The last thing I expected to be doing on a June Sunday afternoon was to be on BBC Radio 5 debating the merits of the vuvuzela, the plastic horns that have turned the World Cup into one giant constant annoying buzz. I was invited after I wrote an article expressing hate for the vuvuzela, a stance that the vast majority of readers agreed with.
On the BBC, I was pitted against a man from the network who supported the horns, even while admitting he would grow weary of them if he were actually in a stadium. It’s a part of South Africa’s cultural heritage, he argued. Nonsense. If it’s a tradition, it’s a dopey one, and not all traditions should be revered. Let the horns be played during South African matches, but nowhere else.
My biggest problem is that the horns have given the World Cup an artificial atmosphere. It’s as if they are staging the games on a sound set inside a giant beehive. You can’t hear anything else — not the chants or songs from various nationalities and even cheers after goals sounded muted. The vuvuzelas never stop for 90 minutes, and the sound does not change with the ebb and flow of the game.
In addition, there are numerous articles about the damage to hearing that can result (the horns can reach an ear-splitting 127 decibels, louder than a power saw or rock concert). Hearing loss? What a lovely cultural tradition.
I’m far from the only one complaining. Some players (well, the French, so what do you expect?) are already blaming the noise for distracting them. Broadcasters have bitched to the organizers about the horns drowning everything else out, and ESPN has modulated its sound to minimize the crowd noise. World Cup organizing head Danny Jordaan has said he is monitoring the complaints and could ban the vuvuzelas:
We did say that if any land on the pitch in anger we will take action. We’ve tried to get some order. We have asked for no vuvuzelas during national anthems or stadium announcements. It’s difficult but we’re trying to manage the best we can.
Good luck trying to ban them. Imagine trying to prevent thousands of people trying to bring the small horns into a stadium. Or trying to confiscate them during a match. It would be a logistical challenge the organizers would not want to confront. They also would not be wild about being accused of being cultural imperialists. Get used to the buzzing for the next 28 days.
If you have not heard the vuvuzelas yet, here is how it actually sounds for 90 minutes at every World Cup match:
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 4:24 AM
Wow, I didn’t know that cheap plastic was used throughout the centuries in Africa as part of their culture!
South Africans are being RUDE!!! BAN VUVUZELA’S!!!
Treat your guests that are spending money in your country with some respect unless behaving like mental patients blowing horns non-stop like mindless bees is part of your DNA…
It is the WORLD CUP, not the SA CUP!!!
The World Cup 2010 will be remembered by the stupid vuvuzela, not the game itself!!!
I am suprised that you don’t tape strands of firecrackers to your face and light them as a cultural celebration…
IDIOTS!!!
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 5:33 AM
If South Africans want the vuvuzela then they can blow when their team plays. This is a world cup and it is very rude to impose such annoyance on one’s guests. I cannot even watch the matches on tv without having to endure 90 minutes of droning. Very very rude!
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 6:52 AM
Why is South Africa being singled out? Seems to me that this horn is a part of just about any international match I have seen in recent years. Admittedly I don’t watch much soccer and perhaps it’s more prominent in this World Cup but I’ve definitely heard this for a while.
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 8:49 AM
As I’m watching the Danes versus the Dutch right now, that is pretty much all I hear. I would rather hear people singing and chanting (one of my favorite parts of watching sports in general), but all I hear is the hive.
Get rid of those damned things.
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 11:38 AM
@ Steven Harper
Lol, plastic hasn’t been around for centuries! I’m not sure I buy that this is a ‘cultural’ thing..
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 1:24 PM
UPDATE: FIFA will not ban the vuvuzela unless it’s thrown onto the field in anger. In other words, get used to it for another three and a half weeks.
PS – Anyone watch the Japan x Cameroon game this morning? Quite possibly the worst soccer game I’ve ever seen at the World Cup (I’m 26 so the first World Cup I can actually remember watching was USA’94)
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 1:33 PM
at the least, broadcasters should be able to figure out a way to filter out the vuvuzuelas for the home audience. maybe filter a certain MHZ or frequency or something?
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 3:03 PM
mute is your friend
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 7:07 PM
It is annoying to hear on TV and is much worse in person, but if this is a part of their tradition for footballing then I can not bitch and moan for two weeks about it. If the players have an issue with it then I can’t say anything because they are the ones that have to be out there on the field concentrating.
