Imagine if Michael Phelps or Lance Armstrong came out of the closet. The Welsh version (give or take) of those sports legends has come out of the closet with the announcement from Rugby star Gareth Thomas that he is gay.
One of the many fascinating angles to this story is that he came out to his coach and some teammates years ago after ending his marriage to a woman in 2006. For several years, they’ve all keep quiet while they kept tackling opponents side-by-side with Thomas.
I was like a ticking bomb. I thought I could suppress it, keep it locked away in some dark corner of myself, but I couldn’t. It was who I was, and I just couldn’t ignore it any more. I’d been through every emotion under the sun trying to deal with this. You wake up one morning thinking: “I can handle it. Everything is fine,” and the next morning you don’t want anyone to see your face, because you think that if people look at you, they will know.
Thomas was shocked by how welcoming all of his friends and teammates have been.
[A coach] told two of my team-mates, Stephen Jones and Martyn Williams, and as I sat in the bar waiting for them, I was absolutely terrified, wondering what they were going to say. But they came in, patted me on the back and said: “We don’t care. Why didn’t you tell us before?” Two of my best mates in rugby didn’t even blink an eyelid. Martyn said he never had a clue, would never have thought it. I felt everyone was protecting me and closing in tight around me. No one distanced themselves from me, not one single person.
The article is a great read; A nice way for so many of us sports fans, eager for more athletes to come out, to end the new year. Funny that our year-end podcast was about no big-name athletes coming out in 2009.
It’s also interesting to see fan reaction. On a BBC discussion forum, the overwhelming majority of comments are positive and supportive of Thomas.
Hat tip to UK Gay News and Markus.
on Dec 18th, 2009 at 10:54 PM
The best thing is this is a sport where a big part of the game involves reaching between other guys’ legs, and the players like to get naked after matches.
on Dec 19th, 2009 at 4:19 AM
Congrats to Thomas for his courage and his inspiration to others.
Incidentally, as someone who hasn’t spent any time in the UK, I’m curious for other readers’ opinions as to whether this might be a catalyst for similar comings-out in the USA – or whether it owes to the UK being simply that much more evolved when it comes to accepting people’s sexual differences.
on Dec 19th, 2009 at 4:34 AM
Well, I think it’s pretty major, because sports players still tend to come out when they retire, whereas he’s still playing professionally, as far as I know.
He captained the British Lions (the joint British / Irish team – normally the “home nations” play separately) against New Zealand.
With the exception of New Zealand, South Africa and maybe southwestern France, there can’t be as many parts of the world as fanatical about rugby as Wales, and I think I remember that he broke some kind of record for the number of times he represented them internationally.
Hats off to him.
on Dec 19th, 2009 at 5:37 AM
The perception that the UK is ‘that much more evolved’ is probably over blown. The UK, Ireland, and European fans are brutal when it comes to taunting, throwing things on the field/pitch, and harassing players.
Also, it is not the reaction of his coach and teammates he has to worry about so much, they have a strong personal relationship and are likely to be accepting, it is what players from the opposing side might do. A fine was just announced today for a rugby player who was caught intentionally eye gouging during a ruck, yes eye gouging.
Rugby, for whatever reason, tends to attract rather open minded characters but it is still a brutal sport at times with the potential for serious injury. With essentially only one referee on the pitch to control the game things can get out of hand easily.
It is the respect the players have for each other that keeps things safe on the field.
on Dec 19th, 2009 at 6:17 AM
you will have to be very brave or extremely stupid to want to have a go at Thomas on the pitch, as you will come off worse.
on Dec 19th, 2009 at 9:45 AM
Good show. Quick google search reveals plenty of positive media coverage, esp. in the UK.
BBC: Ex-Lion Gareth Thomas reveals he is gay
http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport2/hi/rugby_union/welsh/8421956.stm
Independent: Rugby lion ‘hopes to make a difference’ with gay announcement
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/news/rugby-lion-hopes-to-make-a-difference-with-gay-announcement-1845507.html
Telegraph: Gareth Thomas ‘hopes to make a difference’ after homosexual disclosure
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/rugbyunion/international/wales/6844172/Gareth-Thomas-hopes-to-make-a-difference-after-homosexual-disclosure.html
Sydney Morning Herald: Roberts hails gay revelation
http://www.smh.com.au/rugby-union/union-news/roberts-hails-gay-revelation-20091219-l6p0.html
on Dec 19th, 2009 at 12:30 PM
The original article is long, but very interesting:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1237035/British-Lions-rugby-legend-Gareth-Thomas-Its-ended-marriage-nearly-driven-suicide-Now-time-tell-world-truth–Im-gay.html
on Dec 19th, 2009 at 1:14 PM
As a Welshman, I can tell you Gareth Thomas is higher profile than a swimmer or cyclist. Rugby is the ONLY sport in Wales and this is a big step forward. Yes, parts of the UK are open but parts aren’t and this step is to be applauded and welcomed. Watched him play this afternoon and could not hear anything from the crowd – as for crowds throwing things on the pitch, I think someone may have seen a very isolated incident or maybe a stray football match
The grand irony is that no-one is surprised, everyone in Wales had assumed he was gay for years!
on Dec 19th, 2009 at 2:24 PM
The Daily Mail headline that broke the story:
“British Lions Rugby Legend Gareth Thomas: ‘It’s Ended My Marriage and Nearly Driven Me to Suicide. Now It’s Time to Tell the World the Truth – I’m Gay’.”
