Before you roll your eyes and dismiss this as another anti-Tebow snark piece, it isn’t. In fact, it’s honestly made me rethink everything I’ve said about him.

There is no denying that Tim Tebow is one of the top sports stories of the year, in part because of the Broncos’ turnaround, in part because of his zealous religious practices, and in part because he looks like such an awful quarterback…but still wins.

A recent ESPN poll claims that Tebow is America’s favorite athlete. He won the poll with a whopping 3% of the vote, so it doesn’t translate very well into that claim; My guess is he’d also win the same poll asking fans whom their least-favorite athlete is. Still, there’s no doubt Tebow is a big, popular story in America and his popularity as an athlete is skyrocketing.

As that story has built over the last couple of months, and as Tebow and the Broncos have become one of the top stories in the NFL, the question I’ve gotten asked more and more, leading up to this week when I’ve seen the question flood onto my phone and email inbox:

Is Tim Tebow gay?

I’m not a big fan of speculating about people’s sexual orientation, particularly athletes. I’ve heard wishful-thinking “rumors” about more athletes than I could fit in Mile High. But with Tebow, even Deadspin is wondering, with their Wednesday headline, “What if Tim Tebow were gay?” In non-Deadspin fashion, Drew Magary put aside the snark for a moment and analyzed what would happen if the man-of-the-hour was in fact gay.

It’s a hard truth that the most religious guy on your block is the one most likely to be sneaking out to truck stops at 3 a.m. so he can greedily lap up every last ounce of redneck jizz caked on the bathroom stall partition. Anyway, if Tebow were gay, a couple of things would happen. First off, Mike Silver would die from excitement. Secondly, Tebow would have an incredible opportunity to bridge the persistent divide in this nation between evangelical Christians and the gay community. I mean, honestly: It’s time for this matter to be settled. Tebow could get his followers to be more accepting of gays, and he could get filthy liberals to be more accepting of evangelicals. I think he and Von Miller would make the cutest gay couple ever.

That argument — it’s often the loudest preachers who are gay — is rooted in some pretty substantial history. Ted Haggard, the evangelical pastor who hired a male prostitute over the course of several years, is possibly the most glaring example.

When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I was a devout Christian. I went to church every Sunday, read the Bible, and prayed every night. Every single night. I swore, like Tebow, that I wouldn’t have sex until I married. My first long-term girlfriend was even more hardcore Christian than I was. It was easy hiding my sexual orientation behind my religion. God said I can’t have sex, so I can’t have sex.

It’s not a gay thing, it’s a God thing.

It wasn’t until I was 21 that I had sexual contact with anyone else; It wasn’t until I was 22 that I’d try to “stumble” into bathrooms on campus where it was rumored gay sex occurred.

Tebow, like myself 20 years ago, has said he’s committed to no sex until he’s married. Outsports reader John Armstrong reflected on Tebow’s commitment to chastity:

You are aware that Tim Tebow is a flaming homosexual, right? Hmmm…I hate myself for being gay and a fundie, so what can I do? I know; I’ll super-achieve in a sport where I can be around men. How can I be very attractive and successful and still be a virgin and nobody scratches heads? I know; I’ll flaunt my religion.

Tim Tebow has one purpose on earth: To reconcile homosexuality and religion. When he comes out, the world changes.

But there’s more to the “Tim Tebow gay” speculation than just the religious aspect.

Certainly there are many gay men who don’t fall into certain stereotypes; Stereotypes are by no means a de facto indicator of sexual orientation. But I’ve found over time there are few straight men who do fall into them. So when I see a video like this, it really gives me pause:

A friend simply texted: “Omg have u seen tebow interview…Oh lord.”

A straight sports commentator called me this week with the same reaction to Tebow’s post-Steelers press conference.

Again, not every gay man flails his hands and talks with a slight lisp…there are just very few straight men who do. And seeing that video just…well…sue me, it does make me wonder.

Then there’s this photo flying around the Internet, which leaves people wondering:

And this one…

In fact, when you Google “Tim Tebow kiss,” no pictures of him with girls come up in the first couple hundred results…but him kissing and hugging men are aplenty.

