After I wrote yesterday about hockey blogger Mikey likely being a fraud, I received a request from Jackson to run an article he was writing. I verified his identity (including his photos) and agreed to not use his last name.
As someone in the same peer group that Mikey was targeting in his blog, Jackson wrote a terrific piece on the hoax and its impact. It’s well worth your time.
The Effects of the Mikey Hoax
By Jackson
About two months ago, I began following hockeykidmn.com, a web blog authored by a 17-year-old gay hockey player named Mikey, after having read about the site from Outsports.com. In many ways, Mikey portrayed the life of a typical teenager who was into sports. Mikey’s discussions about his personal struggles with his own sexuality and his gentle personality helped to attract a lot of traffic to his blog. These qualities made Mikey somewhat of a hero to many young readers and a community was born around his blog.
I am an 18-year-old from Canada who officiates junior hockey. As someone who is mostly out of the closet, the blog provided me with an opportunity to connect with other gay sportspeople around my age. Though I didn’t need Mikey or his blog to accept myself, I appreciated being a small part of the community.
As the popularity of his blog increased, Mikey attracted the attention of several websites, including Outsports.com and 365gay.com. He was also interviewed on a gay-themed podcast. All of these things added to the legitimacy of his character.
As Mikey drew closer to some of the members of the community, his true identity was revealed: Mikey was not a 17-year-old, but rather an older imposter. Though I can imagine that all of the readers were shocked to some degree, young readers will certainly be most affected. For many, Mikey’s website was the first chance to accept their feelings and communicate them with others.
For this reason, some observers and members have reacted inappropriately to the new-found reality about Mikey’s identity. Some have refused to accept that they were fooled by a very skilled con man, saying that the real Mikey created the idea of a hoax in order to protect his identity. If Mikey was the caring person that he appeared to be on his site, he would never have left all of the struggling kids as he did for selfish reasons.
Others have unfairly tried to shift the blame for this situation on to other members of the community, whose generosity was exploited by this person to perpetuate the lie that he or she created in the first place. To blame these individuals or to try and implicate them is unwarranted, and only further complicates an already difficult situation for them.
Meanwhile, some have expressed the suggestion that this person’s actions are defensible because they resulted in the creation of a positive environment for young gay teens. However, the actions of this person are not defensible. The ends do not justify the means. Mikey’s story was filled with lies and deception. This deception went beyond his blog posts, as he communicated directly with several of his readers on a regular basis. Defending this individual in any way is damaging for the following two reasons:
The first is that this sends a horrible message to gay youth who often struggle to find positive role models. Many of Mikey’s young followers put a lot of trust into the truth of Mikey’s existence. When the reality of Mikey’s identity was revealed, this showed that the one reason for these young people to believe in themselves was a falsehood. Though one would hope that they will take the best from this experience, they will probably have a hard time putting trust in others again.
The second reason is that it will most certainly be more difficult for a real gay teenager to make a difference through an Internet following like Mikey did, as one of the reasons why the blog became so popular was the exposure that it received from reputable sources. With this experience, it is unlikely that these sources will consider promoting a blog of this sort, despite the tremendous potential that these kinds of online communities have.
I believe that this experience teaches us an important lesson about the dangers of immoderate worship. For many, Mikey was a hero because he was just like many other gay teenage athletes. These same people put a lot of faith in the story of Mikey, which is why it was so devastating when it turned out to be false. It is always necessary to question our beliefs and prepare ourselves for unexpected turns of events, and hopefully this affliction will remind us of this.
To any gay teens who may be reading this, please do not feel alone. There are young gay athletes out there, and even though Mikey turned out to be false, the people that came together as a result of his blog were real, living people whose feelings were hurt by this ordeal. People like Corey Johnson and Brendan Burke are real, just like you, and these people are real heroes. Perhaps the next gay teen role model will come out of this experience. Regardless, one can only hope that those affected by the fall of Mikey will come to be stronger as a result.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 12:11 AM
yeah i guess i know now not to trust any blogs and stuff so that good came out of this.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 12:40 AM
That was as sincere, smart, and succinct a comment as could have been written. Well put, Jackson. While some lost a hero in his unmasking, hopefully those who needed connection found it. Only with a strong community will actual heroes be forged.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 12:59 AM
My takeaway lesson is this: Never believe the person being portrayed by an “Anonymous” blog unless (in this case) Outsports can authenticate the source. To me, “authenticate the source” means that at least one of the two owner/editors of Outsports has to have spoken, in person, with the writer of a blog who wishes to remain “Anonymous”. If Outsports can’t authenticate the blog writer, then they should not promote the blog. Period.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 1:19 AM
Good article Jackson.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 1:22 AM
Jackson, this is a great write up. Well done. I most definitely agree with you on WHO the young kids should worship. It should be those like Brendan Burke and Andrew Goldstein. However, people tend to follow who they can most associate with, and thats why the closeted “Mikey” received a lot of attention.
