The latest in what is becoming a mini-trend — closeted jocks blogging — has a new and worthy entrant, One in Eleven, Thoughts of a Gay Footballer Exposed. That’s football, as in soccer. The author, Craig, is a semipro soccer player in England, who has hopes of one day turning pro. His writing is both funny and poignant.
What I like most about One in Eleven is that Craig makes me laugh. He has a good sense of the absurd, which helps given his bizarre upbringing in what basically was a religious cult. I guess it was either develop a sense of humor or go crazy. Here is a bit about Craig’s really, really strange upbringing:
I am the third oldest in a family of seven. My parents joined a christian commune when my eldest sister was one. This commune leads a back to basics lifestyle in many ways similar to the amish. They make a living from their large business and share everything. None of their posessions are private property and noone earns a salary instead everything is shared. … f you visited one of these communes you would probably think it was an amazing, happy lifestyle. They are very welcoming to visitors and work very hard on public relations but there is a darker side which you only realise when you live there.
It goes on in great detail that made me cringe at anyone forced to live like that. Craig’s family moved to the U.S. for a while (it’s where he became a Green Bay Packers fan). It’s also where he discovered he was gay and where he also rebelled against his commune lifestyle and eventually set out on his own.
As I said, Craig is a funny writer. Here is how he describes himself:
- 22 years old
- M
- UK
- Play striker or on the wing.
- 10 inch schlong…. Not but everyone else lies on the internet so I will to.
Craig hopes to move up from semipro to the Premier League, but says his chances aren’t very good, mainly owing to his late start in soccer. His last several posts have focused on him trying to find a job before he heads to be a camp counselor this summer. He landed a slot as a mortgage rep for a bank, which sounds like one of those boring telemarketing-type jobs, but out of which he manages to craft a gem:
I get the feeling this may be my most boring job ever and thats after one day. I had one on one training today and could not keep my mind on what the guy was saying.
buy to let…..repossession…….hmm would I fuck that hot guy sitting in the corner?………..two main types of mor……..I totally would……make sure you go through data protec…….Woah he’s actually really hot, I wonder if he’s gay?.……….you will be monitored on ……… every three weeks…….. If you need to book holida…….hm he has an earing thats supposed to be gay right?….
He’s already developed a mini-crush on Joshua, a coworker, and lays out the scenario for what will happen next:
Will Craig and Joshua fall in love? (13%)
Will Craig turn straight and get a BJ from one of the flirty girls in the loo? (.5%)
Will Craig slip on a banana peel on the way to work tomorow, break his neck and never blog again? (.5%)
or will Craig be a coward, stay deep in the closet and never confess his sexuality to Joshua? (86%)
Ah, yes, the closet. Craig is deep inside and has no plans to come out anytime soon (because of soccer and because of his family). But it does drive him to torment, as in this beautifully written segment:
So what do you do when you see a ridiculously cute guy on the bus? I saw him as I got on and almost forgot to show the driver my ticket. He was exactly my type, black hair, an angelic face, and athletic body, he gave me a beautiful smile as I sat across from him. I couldn’t stop stealing glances at him and each time I did he was smiling back at me.
So what did I do?
Got off at my stop, without saying anything to him. This is what the closet does to me. I don’t know what to do. Some days I feel like my youth is slipping away from me and I’m missing so many opportunities. On the other hand I know my life would be hell if I came out now and I don’t know if I’d be able to handle it.
Being in the closet is ok until you realise what your missing, and that happened big time today. Someday soon everyone will know and I’ll be free at last.
As my favorite NFL player Chad “ochocinco” Johnson said…
“It is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for someone you are not.”
I could go on since he is such a talented writer and touches on a lot of areas, sports-related and not. It’s a rare man who can make a post about food and his love of ketchup interesting. I have become a fan and hope he keeps writing and finds what he is looking for in life.
Disclaimer: As in all these stories about blogs by closeted jocks, I do not know who Craig is. But I have exchanged enough e-mails with him to believe that his story rings true.
Related: The other closeted jock blogs we have written about:
- Closeted high school runner
- South African rugby player
- Pro baseball player
- High school hockey player
- Closeted pro basketball player
on Apr 7th, 2010 at 9:10 AM
“Why Do I Blog”: http://www.gayfootballer.com/p/why-do-i-blog.html is pretty heavy stuff.
Very interesting post if it’s true.
Not the sort of thing to make light of, if it isn’t.
