So much is wrong with the Dallas Morning News’ article today profiling Oklahoma State wide receiver Dez Bryant, who is headed to the NFL this weekend. First is the multiple uses of the term “sexual preference” to describe Bryant’s mother being a lesbian. I contacted the Morning News and got them to change it online to “sexual orientation,” since “sexual preference” has been listed in the AP Stylebook as a term to avoid since at least 2006. Unfortunately, it went out in the print edition as “sexual preference.” It’s shocking to me that the sports staff at a major newspaper would not be aware of this; Thankfully, I think they are now and very much appreciate their quick response to the issue!
Then there’s Bryant’s unapologetic admission that he doesn’t like his mother being gay:
Mother and son don’t believe in secrets. Honesty, even if it hurts, is the foundation of their relationship.
That’s how they worked through Angela’s change in sexual preference. Dez was in high school when he learned his mother was no longer interested in romantic relationships with men.
“I didn’t like it. Really, I still don’t,” he said. “I dealt with it and now I’m comfortable with it.”
Angela broached the topic with him because she didn’t want her sexuality creating a wedge between them.
“It hurt me that it hurt him. I’m very happy about the relationship that we have,” Angela said. “I wasn’t close with my parents, so it’s important for me to be close with my kids.
How in hell is it still OK to say you don’t like that people are gay? And why is anyone giving this suspended college dropout the platform to say it?
Imagine if one of Bryant’s teammates said they didn’t like him being black. What if he said he doesn’t like the fact that the Mayor of Houston is a woman? That’s the outcry the sports media should be making right now, because that’s the equivalent. Why is it still OK to say you don’t like that ANYONE is gay? Grrrrrr.
on Apr 20th, 2010 at 4:17 PM
WWE wrestler Batista’s mom is a lesbian. Hooray for the mom for being herself.
on Apr 20th, 2010 at 4:28 PM
A black lesbian jew walks into a bar. You discriminate against her because of her gender, your sexist, the color of her skin, you’re a racist. You discriminate against her based on her religion, you’re a freaking Nazi. you discriminate against her based on her sexual preference? It’s somehow a matter of opinion. It makes me sick. Homophobia is the last form of socially acceptable bigotry and it needs to STOP. You’re absolutely right that these news organizations and other media outlets need to lend the same tone and cadence towards homophobia as they do towards any other form of discrimination.
on Apr 20th, 2010 at 5:00 PM
Dez doesn’t like that his mother is gay, huh? Well I don’t like that Dez Bryant’s gay mother gave birth to a douchebag. I think I’ll call the Dallas Morning News to see if I can get an interview.
on Apr 20th, 2010 at 5:27 PM
Look. It’s a major strain on a child to find out their parent is gay. I have two sons, and when I came out and divorced their mother 12 years ago, one was 13, the other 9. I had to deal with the fact that they were angry, and I had to listen to what they wanted to say. (which is not for publication due to obscenities). I took it, swallowed hard, and continued to love them in every way imaginable. In time, the elder became the closest to me. Today, we have a fabulous relationship. The younger lived with me for a while when he was having some problems in school. Eventually, we worked through everything and he entered the armed forces at 19. After a tour in Iraq, I thought everything was okay between us, but the raw emotion of war changed our relationship. Today, it’s strained yet again, but I love him and continue to love him, even though I’m hurt and angry. Dez Bryant has every right to feel the way he feels. He’s fighting back with others speaking poorly of his mother. He’s still an angry, hurt child of a man, but it sounds like he’s at least working on it with his mom. One child loves me and my partner, my grandchildren call him Pappy Allen since I’m Pappy. The other child still has problems, some his own, some mine. It’s the course of human nature. So lay off Dez Bryant. Sure he’s making mistakes, but which one of us has never made the same immature mistakes.
on Apr 20th, 2010 at 6:19 PM
Mike, I understand that. But first, your kids were KIDS. Second, a national newspaper is not broadcasting your children’s distaste for you or anyone else.
on Apr 20th, 2010 at 8:20 PM
I think the “corrected” version is perhaps more offensive than the original, and written by someone who does not understand sexuality.
More important to point out than the term “preference” is the fact that orientation does not tend to ever change. The thing that changes is other people’s knowledge of someone’s orientation or a person’s own willingness to be honest with others about it.
The article says that he dealt with the “change in his mother’s sexual orientation” (or “preference” in the print version).
His mother’s orientation did not change. I am pretty sure if you talked to her you would find that out.
She is either gay and she finally decided to be honest with her son about that fact, or her orientation is bisexual, in which case her “preference” for a romantic partner might well have changed.
