Editor’s note: At 15, Los Angeles volleyball player Galen Dodd is likely the youngest athlete who has ever told his coming out story for Outsports. He contacted us and had the full backing of his parents, who helped him edit the story.
By Galen Dodd
Three dates will forever be ingrained in my mind: July 17th, 2009, the day I came out to my sister and a group of 50 (almost) random strangers. April 22nd, 2010, the day I came out to my parents with the help of my sister and introduced them to my first boyfriend. And, most recently, Aug. 26th, 2011, the day I came out publicly. These three dates signify part of who I am. Being gay is only part of me – I am also a volleyball player, a student, a son, a friend and so much more.
I first started to understand that I was different when I was 10 years old, in fifth grade, when I had my first introduction to health. Sitting at those wooden tables watching a video on puberty and health, all I could wonder about was how the other guys in the room felt about the subject of girls and guys. I wasn’t sure whether I was the only one not thinking about girls.
In sixth grade, my parents had me take a health education program called OWL (Our Whole Lives) at our church. The class, which covered everything from eating right to healthy relationships to sex, was where I realized that I was attracted to guys. Eighteen months later, on July 17th, 2009, I came out to my sister and a group of teens as we were attending a teen personal growth seminar, Insight Seminars. During a break, my now-best friend, Allie, said to me: “You’re such a strong person. I love and am so proud of you. What you did inspired me to share myself more.” Also during the break, Leah, one of the people I was closest with at the seminar, said it was “just so great how open everyone can be here.” These comments coming from near strangers started to show me how supportive people truly can be.
Then next people I told, with the help of my sister, were my parents. I had recently got into my first relationship and had been dating a guy, Spencer, for about three months. I wanted to sleep over at his house one Friday, and his dad’s only requirement was that my parents had to know the truth.
Photo by Ian Dodd
I was so nervous that I didn’t really tell them. I had my sister say something about me having a boyfriend and then my mom came into my room and we had a talk about it. She just wanted to express how much she still loved me and I knew then my family would be very accepting. Friday night came, I slept over, and Spencer and I had a blast just spending time together with his parents. Things later started to go downhill in our relationship, but I will always remember that his stepmom, Cyn, emailed me to say, “even though things may not work for you and Spencer, know that I am still here for you as a friend and will always be open to talk.” That really showed me how much she cared about and that there are adults who care for the overall well being of kids. I like them!
For the 2010-11 season, I played for a volleyball club that had a majority of our players from an all-boys’ Catholic school. The entire season I kept my being gay hidden from them (and from anyone in the volleyball world for that matter).
Every practice I would hear some sort of comment about something or someone being “gay” or a “fag,” and each time I cringed thinking of how I would never be able to be who I truly am with them. Even though those terms are not meant to be harmful, and don’t even seem relevant to what the speaker is trying to express, it has become common language among teenagers and young adults. But after I came out, my fellow players have been nothing but supportive. One teammate, Connor, told me after a team party: “I don’t really have any reason to have a problem with it…” It shows that even a guy from a hardcore Catholic school can be accepting. As far as Connor was concerned, I was a teammate and he was going to have my back.
The first volleyball player I ever told was my (then) new friend, Dakota. He was also a new student to Palisades Charter High School and was on the volleyball team. After about two weeks of knowing each other, one Friday afternoon we spent about 10 hours texting about nonsense. Somehow the topic of homosexuality and gay rights came up. I expected him to say some derogatory comment being from a red-neck family, but he caught me by surprise saying he was accepting. I decided to take a chance and tell him. He said, “it’s completely fine, there is nothing wrong with it, you’re just who you are.” It was a good thing and we are still good friends. I knew at that point that, no matter what, I had at least one ally on my school team.
Over this last summer, I traveled to Tucson and spent 10 days training and competing at the 2011 USAVolleyball High Performance Training Camp and Championships. During that time I met an openly gay coach, Travis Turner, who happened to live in Southern California and is the director of Balboa Bay Volleyball Club in Newport Beach.
