It is moving and also practical and well worth your time:

Dear Little Andrew,

By now you probably have concluded that you aren’t like the other kids. You’re different. You’re gay and it’s okay. First of all, you were born gay. There is nothing you can say or do to be straight you can act straight and spend lots of time and effort to convince others you are straight but you are just lying to yourself and others. The greatest good you can do is be yourself, because all the people that don’t like who you are don’t matter. Fuck the haters. You don’t have to come out right away but you can stop convincing yourself that conforming to everyone else in middle/high school will help you survive it. Being different is a great gift it makes you interesting and stand out from people.

Stop fearing the gay community and your future in it. The parades, “flamers”, and all that pride are not bad things. You will find that the gay community has some of the nicest people you will know be it LGBT people or those who support us. They are friends who will like you for you, embrace it. Also stop hating on the “flamers” although you may not feel and act the way you do and you don’t appreciate the stereotypes they bring, they are human too, respect that.

Focus on what is really important. I know people have been “dating” from 5th grade to now, but being gay is different. For one, you can’t expect to get a boyfriend without being out, plus even if you are out not many others are. Gay relationships are rare at young ages and if you do happen to get one appreciate it. However, relationships aren’t the most important thing to worry about and get hung up on. You have talents, hobbies, sports, school, and friends to focus on. They are dependable and useful and ultimately your safest bet to succeed in life.

Surround yourself with the right friends who will support you. There’s not much of a point in befriending that really homophobic kid that trash talks gays all the time. Find the good ones that support gay rights and ultimately the true you. Also, you’ll be surprised how many of the kids these days really do support LGBT. Change is happening!

Lastly, I can’t stress this enough. Love yourself. You are perfect the way you are, hold on to your uniqueness and appreciate it. Any obstacle you face can be overcome, there will always be tomorrow so keep calm and carry on.

Sincerely,
Older Andrew

On a more humorous note, check out Andrew’s Gay Ten Commandments.

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Jacob Gardner (Photo by Peter Hvizdak/Register)

Two years ago, Jacob Gardner of Madison, Conn., was walking on the track before a high school track meet when he was hit in the head by a rock thrown by a teammate who said he did it because Jacob is gay. A great story in the Shorline (Conn.) Times relates that this has a happy ending, making Jacob an advocate for other gay teens and athletes.

“It was an awakening,” says Gardner, 17, now a junior. “I had been bullied and teased in middle school, but once I got to the high school, everything had settled down. I even dared to join an athletic team.

“When I joined the cross-country team, I realized I couldn’t have chosen a better team to participate with. I was treated like one of the guys. People weren’t saying nasty things to me in the hallways anymore. I was in a passive state of feeling that things were getting better. And then that happened.”

The boy who threw the rock was booed by the rest of the team the next day and kicked off the team and the school gave Jacob and his parents their support.

“Life can be difficult for gay athletes,” he says. “In sports, especially for boys, athletes are portrayed as hyper-masculine. The stereotype for gays is effeminate and wimpy.

“For some athletes, coming out to their team is very hard. There are some people who still are not OK with it, and sometimes in sports, the person who is not OK with it might be the person who is running into you.”

The story, which is a nice story about a person who decided to fight back by speaking up, details how Jacob reached out to Athlete Ally (Hudson Taylor’s straight ally group) and Pat Griffin of the GLSEN sports project. He was in the “Changing the Game” documentary made last year.

“I learned that there are people who want to help, who recognize that this is an issue,” says Gardner. “And it happens everywhere.

“We live in a culture that allows for both very accepting and very bigoted people to live in close quarters. It’s similar to the Civil Rights movement.”

Bravo to Jacob for channeling the anger and hurt from being assaulted into something positive and for striving to make a difference.

Hat tip to Jay Original for the story tip.