I hope the disturbed human being behind the “Mikey” character receives some professional help. I most certainly would be fearful if my child had been in contact with this man.
With that said, it is important for us to move on once this is properly covered. I hope we can have some TRUE “Mikeys” out there that are willing to share their stories with us. Once wounds are healed, we should all be able to trust and communicate again…
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 2:33 AM
Great piece, Jackson.
I really feel for you victims of this hoax. When I was a teen, I was scared and alone, I hated myself, I even considered suicide and ended up abusing many substances, many of which I still haven’t kicked, as you probably could tell by my name. I didn’t really talk to anyone about being gay until I went to college. You guys are really lucky to have met and have each other to talk to and lean on. As others have said, please don’t throw that away just because the guy who brought you together turned out to be a phony.
I’m sorry your guy’s site got shut down, that just adds more insult to your misery. I know you guys are gathering at Madeline’s site and that is good news. She mentioned though that it wasn’t the same quality as “Mikey”‘s site, so if you guys need donations to help you set up a new quality site I will gladly contribute what I can. I hope others here would be willing to do the same, because the vast majority of us adults are not creeps like “Mikey”, we swear! Stay strong guys!
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 2:40 AM
Well done, Jackson.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 9:35 AM
Nicely put Jackson.
Even though it it galls me to use a phrase popularized in the US by the man who ignored the AIDS crisis for most of his presidency, Reagan had it right when he said “Trust, but verify.”
Open oneself to the world, in a controlled manner and ever mindful of the possibility of deciet is a critical part of a meaningful life. Al’s statement that he knows not to trust “any blogs and stuff” is an extreme that I hope he gets over.
This is not the first time someone has fooled people online and it will not be the last. However, painting all bloggers as liars and manipulators simply because the use the same technology to connect with people as a liar did is like like calling all Honda Civic drivers homicidal maniacs because one or even a few Civic owners commited vehicular homicide.
Blogging is about people connecting in ways that were not possible even a few years ago. The technology has improved and become simplified enough to allow computer illiterate grandmothers to blog.
It will be hard for those affected by this to trust again anytime soon, but maybe actual trust is not needed to get benefit from the writing of someone online. Put your trust in yourself and your own minds ability to accept or reject a message rather than another person.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 11:32 AM
[...] youngsters who thought Mikey was one of them. Don’t take my word for it. Look at what this 18 year old says about the whole [...]
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 11:44 AM
Hey Jackson,
Great post. Hope we see you around at Maddy’s site again. Your article was incredibly well thought out and written, and really expresses a lot of what most people affected by Mikey feel.
- Jon B
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 3:57 PM
To any young gay athletes who are feeling alone because of this don’t. You are not alone. You come from a great history. A history of being true to ones self.
This person who lied about their identity was never a person to admire. Why? Because even his character stayed in the closet. And that is never good.
Look at the writers of this page. They are out and they are sports fans. I think they even play football and softball. I played basket ball in middle school until a brain tumor affected me. Others I know played football and other sports. They were the butchiest guys in the world and they were gay.
The thing I take away from this story is the deception of who one is. It never works out whether it is a con or a life. Take it from me. A gay brother who didn’t come out until a long battle with my medical condition finally let me be me for the first time in my mid thirties.
I wouldn’t stay in the closet for an athletic career for anything. I am happy. My family can see I am happy. And you can be a happy gay person who is also an athlete.
People keep telling me that being gay is just one part of you. Well, I don’t believe them. Because Gay is not just my sexuality, it is how I love. It is how I frame the world and it is how I see people and how they are treated.
