A commercial for the “reinvented” Toyota Camry reinvented Super Bowl advertising with what may be the first gay-friendly moment in a game spot. One character, an awkward guy, seems as accepting of finding seven hunks in his living room as he is of finding seven babes.

It also can be seen as the first bisexual-friendly Super Bowl ad.

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Dundes, who died in 2005, was a legend in the field of folklore and explored the hidden meaning in all kinds of jokes. I heard him speak while I was an undergrad at Penn State about his football as a homoerotic rite theory (having read the paper in my sociology class). In the audience were many members of the Penn State football team, many of whom had blood in their eyes as Dundes went on equating football slang with gay sex. The article in Time resulted in Dundes getting death threats. Dundes’ paper is a rollicking look at how closely football and its language and goals mirrors sex. Dundes quotes Dave Kopay (the first openly gay NFL player), who wrote this in his book, “The David Kopay Story.”

The whole language of football is involved in sexual allusions. We were told to go out and “fuck those guys”; to take that ball and stick it up their asses”or “down their throats.”The coaches would yell,”knock their dicks off,” or more often than that,”knock their jocks off.” They’d say,”Go out there and give it all you’ve got,a hundred and ten percent, shoot your wad. You controlled their line and “knocked” ‘em into submission. Over the years I’ve seen many a coach get emotionally aroused while he was diagramming a particular play into an imaginary hole on the blackboard. His face red, his voice rising, he would show the ball carrier how he wanted him to” stick it in the hole.”

Some of my favorites from Dundes’ paper (you can read the whole thing here):

• The object of the game, simply stated, is to  get into the opponent’s end zone while preventing the opponent from getting into one’s own end zone. … We can now better understand the appropriateness of the “bottom patting” so often observed among football players. A good offensive or defensive play deserves a pat on the rear end. The recipient has held up his end and has thereby helped protect the collective “end” of the entire team. One pats one’s teammates’ ends, but one seeks to violate the end zone of one’s opponents! …

• Certainly the terminology used in football is suggestive. One gains yardage,but it is not territory which is kept in the sense of being permanently acquired by the invading team.The territory invaded remains nominally under the proprietorship of the opponent. A sports announcer or fan might say, for example, “This is the deepest penetration into (opponent’s team name) territory so far.”

• The trust one has for one’s own teammates is perhaps signalled by the common postural stance of football players. The so-called three-point stance involves bending over in a distinct stooped position with one’s rear end exposed. It is an unusual position and it does make one especially vulnerable to attack from behind, that is,vulnerable to a homosexual attack. … Since one can trust one’s teammates, one knows that one will be patted, not raped.

• “The end zone is a kind of erogenous zone.”

• “Both tight end and split end could easily be understood as possessing an erotic nuance.”

• The object of the game is to “score,”a term which in standard slang means to engage in sexual intercourse with a member of the opposite sex. One “scores” by going” all the way.” The offensive team may try to mount a drive to penetrate the other team’s territory.

• The sexual connotations of football folk speech apply equally to players on defense. One goal of the defensive line is to penetrate the offensive line to get to the quarterback. Getting to the quarterback and bringing him down to the ground is termed “sacking” the quarterback. The verb “sack” connotes plunder, ravage, and perhaps even rape.

• Thus in the beginning of the football game, we have two sets or teams of males. By the end of the game, one of the teams is “on top,” namely the one which has “scored” most by getting into the other team’s “end zone.” The losing team, if the scoring differential is great, maybe said to have been “creamed.”

• I think it is highly likely that the ritual aspect of football, providing as it does a socially sanctioned framework for male body contact … is a form of homosexual behavior. The unequivocal sexual symbolism of the game, as plainly evidenced in folk speech coupled with the fact that all of the participants are male, make it difficult to draw any other conclusion. Sexual acts carried out in thinly disguised symbolic form by,and directed towards, males and males only,would seem to constitute ritual homosexuality.

After reading Dundes, you might never watch football the same way. Enjoy the game!