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Blogger and athlete Robert Scott

Phillip Parker, 14, of Gordonsville, Tenn., killed himself this month, a victim of constant bullying at school, his parents said. “He kept telling me he had a rock on his chest,” said Ruby Harris, Phillip’s grandmother. “He just wanted to take the rock off where he could breathe.” His death stunned his family (750 people attended his funeral) and should outrage us all. It angered Robert Scott, an openly gay high school soccer player in Memphis, who is part of the teen blog BradRobertBen we have written about before.

While [Philip] has passed and will be remembered as another of the wrongly killed students of our time, he has sparked something in me and others alike. We want to lift that rock from his chest – let him breathe freely without others freely bullying students like him.

Robert, 18, linked Philip’s death to a climate of anti-gay hatred in Tennessee, whose legislature might act again on what is called the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. The bill would make it illegal to discuss homosexuality in the classroom before ninth grade. The bill stalled last year but is poised to be reintroduced in the legislature this session. As Robert wrote:

If this is passed then the teaching/discussion of anything other than heterosexual issues in grades K-8 would be unlawful. This is a major setback to anyone determining their own sexuality. It might as well be saying that anyone in grades K-8 who thinks that they may be gay or bisexual should hide it from everyone.

If you think this is wrong, please speak out – at the very least for Phillip.

I am amazed at how far Robert has come in the year since I first met him. He was closeted, out to only a few people, before starting the blog with Ben Newcomer and Brad Usselman. He soon came out to his parents and friends and posted photos of himself on Facebook with his then-boyfriend. He will attend Augustana College this fall and will play soccer.

Through the blog, Robert and Ben (Brad is not an active athlete thus year and not writing there) have helped many other high school athletes wrestling with their sexuality. I have connected several with Robert, knowing they wanted to share with a peer. He has a great head on his shoulders and can relate to what they’re going through. I loved how Robert handled a classmate last fall who was part of a group asking whether he is gay:

Now being the kind of person I am, I enjoy confrontation – however, when I walked over to sharpen my pencil – one of the guys backed away from me like I had some sort of disease. I didn’t like this very much so I asked what his problem was, and he replied with the word ‘fag’ and other expletives. So I smiled at him, walked back to my seat, grabbed my bag, and headed to my English class to recite a memorization. … I left him with no comment but a smile to piss him off even more.

My point here is, even though you can’t always ‘win’ with words, By simply smiling you can make them feel like what they’re doing is truly not affecting you. Would I have loved to punched him in the face and degrade his lack of intelligence? Sure, who wouldn’t; however, it’s better to be mature and walk away because in the end, … I won’t see him but walking in the hallways for the rest of my high school career.

One blog won’t end teen suicides or change the world, but it and others like it have made a difference to some teens who feel a little less lonely and know there are others like them. That counts for something.

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Updated Jan. 13, 10:55amPT

After digging a little, it seems there’s more to the story than was originally released about the pulled California bill that would ensure access to K-12 sports for transgender students. The bill was pulled by lead sponsor Assemblyman Tom Ammiano (right). We had previously reported the reasoning, given by Sacramento based advocate Ben Hudson, as totally insane:

With as much political wrangling that happens, the concern that the right will use the FAIR Education Act against us does a disservice to the students in schools right now.

While Hudson says trans athletes are technically already covered by the law, he also said the law isn’t being interpreted correctly; This new bill would have made it clear.

The National Center for Lesbian Rights contacted us this morning and said it was because of the groundwork they are doing, along with the Transgender Law Center, that drove them to ask the bill be pulled back. NCLR sent this statement:

Today, the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), Equality California (EQCA), and the Transgender Law Center (TLC) released the follow joint statement regarding AB 266, which would create safer and more inclusive schools for transgender children.

“We are very grateful for Assemblymember Tom Ammiano’s leadership and look forward to working with him on this vital bill. NCLR, TLC, and EQCA urged him to hold off on the bill this year because we want the opportunity to do more education with school districts and officials. We are finding that the more people learn about this issue, the more supportive they are.