I was focused on training when I was in Arizona, but when I got back I sent him an e-mail and talked to him. We then had a long telephone conversation and he showed me that no matter what, whether gay or straight, a coach wants a team with players who can win. With that in my mind I knew what had to come next – it was time for me to come out to the world and be who I am supposed to be. I now play for one of the best clubs in the country with 11 other guys that have my back and two great coaches who are nothing but fantastic.
My last step came Aug. 26, a Friday, one of the most important days of my life. The week prior was spent procrastinating about wanting to come out. Whenever I was ready to hit the Facebook “share” button, I got scared and backed off. Finally at 11:45 that Friday night, I posted a Facebook status update that said: “Galen + PMSing + Oh f*** it= I’M GAY… So yea delete me if you want, otherwise goodnight Los Angeles!,” and it felt great! All weekend, my phone was buzzing with activity of people “liking,” “commenting,” and “messaging” me to show their support. In three days, I had 82 likes, 47 comments, and no one had deleted me.
Some volleyball players I knew were completely taken by surprise, and thought I was playing one of those straight-guy practical jokes. One the first responses came from Lucas, who wrote: “Are you seriously gay? like coming out of the closet? If so, congrats I’m proud of you to say that that takes a lot of courage and I respect that. I respect people that are actually homosexual because that takes so much courage to be different…” His response started to show me how accepting our generation can be, even if they say things that don’t represent that.
As I head into the new season, I’ve made so many more friends from volleyball this summer who have been nothing but great. Nick and Vinny are two players I am especially close with. They couldn’t care less about my sexuality and still consider me the athlete I am. I bonded with Vinny on a trip to Junior Nationals in Minneapolis this July. We talk about everything and it really meant a lot when he said, “You’re still a really funny, outgoing, and great athlete. Regardless of you sexuality, nothing will change between our friendship and my attitude towards you on and off the court.” The feeling of knowing you have the support and backing of fellow athletes, friends, and great people in life means a lot. The same applies to Nick, another player I became close to at the Junior Nationals. One morning we were texting and just having some fun and he brought up girls, one in particular, our mutual friend Sara.
Me: “I think she needs a new and gay best friend.”
Nick: “Uh no… The position is filled.”
Me: “Every girl needs a gay best friend, sorry Nick. haha”
Nick: “Oh, awk. I don’t know if she has one of those yet. Haha”
It’s great to just be able to laugh and joke about being gay with a friend who you know is supportive.
I am really excited about the new season, now that I am out and have gotten so much support. We are all going into our “16s” season for club volleyball as sophomores in high school and are excited for Junior Nationals 2012 in Dallas. I also will be playing in the spring for my high school team, Palisades Charter High School. All of us have three more years of high school and I can’t wait to see what happens next.
According to my friend Jackson, I was neither in nor out of the closet but in the “conjoining hallway that leads to the real world” for more than two years. I know the fear that gay teenagers, and especially gay athletes, experience growing up. The feeling right before you come out to someone is a major decision and one that has lots of emotion to it. I was lucky enough to be greeted with tons of support from everyone. I have no regrets and wouldn’t do anything differently.
One resource has been Outsports, which has featured stories about a lot of great people, who if you reach out to them, are more than happy to provide support. I reached out to a number of people and am glad to have those people in my life now. One person in particular is Mari Burningham Winter, the head women’s volleyball coach at the University of Redlands, whose story I read about in Outsports. I was able to bounce ideas off of her on different ways to come out publicly, get advice and hear about her experience on being gay in the volleyball world, and get a new great friend.
My advice to the LGBT teens struggling to be accepted is to take a step back and accept yourself for who you are before expecting others to accept you. Once you know yourself, then others can truly know the real you. You could be surprised with the response. I sure was!