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This week, I was talking at a school with an emerging group of interested lacrosse players, and I brought up the idea of recruiting openly gay/lesbian athletes from other sports, and from within the community, to help grow the game. To be honest, I really wasn’t thinking it would garner the response that it did.  The response to my suggestion went something like this:

“You’re kidding right!? LOL, I don’t think the guys would approve.”

That ONE comment literally made me question EVERYTHING.  Since when do “the guys” need to approve anyone’s effort to Grow The Game?  Since when are we excluding people because “the group” that already exists might not approve?  WHY would you want to Grow The Game AND keep people out of it?  The hypocrisy was staggering.

Lacrosse’s “bro culture” seems to be a cross between surfer dudes and Hacky Sack punks. Tracking down the term in Urban Dictionary confirmed my initial thought:

A lax bro is a guy who plays lacrosse and fully embraces the culture. Commonly found in Maryland, many also spend their time outside laxin’ going to Catholic schools and boating. … Lax bros will often get together for a lax sesh, which usually includes the following: some brews, some bowls, babes, Dispatch, O.A.R., hemp anklets, board shorts, lax jerseys, polos, Madras clothing, Rainbow flip flops, and sometimes Lilly Pulitzer. Many lax bros have long hair and join fraternities in college.

We’ve talked before about the surprising homophobia found in the surfer-dude culture; Sounds like it may be alive and well in the lax-bro culture too. In the surfing world it in part comes from being naked or nearly naked with other guys, and even the presence of some sexual experimentation with one another. As long as gays aren’t allowed, no one’s gay: They’re just “checking things out, dude.”

Coincidentally, his story was published about the same time as we published our recent story about Andrew Goldstein. Luckily, he and Andrew McIntosh found very little homophobia in the lacrosse world. To an extent, cultures like “lax bro” are outwardly homophobic until they are face-to-face with the issue. When a good friend or teammate comes out, the guys rally around him. After all, that’s what “bros” are for.

A pretty fun send-up of the “lax bro” culture:

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Beckham and his in-house creative team helped to design the collection, comprised of briefs, boxers, T-shirts, pajamas, vests and long johns. The line will be available at 1,800 H&M stores and online beginning Feb. 2, 2012.

“Working with a team has always been a key part of my life and I found that to be the same when developing this range. Collectively with my design team we spent time working on the feel, fit and style to ensure the product is not only something I would wear but one which I would be proud to put my name to,” David said in a statement. “I always want to challenge myself and this was such a rewarding experience for me. I’m very happy with the end result and I hope H&M’s male customers will be as excited as I am.”

Beckham, 36, has announced he will be coming back to play for the L.A. Galaxy in Major League Soccer.

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Cadet Elijah shows his abs

Two weeks ago, we reported on a fun and cool video of Air Force Academy cadets doing a shirtless lip-synch in their underwear to the song “I’m Sexy and I Know It.” The song was their entry for a “spirit” video prior to the Nov. 5 college football game against Army, but was banned by academy as being “inappropriate.” Now, the video has been removed from the site that posted it after it got widespread links from gay websites.

Outsports was the catalyst for the heavy linking. In the days after we first posted it, the video was mentioned on numerous gay website. Sites with heavy traffic like Towleroad and Dan Savage also picked up the video and they caused the view count on the YouTube page to leap in a day. Then reader Warren C. E. Austin noticed something last week:

This video has apparently been taken “private” and therefore out-of-bounds; nor, are Six Star Productions continuing to host it; nor, are they making any mention of it on their channel at YouTube; censorship apparently having done its’ job.

He’s right. The video is marked “private” and there is no way of knowing exactly how many views it has gotten. It might just be coincidental that the video disappeared just when it was getting wide play on gay websites (all of which loved it). But just days prior to Outsports linking to it, smaller gay sites had linked to the same video posted on another YouTube account that is still active.

In November, four of the cadets went on a show hosted by Gayle Bass of RightThisMinute.com, where they talked about why the video was made and where Bass asked them “who has better abs, the Air Force or the Army?” These guys seemed to love the attention, especially the tight-bodied Elijah who is the star of the video.