I’m sure if the woman had told her son she has a white grandmother and that he was disappointed, the article would have said that he learned the truth, not that his mother had changed her race.
on Apr 20th, 2010 at 8:22 PM
I’m with Greg…
The word choice saying her sexual orientation CHANGED is the worst part about the article.
on Apr 20th, 2010 at 8:33 PM
Well, peoples’ sexual preferences DO change over time. It happens all the time. People are interested in sex with people with one type of gender presentation or sexual identity one day and then, later on they might be interested in a person of a different gender presentation or sexual identity. While some people might be hiding in the closet, for others, that isn’t necessarily the case they are lying about their “true” feelings. Sometimes, feelings and preferences change. Sexuality is a spectrum and it plays right into right wing talking points to rob people of the autonomy of their choices.
on Apr 21st, 2010 at 11:14 AM
Cyd, I agree that there’s a difference between kids and shall we say adult kids. I’d think that my kids had more time to deal with it, and that’s why for the most part, they’re okay. If Dez just found out, I’m not sure when all this happened, it’s still staggering. I don’t believe he said that he stopped loving his mom, he’s just angry that she came out. He feels betrayed that the woman he’s known forever is somebody else. I just don’t think he needs to be beaten up over all this. It’s a personal issue between he and his mother, yet sadly, it was brought into an interview process because these athletes or other famous people are always in the limelight. Like I said, he’s caught hell with teasing and innuendos about his mom in the locker room, which is a cruel damn place just to begin with.
The issue over preference or orientation to me is being taken out of context. I can see how that can happen, but his mom has changed her ‘preference’ sexually. Maybe she hasn’t said she’s gay. Maybe she was referring to her sex life that she’d ‘prefer’ to be with a woman. MSM’s and WSW’s are not all necessarily gay. Swingers regularly entertain different partners of different sexes and consider themselves straight, so not everything is a ‘cookie-cutter’ version of LGBT … now Q and I in there somewhere … It’s too many labels and classifications, and some people just don’t fit the mold or image of what we perceive the gay community to be.
Just a few thoughts, right or wrong, and a different perspective.
on Apr 21st, 2010 at 2:01 PM
@changes Get Real! Peoples’ sexual preferences do NOT change over time and I challenge you to back that up with FACTS. A person’s sexuality is not something that can be casually tossed around “Oh, today is Wednesday. I think I’ll go for guys today and on Friday, I’ll do women!” By saying that a sexual “preference” can be turned on and off like a light switch does more to play into the hands of the right-wing than anything else! Such an attitude bolsters their fallacious argument that “sexual orientation” can be changed (never heterosexual to homosexual, of course; only homosexual to heterosexual). Sexuality is a trait one is born with. It is not something that one acquires, like a tan or new shoes. Yes, there ARE people who are bisexual (even though I believe this to be true, there are many who would dispute me on this), but they are the exception to the rule regarding human sexuality. While it is possible that some adults who are, say, heterosexual might “experiment” sexually with a person of the same sex, it is highly improbable that they do.
on Apr 21st, 2010 at 2:36 PM
Sexual preference is like height: some are taller than others. Some are quite short, compared to others.
on Apr 22nd, 2010 at 12:02 AM
Maybe orientation can change. Not trying to say that a person can change by themselves. But who’s to say that sexuality can’t change? I see someone above stated that it can change over time…how can we be so certain that it can’t?
It’s still an issue that we haven’t reached dogma in, so to speak.
on Apr 22nd, 2010 at 7:21 AM
lets just hope he doest find any problems being complacent with his own sexual preference anywhere on down the road. Your environment becomes you. He has such a great chance right now. I am hopeful he doesn’t SHRINK his chance by saying something very offensive
on Apr 23rd, 2010 at 11:09 AM
I don’t like jello – does that mean I’m jellophobic? Seriously, get over yourself and mind your own business. His relationship with his mother is his business and you have no right to presuppose what his feelings should be. He has every right to not like anything he wants and to express that, just as you do. Freedom of expression swings both ways. Personally, I think gays have forgotten the definition of Homophobia. It’s fear-right? Then I think it’s you that’s afraid. Not liking someone or a situation is not phobia – its called preference and people have just as much right to prefer NOT to be gay and you prefer to be gay without infringing on your choices. Would you be considered straightaphobic then? It’s time to grow up and focus on real issues. Stop the drive-by victimization. And for goodness sake, stop comparing your struggle to that of African Americans…it’s not even close and it’s offensive beyond words. Especially since the gay community is just as hate-filled and bias towards people of color. Read a history book once in while. Honestly, this community’s getting just as rediculous as those conservatove far rights you’re always hating on.
on Apr 23rd, 2010 at 7:55 PM
Dez is a real loser.
on Apr 25th, 2010 at 8:31 AM
thats there family biz who gives a rats assssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
on Apr 25th, 2010 at 8:33 AM
theirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr my bad
on Apr 25th, 2010 at 1:43 PM
[...] to Cyd Ziegler Jr. at Outsports.com, the original version of Taylor’s column used the term “sexual preference,” until [...]
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 7:02 AM
[...] According to the post: How in hell is it still OK to say you don’t like that people are gay? And why is anyone giving this suspended college dropout the platform to say it? [...]
