Outsports » Arizona Cardinals

RIP Polamalu/Fitzgerald

Kelvin Cabrera — Sat, 16 May 2009 18:35:59 +0000

The fans of 30 teams in the NFL have just breathed a sigh of relief. EA Sports has revealed the cover athletes for Madden 10, and as you can see, we’re going to get two horrific injuries/derailed careers this year instead of just one! Troy Polamalu of the Pittsburgh Steelers and Larry Fitzgerald of the Arizona Cardinals have the dubious honors this year of being on the cover of the top-selling football game.

The Madden Curse now has epic status. People absolutely cannot escape it. Brett Favre last year went from beloved athlete to choker to now desperately trying to find work and flushing his legacy down the toilet. Michael Vick in ’04 went from cover athlete to down for the count in one day as he broke his leg during a pre-season game the day after he was announced on the cover and we all know where he is now. And of course 2007, when Shaun Alexander went from being a Top 3 running back in the NFL to out of the NFL in one season.

For Steelers and Cardinals fans’ sake, I hope Polamalu and Fitzgerald have their insurance policies paid up.

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Brenda Warner’s baaaaaack

Cyd Zeigler jr. — Sun, 01 Feb 2009 03:59:12 +0000

During the St. Louis Rams’ two runs to the Super Bowl, one wife somehow grabbed the attention of the TV cameras more than any in a long time. Kurt Warner’s wife Brenda seemed to the Georgia Frontiere of the Warner family, even though Warner was taking home MVP trophies. The cameras at the Super Bowl lover her; And when radio stations criticized her husband, Brenda would call and defend her man. So cute.

There were also whispers about how much Brenda, a devout Christian, looked like a stereotypical lesbian. Remember that blue feathery thing? Well that was then, this is now. Brenda, preparing for her her husband’s third Super Bowl, has grown her hair and now looks great: More like a cheerleader than the Brenda we all came to know and love hate marvel at. How much will the cameras show her in the stands in Tampa on Sunday? I put the over/under at three times.

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A snoozer in Tampa?

Cyd Zeigler jr. — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 10:44:43 +0000

Is it just me, or does this Super Bowl have all the makings of a snoozer? No disrespect to the two teams involved, but I can’t remember a Super Bowl I had less interest in. For each of the last seven years, I feel we’ve been blessed with great storylines, heroes and villains headed into the big game. Players and teams to cheer for, players and teams to cheer against. But this year, nada. No one to hate, no one to love (unless you’re a fan of the specific teams). And the game is going to be an ugly blowout.

People talk about how great parity in the NFL is, but this is the kind of matchup we get with parity. No Patriots, no Cowboys, no Colts, no Eagles. The Steelers have the history, but this team just feels like a JV squad to the great Steeler champions of the past. I’ll be watching the game like millions of others, just with a lot less interest than any in the last seven years. And I’m sorry, but “The Cowher Assistant Bowl” just doesn’t grab me.

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Cyd’s Sexy Spreads: Conference Championships

Cyd Zeigler jr. — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 23:01:02 +0000

Note: Every week, I pick games against the spread on the Michael Irvin Show on ESPN Radio, and I’m putting them on our blog.

What a contrast in styles between these two games this weekend. In the desert will be a cordial game between a couple teams that many expected to be watching this game at home. In Pittsburgh, it will be freezing cold, mean and hard-hitting. And in New York City, NBC executives will be praying for an all-Pennsylvania Super Bowl. (Picks in bold)

Philadelphia Eagles at Arizona Cardinals +4
On paper, the Cardinals defense put on a show last week, forcing Carolina quarterback Jake Delhomme to turn the ball over six times. In reality, Delhomme did most of the work; And this week, the Cardinals aren’t facing Delhomme. Their heightened play will be enough to keep it close, but I think Philadelphia wins the game. Philadelphia 27, Arizona 24.