It’s not clear who ordered the video yanked. The cadets clearly enjoyed doing it and talking about it to the mainstream media. But someone noticed the gays were also enjoying it and that weirded that someone out. But never fear. Another YouTube user (apparently from Russia or somewhere they they use the Cyrillic alphabet) has saved it for your viewing pleasure and I doubt anyone from the Air Force can get this one yanked:

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While it would certainly be a stretch to say that Spike TV’s Blue Mountain State is free from stereotypical gay jokes and gay panic humor, it probably is fair to say that it’s far, far better than many of us expected when it debuted two years ago. Indeed, the show about a group of not very bright college football players, has actually managed to often be wildly homoerotic, while also managing to avoid coming off as blatantly homophobic. Sometimes it’s even gay-friendly.

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Seattle long snapper Clint Gresham wasn’t feeling all that comfortable and just had to do a reach in, grab and adjust. We’ve all been there, but we all haven’t had Texas Daytripper there to record the moment:

Screen caps:

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Denver's Eric Decker was not part of the survey

There is a fun, but utterly meaningless piece in today’s Wall Street Journal that attempts to rate the attractiveness of all 32 NFL teams. The no-duh revelation is that NFL players are overall better looking than the general population. And it found the Buffalo Bills the best looking team, with the Kansas City the least good looking.

At the Journal’s request, researchers at Ursinus College in Pennsylvania analyzed the facial structure of a sampling of 320 NFL starters (five offensive and five defensive players from each team). They also threw in two of the most photographed personalities on any team, the owner and the head coach.

To measure each subject’s attractiveness, the researchers analyzed their photograph with a computer program that measures facial symmetry, or how closely the two halves of a person’s face match up. Research suggests this is a reliable measure of how attractive a person is perceived to be. It also suggests that looks are a fair predictor of a person’s career success. A 1994 study found that more-attractive “symmetrical” people are paid about 5% more than the average person while more homely “asymmetrical” people earn up to 10% less.

Using the methodology, the study found that kickers, not quarterbacks, are the most attractive. I’ve felt that for years. The biggest flaw in the study is that it looked only at 10 players from each team, and only the big names or starters (the list of players from every team is behind a pay wall, so can’t link). For example, the list of Denver Broncos did not include either Brady Quinn or Eric Decker. The latter was voted by Outsports’ readers as the world’s hottest athlete.

The funniest part of the story came with the revelation that some owners and coaches rated as more attractive than their players:

Facial symmetry does not change with age, which is why 59-year-old Buffalo Bills head coach Chan Gailey is more attractive than many players. “My wife will be shocked,” said Mr. Gailey, through a team spokesman.

Who do you think are the NFL’s hottest players and teams?

Hat tip to Brent.

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Start typing in “Jake Shields” into Google and the second recommendation is “Jake Shields gay.” “Georges St. Pierre gay” yields several pages of search results. The humorous part of this is how flimsy the “evidence” is and that it says a lot about stereotypes.

Jake Shields is gay, apparently, since photos surfaced of him looking like he and a dude were giving each other tongue baths. That’s it. Some photos in a club. As for St. Pierre, his gayness comes from having a French Canadian accent and being hot and into fashion. Under that criteria, a lot of guys in Montreal are gay.

These rumor threads are fairly common on many MMA sites, but what I find heartening is how they mostly elicit a  shrug or some funny comments, nothing really homophobic. One guy said he was straight but that he would “go gay for GSP.” And the majority of people say they really don’t care.

Stereotypes by their nature have some truth to them, and mixed martial arts by its nature lends itself to certain assumptions. As DJ wrote about the sport’s homoerotic appeal: “Where else could you get another man’s crotch shoved in your face all the while entertaining millions?” Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

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These shots don’t do much for me. It’s almost as if they’ve prettified and homogenized Youngquest; in some shots they have airbrushed out his tattoos, so there’s a real artificiality to them. One example from the A&F spread and one example of Youngquest looking a whole lot hotter:

A&F:

The more natural Nick:

Which do you prefer?

Hat tip to VGL Men, where you can see more of the A&F shots.

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