So, be the best jock you can… but do it openly and honestly. And please, you be the hero that other turn to and say… yeah, he or she can do it. so can I.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 4:03 PM
Hi Jackson – would it help at all to think of the blog as a character? ppl feel strong connections with, say, Holden Caufield or the narrator of “A Separate Peace”, tho they aren’t flesh and blood. I never read the blog in question, and I can see that it’s been removed. But your feelings and how you related to the voice on the page shouldn’t have to be entirely negated. I’m reminded of a Harold Bloom quote (paraphrasing from “How to Read and Why”/interviews of his) – “We read because we cannot get to know enough people, deeply enough.” Sometimes characters are more real to us and will reveal more about themselves than our friends in life. Not excusing the guy’s lying and representing himself falsely – and obviously it’s creepy if he were doing this to elicit info from/befriend teenagers. But if you think of it as someone made a character that meant a lot to you, then not everything is taken away from you..
As an aside and for what it’s worth – I was an athlete in HS and college (at one of the frozen four) – tho I’d have had even more fun (and performed better when time came to interview for academic scholarships) if I hadn’t been closeted. You’re way way ahead of that, are very articulate and really seem to understood yourself. So best of luck!
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 5:31 PM
To Cap:
No, I don’t agree with this analysis. Holden Caufield, Atticus Finch, and Huckleberry Finn are characters in books. While people can understandably find connections in fictional characters, the knowledge that the characters themselves are fictitious separates them from characters like Mikey, who led people to believe that they are actual people.
In my opinion, there were certainly spin offs from the hoax, but they are negated entirely by the fact that the person responsible for it was not honest about himself.
Aside from that.. thank you for your kind words about my writing. I hope things are going well for you now.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 5:39 PM
It was not a coincidence tbat I was drawn to this Mikey site during the time Brendan Burke came out and until his death. I remember sayiing to myself that even though Burke was gone, he seemed to have generated a group such as the Mikey nation. Seems like a stupid question, but do people realize that Brendan is dead? His memory of incredible honesty and courage is damaged by this Mikey sicko. Mikey’s posting on Burke’s death was hailed by some media as wonderful and poignant. So please don’t ever mention Brendan Burke in connection with the obviously imbalanced, destructive person who hurt many with this fraud.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 6:00 PM
All the blogs seemed to appear after the baseball one. I know I’m cynical, but I kind of doubt if any of them are real. It was feeding our fantasy of gay jocks with muddled feelings like our own, better suited for a Hallmark channel movie than probably how a truly gay athlete feels in his world, on the field, ice or whatever and in the lockerroom.
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 8:53 PM
Seriously after reading these articles/comments I’m so confused.
WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE!?
I’m the middle here, ready to believe this is a hoax or if the guy is real if the evidence is presented but I’ve yet to see real proof besides claims.
1.) I don’t think it’s ethical to write an article (outsports, not jackson) claiming something without posting the proof.
2.) IMHO whoever has the evidence owes it to the people who made a connection with through hoax-blog and are genuinely hurt by it.
So again I reiterate my question: WHERE IS THE EVIDENCE?
on Apr 26th, 2010 at 9:51 PM
heres another “twist” to the story. “mikey” created this profile on a gay youth social site…but he created it 2 years ago!:
http://www.thegyc.com/comprofiler/task,userProfile/user,76370/Itemid,99999999/tab,getforumfbtab/fireboardfposts_sortby,hits/
on Apr 27th, 2010 at 12:25 AM
@Chad #17: That’s not proof, that’s a online profile. He could’ve used it to reach out when he was younger and connect with other gays. I know what it feels like to be in the closet and a social networking site for gays would be a good place to not feel alone. I know it says he’s 17 but people can lie about their ages. So even if it was 2 years ago he would’ve been 15/16 and lied about his age. (if in fact he is truly a teen and not a 40 year old).
on Apr 27th, 2010 at 12:34 AM
Bob, I never said it was proof of anything. I realize anyone can lie about their age, but it says clearly on the website that the site is for gay YOUTH up to the age of 25. And the fact that hes had it for 2 years shows that IF he is indeed a 40 year old guy, hes been up to some kind of act for far more than just the times hes had the blog (which is only a few months).
on Apr 27th, 2010 at 3:04 AM
Bob, what evidence has to be shown to you? If it’s made public, it invalidates anything that’s been found. Think for a minute.
