How hetero are you on Twitter?

Outsports hetero %

Outsports' hetero %

Via Deadspin I came across this silly yet addicting application from Stockholm Pride that analyzes a Twitter name and determines how heterosexual the person is based on certain keywords in their feeds. At least in Outsports’ case, it’s pretty accurate — we are listed as being 1% hetero.

I was a bit thrown off though when Joe In Philly, a longtime Outsports poster and blogger, came back as 61% hetero, or twice as hetero as Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco (31% according to Deadspin, but 1% when I did the search). Here is what the app says about Joe:

You seem to be a bit semi-hetero. Just like a chocolate chip ice cream you don’t really know what you want to be. Basically it’s a vanilla ice cream but what’s the deal with the chocolate thingies? Luckily, most people like chocolate.

I think it’s the Philadelphia part that threw off the app, or else Joe has some explaining to do.

Deadspin analyzed the Twitter feeds of dozens of athletes and here are some of my faves:

Nick Swisher: 57% hetero. Key words: new york, milk, big game, coming out, wow

Chris Cooley: 72% hetero. Key words: shop, bear, blow, rent, bruno

Lance Armstrong: 83% hetero. Key words: survivor, barcelona, bob, miami, clueless

Chad Ochocino: 31% hetero. Key words: ass, gym, barcelona, fame, south beach

Dwight Howard: 59% hetero. Key words: pink, bruno, body, chips

B.J. Penn: 38% hetero. Key words: gym, cruising, body, partners, rocky

Serena Williams: 85% hetero. Key words: good work, orlando, miami, body, clean

Venus Williams: 92% hetero. Key words: partners, cute, cook

Georges St. Pierre: 17% hetero. Key words: ass, booth, sport.

Both Penn and St. Pierre are mixed martial artists, and that sport is replete with homoerotic terminology. Either that, or Stockholm Pride knows something the rest of us don’t.

Enter some Twitter accounts on the app (including yourself) and let me know how they ranked. Here is a screen cap from the Outsports ranking:





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12 Comments on “How hetero are you on Twitter?”

  1. #1 SCTrojan
    on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    Noooooo! I was 52% hetero. :lol:

  2. #2 DruggyBear
    on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 3:21 pm

    36% here…. :???:

  3. #3 canmark
    on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 3:22 pm

    I came out 45% hetero, despite the fact that I follow Martha Stewart, Outsports and Joe In Philly. :wink:

    Found words: Camille, gay, body, New York, shop

  4. #4 Joe Guckin
    on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 4:25 pm

    “Joe In Philly…came back as 61% hetero, or twice as hetero as Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chad Ochocinco”

    I get that a lot. :grin:

  5. #5 Catcow
    on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 5:37 pm

    61%. I live in Cincinnati and find it hilarious I’m twice as hetero as Ochocinco.

  6. #6 Jim Buzinski
    on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Funny, but Chad has now gone up to 41% hetero — he must have seen his ranking and Tweeted to improve it. His keywords: Miami, ass, queer, South Beach, bitch. How is that not -90% hetero. :mrgreen:

  7. #7 Joe Guckin
    on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    Okay, this thing is a bunch of crap! I posted the word “gay” like 12 times in one post to Twitter, and now it says I’m 64 percent hetero!

  8. #8 Joe Guckin
    on Jul 22nd, 2009 at 9:03 pm

    Actually I wrote “gay” 19 times. 19 times!

  9. #9 canmark
    on Jul 23rd, 2009 at 5:30 am

    Methinks the lady doth protest too much.

    Say “gay” as much as you want, but the computer knows… you have het tendencies. :wink: :lol:

  10. #10 Maddog
    on Jul 23rd, 2009 at 7:12 am

    70% here. Hmmmmmmm.

  11. #11 Mike
    on Jul 24th, 2009 at 10:55 am

    88% - huh

  12. #12 Paul
    on Jul 24th, 2009 at 5:03 pm

    It said you dont use any cliche words. We like that
    So I cannot be rated ? Do I have to turn in my gay union card ? Hell I went to Denver Pride, I must be gay ! :shock:

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