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 9:23 AM
Gimme a break–it’s a normal reaction to be disappointed that your parent is gay–especially if you live in the Bible Belt where role models of gay friends/gay adults are limited since people are expected to stay in the closet.
Children are indoctrinated by SOCIETY and friends to be homophobic, so even if you love your gay parent, there is a process to go through of acceptance. Greater love is found on the other side of this process.
I know–my mom is gay. Several of my friends were “forbidden” to come over to my house after their parents found out my mom is gay: enough reason alone for me to be mad at her.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 12:19 PM
I am in a same sex marriage,been together for 10 married for 2. We have 3 children ages 22 to 36 and 5 grandchildren ages 10 to 16, and not a single one cares or hides that fact from their friends. My husband, who came out after the death of his wife due to cancer. He discussed it with his twin boys and they said it was a respect issue, and that they would be happy with anyone he brought into the family, and they are. All the grandkids call me pops,are happy and we spend a lot of time together we go to the kids ball games, and school events. So as far as can tell it is a issue of respect and the desire to see your parents happy.
I think it is unreasonable to angry with a parent who is gay because you fell victimized the way you are treated by society, the anger and action should be aimed at the perpetrators not your own family.
on Apr 27th, 2010 at 9:56 PM
[...] That tidbit was just a blip in a much larger article in the Dallas Morning News about Bryant’s overall maturity level. From what I saw, it never made it beyond a post on the Outsports blog. [...]
on Apr 28th, 2010 at 1:54 PM
What’s the big issue with being homophobic? There’s nothing wrong with publicly disliking gays. It’s not a lifestyle choice that should be supported in my opinion. It’s wrong and makes others uncomfortable.
on Apr 28th, 2010 at 3:30 PM
DezIsRight, just shut up. Nothing worse than a self-hating queer such as yourself.
on Apr 28th, 2010 at 3:58 PM
Because gay people dont have souls.
on Apr 29th, 2010 at 1:41 AM
You people are mean spirited and insensitive trying to create controversy and smear Dez Bryant before he even gets famous. Dez never said he didn’t like gay people so stop lying on him, don’t put his mom in the same category as every other person in the world, your relationship with your parents is sacred and some children cannot accept certain things about their mother that they can accept from another person that’s the real world.
on Apr 29th, 2010 at 2:16 AM
Funny so many who’ve suffered from societal intolerance are themselves intolerant. A man tells the truth about how he feels about his mother being gay and he’s castigated.
My sons are covering a section on racism and prejudice in their high school government and society class. You know what psychological exams reveal? Those who ADMIT to prejudice are actually LESS prejudice than those who don’t.
Not letting people be honest about what they think and feel is the FIRST AND WORST trait of a dysfunctional society.
on Apr 29th, 2010 at 8:12 PM
This is amazing to me. First, no one can tell someone is gay by looking at them. Of course, if they are transgender or flamboyant, there are questions. Second, to tear this young man down because he admitted how he felt makes him a homophobe. Society is crazy. To the person that equalized racism and homophobia: you can look at me and tell that I am black and a woman but you can’t tell who I am sleeping with, so no, sweetheart, IT IS NOT THE SAME!!!!!!!
on May 11th, 2010 at 7:52 AM
How is it ok to say you dont like that someone’s gay?
Its no different than saying you like someone that is gay… its your opinion. Your not altering the person’s “orientation”, its how you feel. Good Lord are we being forced to not only accept something now but like it too?
The original post is rediculous. I can say I dont like someone because they are democrat, redheaded, short, a postal worker, eat meat or yes, even GAY. The same rights that protect their right to be any of those things protects my right to dislike them, as long as I dont descriminate due to that dislike. Or at least they should.
Sheesh.
on May 11th, 2010 at 6:46 PM
He’s honest. Like his mom. Must run in the family.
on Jun 4th, 2010 at 5:47 PM
Dez is from where? Texas? Shouldn’t surprise people.
I worked with this kid a couple of years ago too…
on Aug 23rd, 2010 at 9:02 PM
I PRAY THAT DEZ AND HIS MOTHER DOESN’T LET DRAMA LIKE THIS BOTHER THEM. A MOTHER AND SON HAVE THEIR OWN TYPE OF RELATIONSHIP, WITHOUT THE OUTSIDE WORLD INTERRUTION. DEZ, GOD BLESS YOU AND LET HIM GUIDE YOUR EVERY FOOTSTEP…
on Aug 23rd, 2010 at 9:04 PM
OOPS INTERRUPTION(SP)
on Dec 15th, 2011 at 1:47 PM
This is a waste of a article how is this news who cared that dez doesn’t like gays and I’m sure there our people that don’t like dez cause his black your free to you’r own opinion this is America right and besides this is a football player not a mayor nor governor nor president that’s who’s opinion should matter not a football player dumba$$ And one more time I liked to say his a FOOTBALL PLAYER let him worry about that not everyone diggs for dirt on any one of your life when you just try to live your life with your family which I’m sure everyone has skeltons in there closet family and indivaul