Via Deadspin I came across this silly yet addicting application from Stockholm Pride that analyzes a Twitter name and determines how heterosexual the person is based on certain keywords in their feeds. At least in Outsports’ case, it’s pretty accurate — we are listed as being 1% hetero.
I was a bit thrown off though when Joe In Philly, a longtime Outsports poster and blogger, came back as 61% hetero, or twice as hetero as Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco (31% according to Deadspin, but 1% when I did the search). Here is what the app says about Joe:
You seem to be a bit semi-hetero. Just like a chocolate chip ice cream you don’t really know what you want to be. Basically it’s a vanilla ice cream but what’s the deal with the chocolate thingies? Luckily, most people like chocolate.
I think it’s the Philadelphia part that threw off the app, or else Joe has some explaining to do.
Deadspin analyzed the Twitter feeds of dozens of athletes and here are some of my faves:
Nick Swisher: 57% hetero. Key words: new york, milk, big game, coming out, wow
Chris Cooley: 72% hetero. Key words: shop, bear, blow, rent, bruno
Lance Armstrong: 83% hetero. Key words: survivor, barcelona, bob, miami, clueless
Chad Ochocino: 31% hetero. Key words: ass, gym, barcelona, fame, south beach
Dwight Howard: 59% hetero. Key words: pink, bruno, body, chips
B.J. Penn: 38% hetero. Key words: gym, cruising, body, partners, rocky
Serena Williams: 85% hetero. Key words: good work, orlando, miami, body, clean
Venus Williams: 92% hetero. Key words: partners, cute, cook
Georges St. Pierre: 17% hetero. Key words: ass, booth, sport.
Both Penn and St. Pierre are mixed martial artists, and that sport is replete with homoerotic terminology. Either that, or Stockholm Pride knows something the rest of us don’t.
Enter some Twitter accounts on the app (including yourself) and let me know how they ranked. Here is a screen cap from the Outsports ranking:


on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Noooooo! I was 52% hetero.
on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 3:21 pm
36% here….
on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 3:22 pm
I came out 45% hetero, despite the fact that I follow Martha Stewart, Outsports and Joe In Philly.
Found words: Camille, gay, body, New York, shop
on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 4:25 pm
“Joe In Philly…came back as 61% hetero, or twice as hetero as Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco”
I get that a lot.
on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 5:37 pm
61%. I live in Cincinnati and find it hilarious I’m twice as hetero as Ochocinco.
on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Funny, but Chad has now gone up to 41% hetero — he must have seen his ranking and Tweeted to improve it. His keywords: Miami, ass, queer, South Beach, bitch. How is that not -90% hetero.
on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 9:01 pm
Okay, this thing is a bunch of crap! I posted the word “gay” like 12 times in one post to Twitter, and now it says I’m 64 percent hetero!
on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 9:03 pm
Actually I wrote “gay” 19 times. 19 times!
on Jul 23rd, 2009 at 5:30 am
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
Say “gay” as much as you want, but the computer knows… you have het tendencies.
on Jul 23rd, 2009 at 7:12 am
70% here. Hmmmmmmm.
on Jul 24th, 2009 at 10:55 am
88% - huh
on Jul 24th, 2009 at 5:03 pm
It said you dont use any cliche words. We like that
So I cannot be rated ? Do I have to turn in my gay union card ? Hell I went to Denver Pride, I must be gay !