That headline, and somewhat Thomas’s account within the story, is an ex-gay/anti-gay organization’s dream story.
The way this story is presented is fine for those of us who are out, proud and comfortable but I fear that the people that he is most trying to reach, those who are fearful, closeted and self-hating, the way the story is presented may do more harm than good. As was the case with the London police chief that came out, the article is about 90% about how wonderful his life and marriage was, and would have been, until this uncontrolable evil overcame him and drew him away from a “normal”, respectable, acceptable life. He talks on and on about how in love he was with his wife except for this terrible thing that wouldn’t leave him alone. Most non-gay and gay struggling people read this to say that my life was wonderful with the woman I was head over heels in love with until my uncontrolible and destuctive addition was too overwhelming to overcome.
I commend the man for the unbelievably brave thing that he has done. I sincerely hope that he helps others but I’m affraid that his message will do at least as much harm as good unless he finds a way to express it differently.
on Dec 19th, 2009 at 9:59 PM
Cheers for Gareth!
on Dec 20th, 2009 at 1:36 AM
Maybe he was reading all of the Outsports hubbub about Jim not posting enough articles about out instead of closeted athletes. Congrats to Gareth for being his own man!
on Dec 20th, 2009 at 7:59 AM
A very honest look into his life. Kudos for telling the story. It needed to be told.
on Dec 20th, 2009 at 8:16 AM
Daffyd of Little Britain will be mortified.
How will he get over being upstaged by a rugger?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjYgHhxfZGI
Perhaps he’ll have to settle for being the only “committed homosexualist”.
on Dec 20th, 2009 at 8:45 AM
From Ben Cohen’s Facebook page
“Ben Cohen Well done Gareth Thomas!”
on Dec 20th, 2009 at 11:42 PM
Kudos from Canada, Gareth… truly an inspiration to others
on Dec 21st, 2009 at 3:21 AM
“The perception that the UK is ‘that much more evolved’ is probably over blown. The UK, Ireland, and European fans are brutal when it comes to taunting, throwing things on the field/pitch, and harassing players.”
I wouldn’t worry about that in rugby. Gareth might deal with the odd homophobic remark from some idiot in the stands, but this isn’t football. Rugby crowds are pretty civilized.
Interestingly, he’s not even the first well-known Welsh rugby figure to come out. The top ref Nigel Owens came out about two or three years ago and it was accepted much the same way Gareth’s coming out is being accepted now.
on Dec 21st, 2009 at 7:29 AM
haha Jay Original you may be right, now we’ll have coward closet cases chiming in on this board like they have on the others about how they can’t do it cuz whaaaa it’s too hard whaaaa!
guess what bitchez- IT’S ALWAYS HARD! but the rest of us manage to do it and so can you….
on Dec 21st, 2009 at 1:22 PM
Considering this is the biggest story you’d ever had, I’m a little surprised you’re not covering it more closely.
on Dec 21st, 2009 at 2:28 PM
well rugby ain’t exactly the national pastime on this side of the pond, i know couldn’t name any rugby stars before now and I doubt the average American sports fan could either, but he seems to be quite the star out there which makes his coming-out all the more impressive. What a great gift he gave to the gay community this xmas to acknowledge who he is and come into the fold! Welcome Gareth, may you inspire countless others to do the same…..
on Dec 21st, 2009 at 9:09 PM
I think he is very courageous at coming out & should feel more comfortable now. I accept a person as a human being firstly & being gay as just a variation of the human race. Any negative comments usually come from non-intelligent variety of the human race. Love is love & as long as you are not harming anyone,whats the problem.
on Dec 21st, 2009 at 9:27 PM
“Imagine if Michael Phelps or Lance Armstrong came out of the closet”
Lol. How very true and how very American.
It’s like one of the greatest Rugby stars in the world is as big as an American swimmer….? Olympic or not….come on you guys…
on Dec 21st, 2009 at 11:07 PM
“how very American”
wtf is that supposed to mean, John the dick from England? maybe 5% of americans watch rugby but the whole world knows michael phelps and how he won 8 gold medals in 1 olympics. Typical european snobbery. I suppose only the “enlightened” watch rugby unlike us stupid americans, ay?
on Dec 21st, 2009 at 11:15 PM
on second though that 5% is too high, americans don’t watch rugby or soccer because we are not a 3rd world country. we have first-class sports like the NFL and MLB, so why slum it?
on Dec 22nd, 2009 at 12:12 PM
Rugby and football (soccer) for the usa folks who dont understand, can hardly be called 3rd world sports, since the rest of the world (outside of that insular little planet called THE usa) plays both of them.
“Have a nice day” as they say over there in the good ole usa! The lack of capitals is deliberate. Small letters for a country of small minded people who think the world revolves around thier sorry ignorant asses. 