Galen Dodd, 15, just started his sophomore year at Palisades Charter High School in Los Angeles. He also plays club volleyball at the SCVC-Southern California Volleyball Club. He plays middle blocker and opposite hitter. His awards include CIF-LA JV First Team 2011, 2011 Pali High Freshman of the Year and 2011 USAV High Performance attendee. He welcomes emails at galen.dodd@gmail.com or on Facebook at Galen Dodd.
on Oct 24th, 2011 at 12:51 AM
I’m so proud of him! When I first saw his facebook update, I was taken aback and just laughed because I somehow knew all along (:
on Oct 24th, 2011 at 1:57 AM
YOU ARE AWESOME!!!
on Oct 24th, 2011 at 2:27 AM
Galen,
People in my generation (your parents’ age) are humbled, honored, and hopeful when we see the courage and beauty of kids in YOUR generation.
Proud to know you.
on Oct 24th, 2011 at 11:05 AM
This is a touching story about Galen’s coming out and acceptance, but I am saddened that his parents got him involved in Insight at such a young age. Insight is a large-group awareness training similar to est (rebranded as Landmark Education) and Lifespring.
on Oct 24th, 2011 at 8:09 PM
YAY Galen!! Congratulations on many, many fronts! Your parents deserve a lot of congratulations too, they sound completely AWESOME. And congratulations especially for being so successful in your chosen sport. Your article was very touching, and it shows a lot of character. I think you are going to have great successes in life.
I don’t know if you know this, but more and more of the top colleges are intentionally trying to enroll out gay high school students, because they have come to understand that out gay students like you show tremendous character, strength, and leadership–which is what the top schools all want in their student body. [And they probably also realize that the average gay person tends to be a lot more interesting a person than the average straight person--but I won't go there.] .
My alma mater, the University of Pennsylvania, is in fact asking gay alumni to get the word out to out gay high school students that they are trying to bring more out gay students to Penn. So if you’ve ever given any thought to going to a great Ivy League college in a great city (Philadelphia), give it some thought–Penn is a wonderful choice. If you’d like to correspond privately, just respond here and I’ll be happy to talk with you further. Congratulations again–and good luck! Best regards, DAVE.
on Oct 25th, 2011 at 1:37 PM
Galen:
Awesome story, thanks for sharing it. And, as others have said, thanks to your parents and sister, too.
To start the bidding war, don’t listen to Dave. Penn sucks. Princeton rules (if you’re thinking of going Ivy . . . Michigan is the best choice, just saying.) Hehehe
Actually, I’m sure you’ll have many choices! Thanks again.
In Peace
Charley Sullivan
Associate Head Coach
University of Michigan
on Oct 25th, 2011 at 8:30 PM
Congratulations! Now, go kill em on the court!!!
on Oct 27th, 2011 at 1:52 AM
what a great article, galen. it’s truly so inspiring! i didn’t have the courage to come out until i was in my mid-twenties. i’m so glad someone like you took the risk to write this article, to remind more teens and adults that it’s worth it to be yourself in this world.
you are my hero, galen. thank you so much!
on Oct 27th, 2011 at 9:16 PM
Great work Galen! With that “secret” now revealed, you can get on with the rest of your life without having to question every move you make. We wish we had such courage at 15.
on Oct 28th, 2011 at 11:27 AM
You are a courageous, smart and benevolent young man. Benevolent because you are sharing your story to help others like you, but I also hope that your story will help parents of gay youth who do not share the same open minds as your parents, and Spencer’s. No one has commented yet on the strength and wisdom of Spencer’s parents, especially his father, who stressed the importance of being truthful about who you are to your mom and dad.
Continued good luck. I have been playing volleyball for 25+ years and love it….
on Dec 18th, 2011 at 5:53 AM
As a straight guy I don’t have to face the prospect of coming out, but your words really painted a picture for me. The excitement in your words, the excitement of being accepted for who you are, tells me how difficult the situation was. Everyone has experienced the sensation of complete dread of an upcoming stressful event; and when it passes without a hitch we feel the excitement of a new sense of freedom. I read your words, and I see that feeling…. but at a 1000x level.
The word courage was mentioned quite a few times. And I think that best describes it. We are all different in one way or another… and at 15 our goal is to minimize that difference as much as possible. But for you to announce it and celebrate it…. takes courage.
And much respect for your family, friends and teammates for their positive attitude towards the news. Let’s face it, the decision to come out wouldn’t be stressful if everyone experienced the reaction that you have.