Baltimore Ravens +6 at Pittsburgh Steelers
The last time I discounted the Ravens for talking a lot of smack was before Super Bowl XXXV. Ravens 34, Giants 7. This Ravens team is mean and nasty, and that is exactly what the winner of this game will need to be. People have been comparing Joe Flacco to Ben Roethlisberg; But Flacco reminds me of Tom Brady. Not Brady in his first year, Brady in his third year. Baltimore 20, Pittsburgh 19.

Playoffs: 6-2. Season Record: 47-44-2.

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Who to hate more?

Kelvin Cabrera — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 17:22:23 +0000

Every story deserves a good villain. Alien had an 8-foot tall monster with acid for blood… The Dark Knight had a psychotic guy with a Glasgow Smile and who dressed like a clown… Titanic had Kate Winslet who wouldn’t move on that fucking door to let Leo DiCaprio on so he wouldn’t freeze to death. Bitch.

But, for those of us who are fans of the 28 teams not playing this weekend, we need to find a team to get behind because the other team and their fans are just a bunch of douches. And since Patriot Nation took an early tee time, we need to analyze the four teams playing in this weekend’s Conference Championships and figure out which of these douches chills you the most!

Team 1: The Philadelphia Eagles

The city known for heart-stopping cheesesteaks and Boys II Men. New Jack Soul was a disgrace to all of music, and Philly is responsible for the majority of it.
The most obnoxious fans on the planet Earth with zero reason to be. Before the Phillies lucked their way into a title this season, the city had been championship-less for 25 years. Can you imagine the self-righteousness of Philadelphia fans if the Eagles win it all and they become the late 2000′s version of Boston fans?
They boo children. (okay, this might be a plus)
You don’t know the meaning of hatred til a drunk asshole wearing green and white shouts “E-A-G-L-E-S, EAGLES!!!!” in your face. It’s like the Jets chant only much lamer.

Team 2 – The Chicago St. Louis Phoenix Arizona Cardinals

The team that has not won a title since 1947 (when, coincidentally, they beat the Eagles) and has been the definition of mediocrity for generations.
Kurt Warner: Burgeoning Artist
Phoenix has heat during the day that would make your car’s tires explode and that same night has cold that would turn your pool into a skating rink. I’m convinced this city is filled with schizophrenics.
Bill Bidwell. This man must never, ever be rewarded for his ridiculous cheapness. To give you some idea, until around the turn of the century, Bidwell would require players to buy their own equipment. Also, he screwed over a city for not building him a new stadium also, which brings us to…

Team 3 – The Baltimore Ravens

Former owner Art Modell can never step foot again into the city of Cleveland without armed guards. Generally considered a huge asshole by anyone outside of Maryland (and by Redskins fans within Maryland). No confirmation about this, but it is believed that he also kicks puppies and punches babies for fun.
These dicks.
Having an (alleged) murderer in their LB corps and generally having the worst examples of “The U” on their team.
No one outside of Baltimore can make a crab cake correctly. Their obnoxious guarding of this secret must be stopped.

Team 4 – The Pittsburgh Steelers

The most successful of the group, having won a championship this century. They’re the odds-on favorite to win, and really, isn’t it more fun to hate on a favorite?
Their mayor Luke Ravenstahl had his name (fake) changed this week to Luke Steelerstahl. People who care, zero.
Troy Polamalu and his long hippie hair.

I know who I’m picking as my winner.

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Kurt Warner is worried you’re going to hell.

Cyd Zeigler jr. — Sat, 10 Jan 2009 03:03:53 +0000

A bunch of indy filmmakers have set out on a mission to show the mysteries and controversy behind the identity of God, as seen by our culture and society. The film is called God In The Box. One of those they talk to is Arizona Cardinals quarterback Kurt Warner, a devout Christian. One of them asks Warner if he’s worried that his friends and teammates who don’t lead Christian lives will go to hell.

No question. Especially when it comes to family members. There’s no doubt about it. I’m very, very worried about it. I’ve done numerous things along the way to try to lead them down the path that I believe leads to salvation, but many times to no avail.

In another clip, it’s obvious he didn’t take art classes past the third grade . . .

Hat tip to Towleroad.

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