Quarterback Cohner Mokry stands up to bullies

For all those people who still think every football player is a bullying thug, check out this fantastic story from Claudia Taylor Johnson High School in San Antonio, Texas. A student there was being bullied last autumn, and the bullies wouldn’t stop. Counselor Carri Elliott asked the football coach to find some footballers to help protect the bullied teen. From the San Antonio Express-News:

Though they didn’t know the freshman, quarterback Cohner Mokry, now 17, right guard Ryder Burke, 18, and right tackle Austin Carson, 18, soon had his schedule memorized. The three seniors would leave class a couple of minutes early to meet the boy outside his classroom and chat with him as he got to his next class.

“He was so by himself,” Burke said. “Us three were already great friends and … he just got tossed into the mix.”

The three football players confronted the bullies…and soon the boy was part of the football players’ group of friends. While the boy has moved away from the school (not because of the bullying), the school has expanded the program to protect more and more bullied students.

By November, the seniors had ended the bullying so effectively that Elliott expanded the Bully Guards to include nine more football players and four other tormented students. Next year, 18 football players will help eight incoming freshmen, she said.

Mokry happens to be a pretty good quarterback. You can see in his recruiting video that he can throw a nice ball and also run 60 yards for a touchdown, pulling away from the safety. We’ll have to keep an eye on this great kid.

Read the full story from the San Antonio Express-News.

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I was an odd creature in high school because I was a target but also I was popular, and that’s because on the sly, I was dating a lot of the football players.

“A lot of the football players?” I’d consider “a lot” to be like six or seven. So Murphy wants us to believe he was dating six or seven football players when he was in high school in the early 1980s? One football player I can believe. But once you get past two he loses all credibility…and “two” is not “a lot.”

In case you hadn’t noticed, guys are pretty territorial when it comes to dating. You look at somebody’s “woman” the wrong way and you’ll get punched in the face. Yet Murphy wants everyone to believe he went from player to player? Or maybe he’s saying the football team passed him around like a peace pipe? It’s just not believable.

Maybe Murphy is confusing reality with fantasy…or wishful thinking.

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Check out the cool video below. If only my high school did something remotely like this when I was a kid… 

Hat tip to The Advocate.

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While it’s got a world-class director, the writing and acting leave a bit to be desired. Still, with so few stories of gay athletes told on film, we’ll take it. You can watch the 15-minute film below.

Hat tip to Towleroad.

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It is moving and also practical and well worth your time:

Dear Little Andrew,

By now you probably have concluded that you aren’t like the other kids. You’re different. You’re gay and it’s okay. First of all, you were born gay. There is nothing you can say or do to be straight you can act straight and spend lots of time and effort to convince others you are straight but you are just lying to yourself and others. The greatest good you can do is be yourself, because all the people that don’t like who you are don’t matter. Fuck the haters. You don’t have to come out right away but you can stop convincing yourself that conforming to everyone else in middle/high school will help you survive it. Being different is a great gift it makes you interesting and stand out from people.

Stop fearing the gay community and your future in it. The parades, “flamers”, and all that pride are not bad things. You will find that the gay community has some of the nicest people you will know be it LGBT people or those who support us. They are friends who will like you for you, embrace it. Also stop hating on the “flamers” although you may not feel and act the way you do and you don’t appreciate the stereotypes they bring, they are human too, respect that.

Focus on what is really important. I know people have been “dating” from 5th grade to now, but being gay is different. For one, you can’t expect to get a boyfriend without being out, plus even if you are out not many others are. Gay relationships are rare at young ages and if you do happen to get one appreciate it. However, relationships aren’t the most important thing to worry about and get hung up on. You have talents, hobbies, sports, school, and friends to focus on. They are dependable and useful and ultimately your safest bet to succeed in life.

Surround yourself with the right friends who will support you. There’s not much of a point in befriending that really homophobic kid that trash talks gays all the time. Find the good ones that support gay rights and ultimately the true you. Also, you’ll be surprised how many of the kids these days really do support LGBT. Change is happening!

Lastly, I can’t stress this enough. Love yourself. You are perfect the way you are, hold on to your uniqueness and appreciate it. Any obstacle you face can be overcome, there will always be tomorrow so keep calm and carry on.

Sincerely,
Older Andrew

On a more humorous note, check out Andrew’s Gay Ten Commandments.