We look forward to continuing to work closely with Assemblymember Ammiano’s office on this and other bills that advance equality for all members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. Assemblymember Ammiano is an incredible ally and advocate for transgender people, and having his support on this issue will be a huge boost to our efforts.”

I had previously asked this question in this post:

Why is it that transgender people are always the punching bag for gay advocates? Their rights and equality are constantly put on the back burner or left out in the cold…when they’re the people who need the protection most desperately!

It seems that’s not what’s happening. NCLR and TLC wanted more time to work with their increasing number of allies in the high school sports world to lay stronger groundwork and bring in more voices to the bill. NCLR’s Shannon Minter told me they wish they had not pushed for the fast-tracked bill originally, but they were so excited about the prospects of the bill that they possibly rushed to get it written. Instead of going forward with the bill before they have all their ducks in a row and risking disaster at the legislative level, they are asking for an extension on their homework…so they can give the bill all the support it deserves in the future.

Clearly, it would have been better for NCLR and TLC to figure this all out before the bill was introduced. And despite my personal belief that you have to push push push on issues like this, if both NCLR and TLC believe they must wait…then they must wait. Though I hope they don’t wait long. Now that the idea is out there, and a bill has been written, all expectations should be that the bill sees the light of day next year. While transgender youth don’t have the numbers, the discrimination they face is astounding. The allies behind this bill, and all bills against transphobia, have to move forward with haste.

You can donate to NCLR here to make sure they have the resources to do just that.

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Zach is a gay hockey player. He’s been skating since he was a kid and moved up through the ranks from his area’s youth hockey leagues to where he is now, playing D for a perennial powerhouse high school team in the upper Midwest – a program that is no stranger to the playoffs and championships.

Zach is not publicly out, but Craig from Puck Buddys sent me a long email detailing how they confirmed his identity. And there is a chance Zach will be more out as his season progresses.

I like these kinds of features, but I found Part 1 lacking. It is all about Zach’s hockey routine and what hockey means to him. Those are worthy topics, but I wanted to hear about how Zach’s sexual orientation and how it intersects with his sport, his team and his life. They are promising this in future installments, but  this should have been in Part 1 since his being gay is what separates Zach from most of his peers and why Puck Buddys would be interested in his story in the first place.

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The lawsuit claims that the coaches:

1. Called Skye to a fake team meeting
2. Locked Skye in the locker room alone with the coaches
3. Berated Skye about being a lesbian and accused her of spreading gossip about one of the coaches being lesbian
4. Called Skye’s mother to the school and outed Skye to her mother
5. Kicked Skye off the softball team

The School district is mounting a full defense of the coaches’ actions claiming that they followed school policy by outing Skye.

Get the full story from Griffin at her blog.

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The project, called The Last Closet, is looking for a young high school athlete to be part of the project. If you know of anyone who might be interested, please do check out the info below. Thanks!

From the project’s producers:

The producers of The Last Closet, a web campaign and video project in progress, are searching for a young gay athlete (Jr. High or High School) who has dreams of becoming a pro. This young man should be “out” to his friends, family and team.

There has never been, in all of U.S. sports history, a gay athlete in any of the top five sports who has come out publicly while they were playing. Our video project and web campaign is a quest to find out why this is…and a vehicle to pave the way for this historic event to unfold.

Our young athlete would act as co-interviewer with sports columnist Cyd Zeigler on some of our strategic shoots, including the commissioners of all five sports. We have already secured interviews with some well-known athletes and others in the sports world.

The Last Closet is being produced by Woman Vision – producer of ten award winning documentaries, including the Academy Award nominated Straight from the Heart and most recently the highly acclaimed Training Rules.

If you know of anyone fits the description above please contact us at your earliest convenience. You can email Fawn Yacker at TheLastCloset@gmail.com. You can also find them on Twitter.

We are primarily looking for someone located in California or the New York area, but would consider other locations. Thanks for you help!