I got an email the other day from a friend, Brian Taylor, who says Tebow has another strong “tell” that he’s gay:

It involves thumbs being tucked in, underneath the index finger. Anyhow, Tim Tebow has this tell. It’s actually not even one tell for him. He has many. And the first chapter of his biography is about Uncle Dick — who is most definitely a gay single guy who grew up next-door to him. He was and remains a hero of Tim’s.

I don’t know about his thumbs and index fingers, but the email shows how deeply people are thinking about the sexual orientation of this fascinating athlete. And to be sure, our actions, mannerisms and facial expressions reveal more about us than we intend. According to Taylor, who wrote a study titled, Anatomy of discrimination: sexual orientation and nonverbal behaviors in dyadic interactions, both psychologist Paul Ekman and former FBI agent Joe Navarro have demonstrated over and over that how you move, e.g., flailing your arms as you talk, can convey sexual orientation.

I have no idea if Tebow is gay. But this has all left me thinking…what if he really is? For real.

Kinda makes me feel like a schmuck.

All that pious religious bullshit he spews…at the end of the day, that’s not him. That’s what his parents and his pastors have drilled into his head from the day he was born. The kid doesn’t even know who he really is. When you’re indoctrinated with religion from birth, and you commit your life to the all-consuming sport of football, there isn’t much time left for true self-discovery. If he is in fact gay, he may not know it. Even if he does, chances are slim he’d be comfortable telling his mother…or pastor…let alone us.

If Tebow is gay, he is buried beneath so much crap he many never get out from under it. Instead of attacking him for it, maybe reaching out a helpful hand would be nice. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a crappy quarterback. But all that “my lord and savior Jesus Christ” stuff…could be Tebow’s cry for help.

So I’m gonna lay off Tim a little. If he is in fact gay, and if he does in fact ever figure that out, he’s going to need all the support he can get.

Photo from Tebow’s Jockey underwear campaign.

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This time they have Kim Kardashian labeling her soon-to-be-ex-husband, NBA player Kris Humphries, gay. The tell-tale signs? He dresses well…he gets his nails done…and he shaves guys’ armpits! Isn’t that what all gay men do? I mean, those three things alone…if you add in “wants to spend time with a Kardashian” it’s just a recipe for gay! gay! GAY!

For more “Kris is gay” gossip from star, head over the BoyCulture or Star magazine.

Hat tip to Towleroad.

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While the shirtless pictures are indeed Selby, SportsGrid dissects the clearly fabricated email exchange posted by the gossip sites:

The emails are dated February 4th, 2011. The Twitter account which fake Selby is encouraged to follow by the guy he’s emailing was created on August 21, 2011, meaning that fake Selby is being encouraged to follow a Twitter account which has not yet been created.

Selby himself Tweeted on the genesis of the false rumor:

Yet another reason to stop the gay rumor-mongering: Despite the claims of some readers on this Web site, most rumors are completely false. These black gossip sites seem to be even worse about false rumors, and far more nasty, than gay sites. The blogger who started the rumor says to Selby that shirtless photos sent to “another dude” are “Not A Good Way To Start Your NBA Career.” Disgusting.

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Baseball, 2002. In the June/July 2002 issue of Details magazine, then-New York Mets manager Bobby Valentine said he believed baseball was ready for an openly gay player. The New York Post, as they so often do, ran with it and wondered aloud if Valentine’s remarks were preparing everyone for one of his own players to come out. From the May 20, 2002 New York Post:

There is a persistent rumor around town that one Mets star who spends a lot of time with pretty models in clubs is actually gay and has started to think about declaring his sexual orientation.

Amidst swirling rumors that the gay player is him, the next day New York Met catcher  Mike Piazza held a press conference to declare, “I’m not gay. I’m heterosexual.” And in doing so made many think he is in fact gay.

Piazza’s comments that day were actually rather respectful. He agreed with Valentine that baseball players, nine years ago, would accept a gay teammate:

In this day and age, it’s irrelevant. I don’t think it would be a problem at all.