But as a spectator watching on TV, it just blends in after about 5 minutes. I focus on the game and the players and who is positioned where to the point where in the end the vuvuzela is just like white noise to me. Hit the mute button if its getting to you that much and you are “special” to the point where you don’t have the ability to tune things out. Dios mio!!!
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 7:11 PM
And PS…they aren’t going to be banned because FIFA president Sepp Blatter said today that he fully supported the use of vuvuzelas and that it would be disrespectful for FIFA to come in and change an African tradition. So either keep bitchin about it to no avail or just deal! They also use this in other places too so don’t make it something that is just isolated to South Africans.
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 7:36 PM
“the vast majority of readers agreed with” … do you mean all those people googling “I hate vuvuzelas”? Yeh, I suppose they would agree with your stance.
I find this whole vuvuzela debate to be so typical of imperialist, overprivelaged westerners as if our traditions of cheers and songs are somehow better than the traditions of those poor, unenlightened Africans. I’m surprised you haven’t worked the Bell Curve into your argument.
And for the record, FIFA sold less than 2% of World Cup tickets to Africans. So just who are all those people blaring away on the vuvuzelas?
(Man, I was so excited to find a gay site actually covering the World Cup. But this nonsense has left a sour taste in my mouth. Heavy sigh.)
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 8:18 PM
Crispy you better preach boy!! I love it and totally agree!!! People are entitled to their opinion and for someone whose nerves are easily grated I tend to want to sympathize, but its the way some of the comments are coming off in such a superior manner that like you said are leaving me in the attitude of STFU and DEAL!!!
on Jun 14th, 2010 at 11:39 PM
I find this whole vuvuzela debate to be so typical of imperialist, overprivelaged westerners as if our traditions of cheers and songs are somehow better than the traditions of those poor, unenlightened Africans
Female genital mutilation is also a tradition in Africa, affecting up to 3 million women a year and that’s been around a lot longer (at least 2500 years) than a piece of plastic (which only dates from 2001, though horns like it have existed in football stadiums since the 70′s), so spare me your “OMG! You’re modern day Cecil Rhodes and King Leopold II’s because you hate African cultural traditions” bullshit.
For the record, when I’m named Commissioner of Baseball, one of my first edicts after banning the DH will be to ban those hideous plastic tubes that my boys the Angels popularized in 2002.
Oh, wait, why do I hate white Southern Californians like myself?
on Jun 15th, 2010 at 12:46 AM
I’m waiting for the BuzzKillers to have it SpringBok back on them when they find out all that cheap plastic they’ve been blowing on [can't they think of ANYTHING better to blow??] is actually Chinese toxic payback for not qualifying that ultimately kills!
What will the horrible Imperialist FIFAs say then??
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/south_asia/8461298.stm
http://plasticsnews.com/china/english/chinablog/2009/09/toxic_plastic_scrap_kills_thre.html
on Jun 15th, 2010 at 3:04 AM
I see there are record numbers of people watching World Cup games in both the United States and Canada… seems like the vuvuzelas haven’t had an impact.
Enjoy the games guys.
on Jun 15th, 2010 at 10:26 AM
Seems as though the BBC heard me and is considering “vuvuzuela-free” options…
http://soccernet.espn.go.com/world-cup/story/_/id/5287552/ce/us/bbc-mulls-vuvuzela-free-option-viewers&cc=5901?ver=us
on Jun 15th, 2010 at 11:58 AM
I have tinnitus so I hear that same buzzing noise whether the vuvuzuelas are going or not.
on Jun 15th, 2010 at 1:14 PM
This is kind of like if Vanderbilt played LSU at Tiger Stadium and then complained that it’s unfair that the QB was having trouble calling the signals because LSU fans are loud. Everyone would tell them to stop bitching and worry about things they can control.
on Jun 15th, 2010 at 3:00 PM
The vuvuzela of today (well before the Chineese started dumping cheap imitations on the market a couple of months ago) was developed in 1997… How many years are required before it’s a cultural heritage? I got my vuvuzela out and ready for the game this Friday with the US and Slovenia, too bad it’s supposed to be cold. Can my lips freeze to plastic? I have my earplugs ready as well. To all you whiners out there, quitchabitchin and enjoy the game. Ayoba!