized labor and working class roots. I am a Mariners fan too for crying out loud. They are a West Coast variation of the Cubs.
The LBGT world has so few “poster boys” (or girls) in the world of athletics that are positive, traditional success stories compared to the straight world. That it might help to explain why many of us, including me, appreciate this story so much. Remember the real story is as much about Sims team (football/homophobic) accepting him as it is about Brian himself. Yes it might have been a bit easier for him to come out to his team but likely just as terrifying as these situations were to all of us. Sims was an Army brat which usually means these kids move sometimes 1-2x per year and become a bit introverted and self reliant/independent. He also has 2 parents who were Army Colonels for crying out loud. Couldn’t have been easy coming out to them. We shouldn’t assume anyone’s life is easy just that there are some high points of success by what ever you might define that as.
I don’t think any one here wants to celebrate this mans story at the expense of another gay mans story who didn’t have quite as smooth a coming out. I’m just enjoying the moment of a gay man getting some good press is all.
It is human nature to admire a person w/a unique aptitude to perform a task well that interests you but is not within your range of skills. Painters and sculptors have talents not shared by 0.1% of the population. Being good at a sport and thought enough of to be named captain is a bit more common but still a unique attribute. The most endearing attribute Sims has is he’s reported to be a decent man. A nice guy. That’s enough for me.
on May 24th, 2009 at 1:29 PM
Kev,
I respect your opinion and I’m glad you’ve found the positive in this story. Hopefully, we can just agree to disagree. Not everyone can have the same reactions or experiences in life. I know it’s cliche, but how boring would life be if we all had the same reactions!
on May 28th, 2009 at 7:35 AM
on Oct 13th, 2009 at 5:55 PM
hey Brian awesome presentation at IUP the other day!
on Oct 10th, 2011 at 12:59 AM
Let Sims have his day in the sun, it’s not his fault that he was born goodlooking, atheletic and tough, that’s just his nature, from nature. It’s good that he collapsed the stereotype of gays that so many straights think about us. Straights are reinforced by some of Hollywoods movies portraying us as a bunch of feminine acting, boa wearing queens who wouldn’t know a football if they seen one. I get a good boost of adrenelin when I see gay jocks like Brian Sims, Lt. Colonel Victor Fehrenbach and Thomas Roberts admit they’re gay. Go Brian.
on Nov 27th, 2011 at 10:58 PM
I second tristram’s comment and the Corey Johnson quote in it — not to criticize anybody else’s comment or this article, which I really liked, but because Corey makes an excellent point about the need to make schools (and other places) safe places for all kids to be themselves. I’m pretty sure Brian Sims would agree with that too.