on Apr 27th, 2010 at 2:56 PM
so wait quick question. if this was all a hoax who was the voice doing the call-in interview mikey did? (it was posted under the press section of his site, can’t remember where it is now but it was a call-in interview with two guys on a gay internet talk show.) that guy’s voice sounded pretty 17 to me. I don’t know, mikey’s whole site just seemed so convincing.
on Apr 27th, 2010 at 3:52 PM
Woah . . .Life happens when you’re writing a thesis. Just reading about all of this now. Jackson, dude that was very well written. Great job man. I will say this, I would be shit tons more pissed off if the hoax were a lie and “mikey” were just trying to bail, than this 40 y/o f*ck. I would much rather be disappointed by some old creeper fart, than by some one so many people cared about.
on Apr 28th, 2010 at 10:00 PM
Um, guys. I had some back and forth with ‘Mikey’ too. I’m way disappointed. Best I can pull out of this is that the ball’s in all of our courts. Forget about proving ‘Mikey’s real or not. This is a great challenge
on Apr 28th, 2010 at 11:41 PM
wait… did i forget the part where i would like to blast a puck between his teeth?
on Apr 29th, 2010 at 12:38 AM
So I went to the new chat room over at Maddy’s and “they’re moving on.” I had interactions with this Mikey and I still want the story, as much as we’re going to get. Blasting a puck between his teeth is a good idea.
on Apr 29th, 2010 at 1:03 AM
Moving on is the only thing we can do. Don’t hold your breath for answers from him.
on Apr 29th, 2010 at 8:44 AM
Is there really any surprises anymore when it comes to the Internet? So what if Mikey is real or fake what harm has he done? If he was trading pics with underage boys that’s another story but I haven’t heard that he was doing that. So what harm did he do but fool a lot of people. Is he the first that did this no don’t think so. He damn sure won’t be the last it’s to easy for someone to sit behind a computer and be whoever they want. I bet many of you weren’t around about 5 years or so ago when another big time blogger took a hit.
There was a blog called Brat Boy School ran by a guy called Ethan. Turn out he was somewhat like Mikey and his blog was one big lie. Only difference was Ethan’s boyfriend was the writer and Ethan was a pretty face to put on the blog. Hell they were so good they got a porn star involved with them. At first they wasn’t hurting anybody until they started selling shirts and other things the problem was they took people’s money and never shipped anything out. Finally one of the guys that knew it was lie and was also there website guy took the blog locked them out and spilled the truth.
Somewhere I missed how this blew up in Mikey’s face. I read his blog for a while but then it got to where it drove me crazy so I just stopped. Then I seen on another blog where this all blew up. I still ask where did he hurt anybody other than with his lies? People you need to look at it as a lesson learn and move on. Unless he harm some kids then that a different story and out of our hands. But if he made you feel good about yourself about being gay then keep that thought and move on. If he did any good in your life hold on to that and move on. It was only a blog like many others out there. Let’s be honest if it wasn’t for outsports and towleroad his blog would never got off the ground he would still be posting on blogger. Just let it go people yeah I’m pissed off like everyone else but I’m looking at it like a bad book I just finished. So now it’s time to find a new book!
Logan
on Apr 29th, 2010 at 8:52 AM
Is there really any surprises anymore when it comes to the Internet? So what if Mikey is real or fake what harm has he done? If he was trading pics with underage boys that’s another story but I haven’t heard that he was doing that. So what harm did he do but fool a lot of people. Is he the first that did this no don’t think so. He damn sure won’t be the last it’s to easy for someone to sit behind a computer and be whoever they want. I bet many of you weren’t around about 5 years or so ago when another big time blogger took a hit.
There was a blog called Brat Boy School ran by a guy called Ethan. Turn out he was somewhat like Mikey and his blog was one big lie. Only difference was Ethan’s boyfriend was the writer and Ethan was a pretty face to put on the blog. Hell they were so good they got a porn star involved with them. At first they wasn’t hurting anybody until they started selling shirts and other things the problem was they took people’s money and never shipped anything out. Finally one of the guys that knew it was lie and was also there website guy took the blog locked them out and spilled the truth.
