What do high school football parents, players and administrators think of gay people? Exhibit No. 692 comes to us from Gateway High School in Aurora, Colo. It seems two players got into a little shoving match at practice recently. As penance, the coach made them run a lap holding hands. Cute, right? They weren’t getting along and now they have to hold hands. Instead, it’s being held up as humiliation and the school district is looking into it.
“It sucks because everybody could see us running around the field holding hands,” said Merced [one of the players involved]. “It’s really humiliating.”
Merced’s mother, Tasha Martinez, said the incident is a clear case of hazing.
“To use humiliation as a means of discipline, it’s just unacceptable and I don’t know why he would do something like that,” said Martinez.
The coach reportedly has said it wasn’t meant as humiliation but rather team-building. I believe the coach. Obviously, the worst thing this mother thinks you could call her football-playing son is “gay,” and any reference to it is met with an attack from her. Now Merced says he won’t play football at the school next year. Because you had to hold a teammate’s hand? Are you serious?
I’m really sensitive about hazing, but I just don’t see how this falls into that category.
Hat tip to Queer Two Cents.
on Oct 15th, 2009 at 1:52 PM
Maybe she would feel differently if they were allowed to pray while running and holding hands.
on Oct 15th, 2009 at 2:16 PM
ok this is crazy the parent should stay out of it the coach did nothing wrong i am sure that at one time in the season that both these kids have slapped each other on the butt like all football players do when someone dose a good job i am sure that if that player did a good job and got hit in the butt by another player he wouldnt have a problem with it but he did something stupid like fighting with a team mate and he had to hold his hand the reason he is mad is because he thinks it was a punishment so all i have to say is kid get over it mom mind your own busness and way to go coach
on Oct 15th, 2009 at 2:49 PM
OMG
Imagine being in high school and having your MOM become involved in the media like this woman is, talk about HUMILIATION. Does that mean she is hazing him? She need to get over herself and if he doesn’t want to play, don’t play. I would bet that it wasn’t the first time the two guys didn’t get along and the coach was at his wits end. I would bet that Merced is the instigator and is upset that he got caught.
on Oct 15th, 2009 at 4:13 PM
No, holding hands is not hazing. He could have had them do something more ridiculous, like run for the entire practice in their jocks or do pushups for 3 hours. Running a lap holding hands is nothing major. To the two boys, grow a sack. Dont run to mommy.
on Oct 15th, 2009 at 10:12 PM
At my high school the team captains hold hands at the beginning of a game when they walk out to shake hands with the other team and meet with the refs before kickoff. The first time I saw it I was really taken aback since guys don’t normally hold hands — esp. not these guys. But it’s a tradition and they seem to enjoy it. I’m sure that some other teams have snickered or had their internal homophobia activated. Having seen this tradition several seasons it now strikes me as a very strong statement of closeness and solidarity. It’s simple but impressive.
on Oct 16th, 2009 at 5:19 AM
It’s also probably *difficult* to run while holding someone’s hand, unless both people are making an effort to work together to have similar strides and timing. That might have been what the coach was trying to get at. Certainly not hazing.
on Oct 16th, 2009 at 7:36 AM
What had the coach said – to the boys or to the team – so that it would have been clear that he had “team building” in mind? Had he made a comment re: “gay”?
If it was clearly “teambuilding” why were other kids laughing?
Did the coach explain to any of them that it was a teambuilding exercise?
on Oct 16th, 2009 at 8:25 AM
Clearly there has always been a lot of homophobia in almost all team sports. And football has always been at or near the top of the homophobic list.
Football is such a weird sport. Hand-holding has been a part of high school and college football for decades. Some teams hold hands in the huddle. I’ve seen teams walk onto the field during pregame two-by-two holding hands. That type of hand holding is created by the coaches and exists as part of team building and instilling an us against them mentality. At the same time, anything seen as ‘gay’ has traditionally been condemned. So hand-holding is a bit of a gray area.
Without knowing this coach’s history or what he said before dishing out the discipline, no one here can know whether he intended the hand-holding to be humiliating or not.
on Oct 16th, 2009 at 11:09 AM
What if the coach had them run with their ankles together, rather than their wrists? Both holding hands and three-legged races are COMMON team-building exercises; to complete the lap, the had to coordinate their movements. Holding hands is not as obvious as a three-legged race and has a little psych slap for acting like little children. — I would vote: NOT hazing.
on Oct 16th, 2009 at 11:24 AM
Go read the article from the local newspaper covering the story. (link above)
It says, ” . . . Coach Grant Pippert commanded the boys to run laps while holding each others’ hand as other players jeered and called them gay . . . “.
By allowing that reaction from the other players, regardless of the coach’s original intention, it is hazing and should have been stopped.