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Jacob Gardner (Photo by Peter Hvizdak/Register)

Two years ago, Jacob Gardner of Madison, Conn., was walking on the track before a high school track meet when he was hit in the head by a rock thrown by a teammate who said he did it because Jacob is gay. A great story in the Shorline (Conn.) Times relates that this has a happy ending, making Jacob an advocate for other gay teens and athletes.

“It was an awakening,” says Gardner, 17, now a junior. “I had been bullied and teased in middle school, but once I got to the high school, everything had settled down. I even dared to join an athletic team.

“When I joined the cross-country team, I realized I couldn’t have chosen a better team to participate with. I was treated like one of the guys. People weren’t saying nasty things to me in the hallways anymore. I was in a passive state of feeling that things were getting better. And then that happened.”

The boy who threw the rock was booed by the rest of the team the next day and kicked off the team and the school gave Jacob and his parents their support.

“Life can be difficult for gay athletes,” he says. “In sports, especially for boys, athletes are portrayed as hyper-masculine. The stereotype for gays is effeminate and wimpy.

“For some athletes, coming out to their team is very hard. There are some people who still are not OK with it, and sometimes in sports, the person who is not OK with it might be the person who is running into you.”

The story, which is a nice story about a person who decided to fight back by speaking up, details how Jacob reached out to Athlete Ally (Hudson Taylor’s straight ally group) and Pat Griffin of the GLSEN sports project. He was in the “Changing the Game” documentary made last year.

“I learned that there are people who want to help, who recognize that this is an issue,” says Gardner. “And it happens everywhere.

“We live in a culture that allows for both very accepting and very bigoted people to live in close quarters. It’s similar to the Civil Rights movement.”

Bravo to Jacob for channeling the anger and hurt from being assaulted into something positive and for striving to make a difference.

Hat tip to Jay Original for the story tip.

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Blogger and athlete Robert Scott

Phillip Parker, 14, of Gordonsville, Tenn., killed himself this month, a victim of constant bullying at school, his parents said. “He kept telling me he had a rock on his chest,” said Ruby Harris, Phillip’s grandmother. “He just wanted to take the rock off where he could breathe.” His death stunned his family (750 people attended his funeral) and should outrage us all. It angered Robert Scott, an openly gay high school soccer player in Memphis, who is part of the teen blog BradRobertBen we have written about before.

While [Philip] has passed and will be remembered as another of the wrongly killed students of our time, he has sparked something in me and others alike. We want to lift that rock from his chest – let him breathe freely without others freely bullying students like him.

Robert, 18, linked Philip’s death to a climate of anti-gay hatred in Tennessee, whose legislature might act again on what is called the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. The bill would make it illegal to discuss homosexuality in the classroom before ninth grade. The bill stalled last year but is poised to be reintroduced in the legislature this session. As Robert wrote:

If this is passed then the teaching/discussion of anything other than heterosexual issues in grades K-8 would be unlawful. This is a major setback to anyone determining their own sexuality. It might as well be saying that anyone in grades K-8 who thinks that they may be gay or bisexual should hide it from everyone.

If you think this is wrong, please speak out – at the very least for Phillip.

I am amazed at how far Robert has come in the year since I first met him. He was closeted, out to only a few people, before starting the blog with Ben Newcomer and Brad Usselman. He soon came out to his parents and friends and posted photos of himself on Facebook with his then-boyfriend. He will attend Augustana College this fall and will play soccer.

Through the blog, Robert and Ben (Brad is not an active athlete thus year and not writing there) have helped many other high school athletes wrestling with their sexuality. I have connected several with Robert, knowing they wanted to share with a peer. He has a great head on his shoulders and can relate to what they’re going through. I loved how Robert handled a classmate last fall who was part of a group asking whether he is gay:

Now being the kind of person I am, I enjoy confrontation – however, when I walked over to sharpen my pencil – one of the guys backed away from me like I had some sort of disease. I didn’t like this very much so I asked what his problem was, and he replied with the word ‘fag’ and other expletives. So I smiled at him, walked back to my seat, grabbed my bag, and headed to my English class to recite a memorization. … I left him with no comment but a smile to piss him off even more.