Somewhere I missed how this blew up in Mikey’s face. I read his blog for a while but then it got to where it drove me crazy so I just stopped. Then I seen on another blog where this all blew up. I still ask where did he hurt anybody other than with his lies? People you need to look at it as a lesson learn and move on. Unless he harm some kids then that a different story and out of our hands. But if he made you feel good about yourself about being gay then keep that thought and move on. If he did any good in your life hold on to that and move on. It was only a blog like many others out there. Let’s be honest if it wasn’t for outsports and towleroad his blog would never got off the ground he would still be posting on blogger. Just let it go people yeah I’m pissed off like everyone else but I’m looking at it like a bad book I just finished. So now it’s time to find a new book!
Logan
on Apr 29th, 2010 at 7:54 PM
While I mainly lurk and occasionally post on outsports, I wanted to say congrats to Jackson on a well thought out and well written piece. I wish I had your poise and confidence at your age.
I never communicated with Mikey although I considered it being I live in MN and am also a hockey fan. I love college hockey and I too wanted to believe he was real; that I’d maybe see him play D1 hockey some day, but have spent enough time online to know that Internet does not equal reality and implicit trust. While I was hopeful, I remained critical.
This person, who claimed to be 17, really created a “creepy treehouse” where someone older lures younger into an online environment to suit their own needs. Mostly that term is used in education, but I think the concept can apply here. It may even look cool and it may say all the right things while hiding the creepy under, but it is at the very least creepy and at the worst dangerous on many levels.
I had an experience online when I was dealing with my sexuality around age 23. I met this awesome guy online who was 22, into sports, masculine, said all the right things, etc… We even had phone conversations in which he really sounded 22. Like Jimmy I fell hard for this guy. He eventually revealed to me he was 42. I was crushed. He honestly thought that if I got to know him that the age wouldn’t matter. While I wasn’t generally attracted to guys in their 40s when I was 23, the real issue was the lie. It took long time to recover from that experience, but I took my lumps, learned my lesson and have grown from it.
I’m a firm believer that there are gays in every segment of society and guys that range from very fem to very butch. Those that are into more stereotypical things and those who get sports and are good at them and in between. The reality is there are gay guys out there that mirror the likes and dislikes and mannerisms of any straight guy. We just tend to see the more stereotypical guys because they command attention and society wants to believe that’s what gays are. Its easier to see us as different that way.
Trying to understand why this guy portrayed Mikey is pointless unless his desire is to be sexual with minors, in which case he should seek treatment and/or be jailed (if he crossed or crosses a line).
To all those hurt, I hear ya and I can relate from past experience. We can’t control the fact that it happened, but we can control how we respond and learn from it. It doesn’t invalidate the connections and people you met along the way. We can also remember how it feels to be lied to and misled and vow not to do it to others. That includes fudging details on yourself, expanding your abilities or pretending to be someone you are not just to get someone to like or be attracted to you.
on May 1st, 2010 at 3:13 PM
Good article, Jackson.
Moral of the story: On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog.
on May 1st, 2010 at 4:42 PM
Artful fiction and journalism are different animals. Some contend journalism is the lowest form of writing, a step above biography.
on May 2nd, 2010 at 2:19 AM
Yea, I’m reading all these great words, but there are a few of us who would just like to beat the crap out of ‘Mikey.’ that’s hockey, too
on May 7th, 2010 at 12:58 PM
So OUTSPORTS, where is the follow-up article that you CLAIMED would be coming????
on May 7th, 2010 at 1:37 PM
It is COMING as PROMISED.
on May 28th, 2010 at 2:13 PM
[...] of younger athletes who identified with his story. An 18-year old fan from Canada had this to say (via OutSports.com): Some have expressed the suggestion that this person’s actions are defensible because they [...]
on May 31st, 2010 at 11:22 PM
I don’t read OutSports often, and the last time I visited the site happened to be when you were first pumping up this “Mikey” blog as though it were real. I went to read it and immediately could tell it was fake. The overly self-conscious and way-too-exact “LOL/OMG” style of the writing was not like anything a real teenager would casually or naturally do. I was really surprised, and still am, that so many people bought into what should have been easy to peg as a hoax. One thing I would say is that gay people, and gay media outlets like Outsports, should refrain from promoting or celebrating anything online that’s written by an allegedly closeted person. If someone wants their experiences of being gay and an athlete, or gay and anything else, to really have resonance and help other people, they should have the balls to come out and write as a public person. Otherwise it should be assumed that they’re not real and therefore not worth reading or giving any credence to.
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