People like “Julian” (Craig?) are probably the majority of gay people in the world, rather than those who choose to live openly.
on Apr 7th, 2010 at 9:25 AM
he has to be a fake if his favorite player is Ochocino
on Apr 7th, 2010 at 2:57 PM
Hey Sportinlife:
The “Why Do I Blog” post was very well done and I just forgot to mention it.
on Apr 8th, 2010 at 1:02 PM
I used to think the folks who’ve complained about these “closeted jock blog” postings were being snarky and unfair, but jeezus, it seems like there’s a new one every other week. Meanwhile, no love for ESPN’s LZ Granderson, who wrote a terrific marriage-equality piece on CNN.com the other day?
http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/04/06/granderson.gay.lifestyle/index.html?hpt=C2
Gee, a guy involved with sports who’s actually, y’know… OUT. What a concept!
on Apr 8th, 2010 at 6:03 PM
isn’t this fake? i saw on the blog dat it is a 48 year old Japanese woman posing as a gay footballer.
on Apr 8th, 2010 at 6:04 PM
Hey Stefan: The post about being a Japanese women is a joke, as it makes clear.
on Apr 10th, 2010 at 5:36 AM
Holy crap, there isn’t a bloodbath here yet? What a shocker!
on Apr 10th, 2010 at 4:11 PM
I don’t want to be the wet towel putting out the fire here, but if this man is not currently, and isn’t going to be in the future, a professional athlete, how is this a closet-jock blog by the admittedly lax operational definition of that term herein? I’m not diminishing his suffering or saying that he has had an ideal, pleasant upbringing, (communal living can be a beautiful thing, but not the way these people were practicing it). Nor am I saying that he was encouraged to be open in his “semi-professional” (read not at all professional) footballer status. But his situation is not the same as a professional athlete, (one who actually earns his living by being an athlete), forced against his will into a closet by his profession’s homophobia, and having to choose between the career he loves and is successful at, or remaining in the closet. That situation is completely different from this guy’s. He doesn’t earn his living through football. The lead-in makes it seem as if this man is a closeted professional athlete, and that is not the case. You even say this man’s blog no longer even covers his involvement in sports, instead charting his journeys through the American job and meat market- so how does this qualify as a closet-jock blog currently?
on Apr 10th, 2010 at 8:22 PM
Hi UncyHerb,
How do you know I am not going to be a professional athlete in the future? I am trying to make my way into a professional league using hard work and natural talent. However I admit that at the moment I am semi professional. I have always been honest on my blog and never tried to hide that. I fail to see how that makes me or my blog less relevant. The fact that you think I live in America shows how little you know about me. Please take the time to actually read my blog before making stupid statements. Oh and thanks for the motivation as well. I love it when people tell me “you will never be professional.” It makes me work harder.
Craig,
P.S. A big thankyou to everyone from outsports who now read, comment on my blog, and email me, you have been inspirational.
on Apr 11th, 2010 at 12:13 AM
wow gayfootballer you should really develop a thicker skin if you are going to have your own blog. Why so bitter? You got your wish and got your blog pimped on Outsports and at the continued expense of Jim Buzinski’s journalistic credentials no less….
on Apr 11th, 2010 at 9:22 AM
Hi Druggybear,
I was in a bad mood because we lost our football game on a shitty own goal no less. It does annoy me though when people are critical yet are doing nothing themselves. I don’t get paid to write my blog or anything I only do it to try and help kids who are in the same situation as I was growing up. I have had many responses from people who says my blog has helped them realize they are not alone. It is very easy to stand on the sideline and criticize other people and much harder to try and make a difference yourself.
Have a good weekend,
Craig
on May 7th, 2010 at 11:38 PM
hey, iam 33yrs old and came out about 5yrs ago and so regret coming out earlier so my advice to u would be do as soon as cause you will miss the boat as i feel i have good luck, keep your chin up
on Sep 6th, 2010 at 11:11 AM
Wasn’t this Craig the gay footy blogger actually some Japanese chick with a great imagination who made the whole thing up because she was ill and bored in bed?
on Sep 6th, 2010 at 1:43 PM
“Wasn’t this Craig the gay footy blogger actually some Japanese chick with a great imagination who made the whole thing up because she was ill and bored in bed?”
No, that post was a total goof written by Craig in response to people calling him a fake. The “Japanese chick” was 84 years old and wrote excellent English for someone so elderly.
on Nov 16th, 2010 at 12:24 AM
Does anybody know what happened to Greg? His blog disappeared. Jim have you heard from him recently?
on Nov 16th, 2010 at 12:45 AM
Don’t know. It was there a week ago and he said he was switching to a different blogging platform, so am unclear what is going on.
on Dec 4th, 2010 at 8:47 PM
Hey for anyone whos interested I decided to shut down my blog because I need to concentrate on my final year of uni. There were a number of other factors as well but I don’t want to go into them. Anyway I am out now to quite a few friends (which went very well), and enjoying life. Thanks if you ever took the time to read or comment on my blog.