There are a hell of a lot more people playing ,watching and supporting rugby and football (soccer) than the whole of the population of the usa put together. Whereas no one except the usa plays football (imitation rugby) so maybe some people need to shove thier provincial, insular, opinions where the sun don’t shine…..
on Dec 22nd, 2009 at 3:52 PM
sheesh, and here i thought once we elected Obama the world was going to love us?!?! what happened? hey speaking of which, we are the first majority-white country to elect a minority head-of-state. not bad for being so “small-minded” ay?
and i’m sorry but did you really say american football is imitation rugby? ha! try rugby 2.0, hell, rugby 10.0! american football is to rugby what america is to the rest of the world, just like you, except 10 times better!
on Dec 22nd, 2009 at 10:19 PM
What a great Christmas present! An out, gay athlete! Jim and Cyd, I sure hope you’re doing your best to land an interview with this man, who is a Jackie Robinson for gay men!
on Dec 23rd, 2009 at 7:38 AM
DruggyBear: Like it or not, Rugby is a global sport in the way that the ball games popular in the US – football, baseball, basketball – just aren’t. And, unfortunately, there are people in the US who are breathtakingly insular about such things. There’s a movie coming out soon called ‘Invictus’ starring Morgan Freeman as Nelson Mandela that’s about how the 1995 Rugby World Cup helped bring South Africa together as a nation. One Amercan reviewer described it as a story few outside South Africa had heard of. That’s the World Cup whose final match was watched by millions around the globe, all of whom understood its significance. It was covered extensively on news reports and everything. But I guess if few in America have heard of it that must mean few outside South Africa have because, of course, America=world.
As for Obama, yes it’s a wonderful thing he was elected, but people electing someone from an ethnic minority to lead them is hardly new – google Alberto Fujimori for a recent example. Also, the UK had a woman running the country twenty years ago and a Jew during Victorian times. I say this not to boast – it’s not actually that special or impressive – merely to point out that the election of Obama isn’t as remarkable globally as you seem to think. And, of course, neither the US or UK has yet elected someone openly gay to lead them. Only one country has done that, so far.
on Dec 23rd, 2009 at 2:53 PM
Michael Phelps?
Hmmm, not really mate. They DON’t CARE. But if you’re into sports…fair enough..
But seriously what I think has been said. You guys are entertaining but soooo insular.
Who else plays American football apart from the U S of ‘m*ther f*cking A!?
on Dec 23rd, 2009 at 3:50 PM
I always find these arguments fascinating.
America is racist. But who are the former world colonizers? Oh right..UK, Spain, France, etc. Did the UK object to re-colonizing Iraq for oil? I think Blair just said he would have done it without WMD.
America is insular and self-obsessed. But who devours all of our cultural production like a drug? Oh right…the entire world, I guess self-obsession leads to everyone wanting to be like us and break their necks to move here.
I know a lot of American citizens with global consciousness about sports, politics, religion, and everything else. If you aren’t savvy enough to decipher what you are fed in the media about us then that’s your problem.
on Dec 23rd, 2009 at 4:14 PM
Oh Jay, Jay, Jaaay Mr Original..
WHO are your ‘ancestors’? No, not the Indians that were all killed and ruled this land but the europeans who were fleeing persecution?
So firstly, the fact that your ALL immigrants apart from the natives is a negative BUT wow, you ALL made it your OWN country. Who cares?? Me, me..ME.
So some of us would hope you would change in you warped colonial attitude in general but nooo! You’re even worst when it comes to sport.
WTF?
What gives?
You know what? We consider Blair a ‘War Criminal’. EVERYONE. Even the right wing press. What are you guys doing towards Dubya? Ah?
Call a spade a spade. The English are sh*t. But wow, you guys took the banton and run away with it and it only shows in this warped coverage of a rugby legend as seen all around the world but because he isn’t American??!!
Come on dudes. More pics of the straight Phelps! Woh!
on Dec 23rd, 2009 at 7:02 PM
who knew rugby had a world cup!??!?!
and if it’s as great as you claim it is, it’s fitting that American legend Clint Eastwood is the one to tell it’s most glorious tale! nothing is truly great until it gets that American touch! 
on Dec 23rd, 2009 at 7:04 PM
and yes more pics of Michael Phelps, please! i want to hit the bong with him then hit, err you get the idea…..
on Dec 24th, 2009 at 4:28 AM
One thing that’s always puzzled me about London is the number of basketball hoops you see standing in parks – there’s clearly been a major push by someone to promote the game but little evidence that push has had much effect. You see the things everywhere. What you rarely see is people using them for basketball. Last summer in my area – which is predominently black and Asian – they were in constant use but what they were being used for was cricket. In the absence of wickets, the posts made an acceptable substitute.
on Dec 25th, 2009 at 10:01 AM
“truly great until it gets that American touch!”
Lol! I so KNOW you mean that! But hey at least your being funny, so fair play.
Happy Holidays as they say down your hood!
on Dec 29th, 2009 at 10:48 PM
That pic in the MailOnline article with ol’ Gareth in the skin tight red Under Armor is pretty F’in hot. Damn! He’d be one hard pounding top