Yet many people, particularly gay people, took offense. Whether Piazza’s comments were supportive or not, the implication to many was that being called gay was deemed so bad that you had to clear up the rumor. Either way, it’s hard to claim the press conference did more good than harm. “He plays for the Mets” quickly became shorthand for “he’s gay.” And the Piazza-gay rumors only intensified after the press conference. To this day, many think Piazza is gay based exclusively on that press conference; One mainstream sports Web site said in 2004: “When we think of gay athletes, the first one who comes to mind is Mike Piazza, then there is Olympic gold medalist diver, Greg Louganis.” Interestingly, Piazza’s Wikipedia page has been stripped of any reference to the controversy.

Piazza married a woman in 2005 and retired from baseball on May 20, 2008, six years to the day after the New York Post‘s blind item ran.

For more information:

• Associated Press’ article on Piazza’s announcement
• Outsports: Is there a gay New York Met?

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“When a guy like that comes out and, whether it’s intimated or stated and there’s no substance to that claim, and he’s doing it purely to gain interest in a book, that’s a problem,” Aikman said.

He talked about not seeing Bayless since 1995, wondered aloud if Bayless himself is gay, and said he just didn’t know what he’d say to Bayless if he saw him again. McDowell said Aikman didn’t seem angry, and you can hear in the audio recording (below) his pretty even tone. Aikman’s comments tell us he despises Bayless, not gay people.

Yet many gay commentors immediately took to the Internet to spread nasty, mean-spirited venom at Aikman. While Andy Towle took the high road and reported the straight news, his readers called Aikman a “fag,” “loser,” “self-loathing,” “closet case,” “pathetic,” and saying “everybody in Dallas” knows Aikman is gay.

If Aikman had said something anti-gay, I wouldn’t blame him.

When I was in fourth grade, I had a crush on Jennifer Holden… but a girl named Donnella Carter had a crush on me. One day Donella tried to kiss me and I refused. That afternoon I first heard the word, “gay,” and it was directed right at me. The next morning I came into school and this word popped up all day long. All through middle school and high school, I was labelled gay. I heard it daily. I came to resent it over the years and became increasingly homophobic as I learned what the word meant. As I began to realize in junior high school that I might be exactly what these kids were calling me, the bullying rumors pushed me deep into the closet.

For years figure skater Scott Hamilton was assumed to be gay. He too heard it for years. In an often-labeled “gay” sport like figure skating, it was tough for Hamilton to get away from the rumors. Despite marrying a woman and having children with her (which many gay people will quickly remind you “proves nothing”), it persisted. Not surprisingly, a chip grew on Hamilton’s shoulder, and the Olympic gold medalist has made not-so-gay-friendly comments over the years.

Whether it’s Aikman, Hamilton or myself, nobody likes being bullied with rumors of any sort. Some rumor targets take it out on the bullies, as did the young men who opened fire on Columbine High School in 1999. Some people take it out on themselves, as did Rutgers student Tyler Clementi in 2010. Either way, they take it out on someone.

With all the gay rumors we as a community spread, at some point we need to accept responsibility when they take it out on us. And while Bayless has become the face of this rumor, it like so many others has lived and breathed because the “gay community” wants it to.

Despite the current vogue push against bullying, the “gay community” has for years used the same fear-mongering we see in homophobic bullying. Just look at the nasty attack-of-words It Gets Better creator Dan Savage consistently wages against those who disagree with him. We often use the “gay” label as a weapon, whether it’s against celebrities or even friends. Just this past weekend a friend of mine tried to insult someone at a dinner party by calling him “a big old bottom.” While “bottom” isn’t synonymous with gay, the implication that gay is “less than” is crystal clear.

Enter Troy Aikman. The man was the No. 1 overall pick in the NFL Draft. He was a six-time Pro Bowler, won the Super Bowl three times and was the Super Bowl MVP once. He was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame in 2006 and the College Football Hall of Fame in 2008. Shortly after retirement he was named to Fox Sports’ lead NFL announcing crew, where he has been ever since. He is one of the most decorated and recognizable football players in history.

When he sits down for a radio interview, he’s asked about the 20-year-old rumor that he’s gay. And when he derides the face of that rumor, gay people attack him for it.

We see it with countless other athletes, actors and politicians. Whether it’s Steve Young, Christian Laettner, Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Charlie Crist or Aaron Shock, the collective gay community feels the desperate need to ignite gay rumors and fuel them. Then when the target of these rumors occassionally says something that isn’t all warm and fuzzy, we call him homophobic.