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Woog offers insights on the impact homophobic slurs have on teens, whether teenage athletes should come out to their teams, and tips on how coaches should handle overt homophobia on their teams and what they can do if they recognize deepening depression in one of their athletes. Woog also talks about the impact on youth soccer of former Major League Soccer player David Testo’s coming out.

Read the whole interview here.

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Hoop Mountain has been tossed from the Stonehill College campus in Easton, Mass., where police are investigating claims two underclassmen were urged by older teammates — two in particular — into playing a game called “wet biscuit” at the camp in early July. The loser of the game was forced to eat an Oreo cookie covered in a bodily fluid.

The bodily fluid that other media outlets seem incapable of mentioning is semen.

One of the students coaxed into the incident had already transfered to another school before the hazing was first reported to a coach on Nov. 11, about four months after the incident occurred. The accused face up to a year in jail and fines of $1,000. The camp has been kicked off the Stonehill College campus.

We constantly hear how important hazing is to building camaraderie on a team or in a fraternity. Would someone please explain to me how forcing someone to eat a semen-covered cookie, having one teammate flee the school, and having nine members of the team either suspended or expelled builds camaraderie?

Hat tip to Yahoo! sports.

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Hytch Cawke might be the worst porn name in history. Somewhere Anthony Perkins is rolling in his grave.

Not only that, but in one of his videos, Cawke pretends to be straight. “Hi I’m Hytch. I just answered an ad and now I’m here to see what it’s like to be with a guy.” Bwahahahahahahaha!!

I actually appreciated that Fox 25 didn’t make the story about Hogan doing gay porn. They showed a couple PG-rated porn-flick shots and mentioned the titles of two of his movies, but they didn’t use the “gay porn” angle to hype the story, only that it was “porn.” Fox isn’t known for its sensitive handling of gay issues, but somebody there clearly decided the fact that it was gay porn simply wasn’t relevant, and I appreciate that.

Part of me doesn’t see what the big deal is anyway. Porn isn’t illegal, it isn’t bad, and most high school students know what sex is. Hogan is no threat to any of his students. And if my child were one of Hogan’s students, I’d use this as a great opportunity to talk to him or her about sex and pornography. These topics are so under-discussed in American households; What a great chance to change that trend.

Most of me thinks Hogan has to be a complete idiot to have gone down this road. Most of American parents think teenagers need to be protected from sex, not confronted with it in English class and in after-school sports. The parents interviewed by Fox all felt this was totally inappropriate. Whether that’s right or not is kind of irrelevant because that’s reality.

Hogan’s biggest mistake: Not telling the school that just hired him in September. When this is floating around the Internet, and one of your movies is carried in a local video store, you are begging to be fired when somebody finds out. Whether it’s in sports, politics, or education…the cover-up always makes the “crime” worse. And one of the movies was reportedly just released last year!

And let’s be clear about what we’re talking about. His three movie titles are: ‘Just Gone Gay 8,’ ‘Fetish World 1,’ and…brace yourself…’Ass Fucked by a DILF 2′ (in which he is the DILF). When you’re a high school teacher and coach and you’re shooting pornographic movies like this, either you’re begging to be fired…or you’re an idiot.

Let me be super clear about this, for those readers with reading comprehension issues. I am not anti-porn. I am not anti-gay. I think we protect teenagers from conversations about sex way too much. But in today’s society, reality is that of all the professions you can pull off while shooting porn…teaching is second-to-last and coaching is last.

The school has put Hogan on paid leave. That is a stepping stone to his firing, I’m sure. I can’t say he deserves to be fired, but I also can’t say he deserves to keep his job. The guy can’t be the brightest bulb in the lamp given these missteps. I’d love to see Hogan keep his job, but I’m not holding out hope.

Hytch. Cawke. Bwahahahahahaha!

Public high school teacher starred in porno movies released last year: MyFoxBOSTON.com

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