My point here is, even though you can’t always ‘win’ with words, By simply smiling you can make them feel like what they’re doing is truly not affecting you. Would I have loved to punched him in the face and degrade his lack of intelligence? Sure, who wouldn’t; however, it’s better to be mature and walk away because in the end, … I won’t see him but walking in the hallways for the rest of my high school career.

One blog won’t end teen suicides or change the world, but it and others like it have made a difference to some teens who feel a little less lonely and know there are others like them. That counts for something.

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Updated Jan. 13, 10:55amPT

After digging a little, it seems there’s more to the story than was originally released about the pulled California bill that would ensure access to K-12 sports for transgender students. The bill was pulled by lead sponsor Assemblyman Tom Ammiano (right). We had previously reported the reasoning, given by Sacramento based advocate Ben Hudson, as totally insane:

With as much political wrangling that happens, the concern that the right will use the FAIR Education Act against us does a disservice to the students in schools right now.

While Hudson says trans athletes are technically already covered by the law, he also said the law isn’t being interpreted correctly; This new bill would have made it clear.

The National Center for Lesbian Rights contacted us this morning and said it was because of the groundwork they are doing, along with the Transgender Law Center, that drove them to ask the bill be pulled back. NCLR sent this statement:

Today, the National Center for Lesbian Rights (NCLR), Equality California (EQCA), and the Transgender Law Center (TLC) released the follow joint statement regarding AB 266, which would create safer and more inclusive schools for transgender children.

“We are very grateful for Assemblymember Tom Ammiano’s leadership and look forward to working with him on this vital bill. NCLR, TLC, and EQCA urged him to hold off on the bill this year because we want the opportunity to do more education with school districts and officials. We are finding that the more people learn about this issue, the more supportive they are.

We look forward to continuing to work closely with Assemblymember Ammiano’s office on this and other bills that advance equality for all members of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community. Assemblymember Ammiano is an incredible ally and advocate for transgender people, and having his support on this issue will be a huge boost to our efforts.”

I had previously asked this question in this post:

Why is it that transgender people are always the punching bag for gay advocates? Their rights and equality are constantly put on the back burner or left out in the cold…when they’re the people who need the protection most desperately!

It seems that’s not what’s happening. NCLR and TLC wanted more time to work with their increasing number of allies in the high school sports world to lay stronger groundwork and bring in more voices to the bill. NCLR’s Shannon Minter told me they wish they had not pushed for the fast-tracked bill originally, but they were so excited about the prospects of the bill that they possibly rushed to get it written. Instead of going forward with the bill before they have all their ducks in a row and risking disaster at the legislative level, they are asking for an extension on their homework…so they can give the bill all the support it deserves in the future.

Clearly, it would have been better for NCLR and TLC to figure this all out before the bill was introduced. And despite my personal belief that you have to push push push on issues like this, if both NCLR and TLC believe they must wait…then they must wait. Though I hope they don’t wait long. Now that the idea is out there, and a bill has been written, all expectations should be that the bill sees the light of day next year. While transgender youth don’t have the numbers, the discrimination they face is astounding. The allies behind this bill, and all bills against transphobia, have to move forward with haste.

You can donate to NCLR here to make sure they have the resources to do just that.

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Zach is a gay hockey player. He’s been skating since he was a kid and moved up through the ranks from his area’s youth hockey leagues to where he is now, playing D for a perennial powerhouse high school team in the upper Midwest – a program that is no stranger to the playoffs and championships.

Zach is not publicly out, but Craig from Puck Buddys sent me a long email detailing how they confirmed his identity. And there is a chance Zach will be more out as his season progresses.

I like these kinds of features, but I found Part 1 lacking. It is all about Zach’s hockey routine and what hockey means to him. Those are worthy topics, but I wanted to hear about how Zach’s sexual orientation and how it intersects with his sport, his team and his life. They are promising this in future installments, but  this should have been in Part 1 since his being gay is what separates Zach from most of his peers and why Puck Buddys would be interested in his story in the first place.

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The lawsuit claims that the coaches:

1. Called Skye to a fake team meeting
2. Locked Skye in the locker room alone with the coaches
3. Berated Skye about being a lesbian and accused her of spreading gossip about one of the coaches being lesbian
4. Called Skye’s mother to the school and outed Skye to her mother
5. Kicked Skye off the softball team

The School district is mounting a full defense of the coaches’ actions claiming that they followed school policy by outing Skye.

Get the full story from Griffin at her blog.

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