When we talk to athletes about why no active pro athlete in the big four sports has come out, and only a handful of retirees have said they’re gay, this is exactly what we hear about. Athletes want to be known for their athletic accomplishments, not their sexual orientation. There’s no evidence that Aikman is gay, yet just a baseless rumor has left him answering questions about it 10 years after retirement. Thousands if not millions of gay people are convinced he’s gay because it makes them feel better about themselves. And with every question Aikman has to answer about his sexual orientation, it pushes gay athletes mindful of their legacy deeper into the closet.

It’s time for our community to make a choice. Are we going to be that bully in fourth grade who pushes gay people deeper into the closet and makes enemies of potential allies? Or will we spend the time we’d otherwise use spreading gossip to make our world easier for those gay people to be themselves and those allies to be a little warmer and a little fuzzier?

For now, our community is so addicted to gay-based rumor-mongering that the vast majority just can’t help themselves. But if we’re ever going to treat people with the respect with which we ask to be treated, at some point we will all have to collectively grow up and stop contributing to it.

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According to the Daily Star, the reality TV star revealed details of the alleged relationship, claiming he and the player met three times a week at budget hotels behind the player’s girlfriend’s back.

The author wrote that the footballer approached him in a club and asked for his phone number before they began a 12-month affair.

Did anyone catch the blog post or the name of the soccer player?

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There’s been a gay rumor for a long time. I don’t mind at all. I am proud of that. I love fashion, and I think so many gay people have amazing style. So that is a compliment to me. I really don’t know why people are so interested. I just made a decision that I won’t talk about it.

The Swede is perhaps best known for appearing as an underwear model for Calvin Klein. Ljungberg is single and lives alone in an 8,500-square-foot house on a lake near Seattle, and there was no mention of a girlfriend anywhere in the story (but a couple of references to his dog).

I was a bit confused on his answer to the gay question. What does “I won’t talk about it” mean? He won’t discuss what his sexual orientation is? Or the rumors? And does “I’m proud of that” refer to being proud to be thought gay?

He has been more expansive in other interviews. For example, in reaction to being named the hottest football stud by a gay magazine, he did say: “I am not gay. If I was I would just say I was and it wouldn’t bother me.” Maybe he just got sick of answering the question and doesn’t care what people think.

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Come over to my house with your sister, and I’ll show you I’m not gay!

Which, of course, has some people even more convinced that he is. For the record, the 6-foot-5 striker is married (or at least has a long-term female partner) with two kids. I don’t buy that the pic is of a romantic embrace, but the ensuing hullabaloo has certainly been entertaining.

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Hat tip to Towleroad.

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So whether Lysacek is straight or bisexual or a closeted gay man, I can understand why he’d get a little bitchy that his nemesis, Johnny Weir, would hint something about Lysacek’s sexual orientation (by the way, search terms for Johnny Weir being gay do not show up in the top 50 search terms for Outsports, but the search term “Johnny Weir” is No. 1). Still, for Lysacek to tell Us magazine this week that being called gay is “hurtful” is a bit much for me to take. His quote after the jump.

Since the Olympics, I’ve dealt with Johnny’s questioning my integrity and sexuality, and I’ve never spoken out on my own behalf no matter how hurtful those things may have been. I should have known better. Best wishes and congratulations to Johnny as he opens the new season of Ice Theatre of New York. I wish him well in all of his future endeavors.

Somebody obviously showed Lysacek the really bad press his nasty, false comment got him.

Some people wonder why so many gay men like Weir and loathe Lysacek. The comment above is a great example. You never hear Weir say being called gay is “hurtful.” You never see Weir lash out at someone because they intimated that he’s gay or bisexual or straight or transgender. Lysacek, on the other hand, seems to handle it with anger. It seems to be his honest, natural reaction, but I think that’s what a lot of gay men and women respond to. Not all, but a lot.

I do wish I had some magical power to get these two in a room, sit them down, and make them talk through all of their mutual angst. It sucks to see two talented athletes drag each other into a cat fight like this. If that conversation ever happens, charging admission could set them both financially for life.

Where is Celebrity Deathmatch when you need it?

Hat tips to Aaron S. and Towleroad.

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