Sacha Heppell

Sacha Heppell and Dixon Hernandez had dreams of becoming NFL cheerleaders, but they were dashed this year when they both failed to make it out of tryouts. Heppell tried out for the Denver Broncos and Hernandez for the Houston Texans.

“Who wouldn’t want to be a Texans cheerleader?” Hernandez said during his tryout.

“When I dance, I lose myself,” Heppell said. Both teams had an open call and anyone was allowed to try out. Both said they will take another shot next year. The Baltimore Ravens have 20 men on their cheer squad, doing the heavy lifting on female cheerleaders during routines.

Heppell’s audition:

Hat tip to Opposing Views.

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The guys at Manhunt Daily found the 11-minute reading a bit long, so they cut it down to 60 seconds, transforming a reading for kids…into “Kevin Love Whispers a Love Letter to My Taint.” Who knew the book features the word “wet” so many times. Watch the video here, along with Tim Tebow reading Green Eggsssssssssss and Ham: 

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Brady Quinn

Denver Broncos backup quarterback Brady Quinn is backtracking from comments made to GQ about his teammate Tim Tebow. Quinn was among a bunch of NFL players and observers quoted by Michael Silver about the meteoric rise of Tebow this season. Here is the Quinn quote that has gotten a lot of attention:

“If you look at it as a whole, there’s a lot of things that just don’t seem very humble to me.  When I get that opportunity, I’ll continue to lead not necessarily by trying to get in front of the camera and praying but by praying with my teammates, you know?”

Quinn also suggested that Tebow leapfrogged him on the depth chart and started for Kyle Orton because that’s what the fans wanted. After his quotes were made public, Quinn took to Twitter today to backtrack:

“The comments attributed to me in a recent magazine article are in NO WAY reflective of my opinion of Tim and the Broncos,” Quinn wrote. “Tim deserves a lot of credit for our success and I’m happy for him and what he accomplished. Most importantly, he is a great teammate.

“That interview was conducted three months ago, and the resulting story was a completely inaccurate portrayal of my comments. I have addressed my disappointment with the writer and have reached out to Tim to clear this up. I apologize to anyone who feels I was trying to take anything away from our team’s or Tim’s success this season.”

Silver, for his part, wonders what the fuss is about, tweeting:

“The people ripping [Quinn] 4 his comments in GQ have it wrong. He was honest and not bitter at all. We talked for 50 minutes and he was respectful. . . . He was put in a uniquely weird position that would have rattled most quarterbacks. I thought he handled it well. He’s a standup guy,” Silver wrote.

We all know how ultra-religious Tebow is, and Quinn is not shy about his beliefs, often tweeting the name of a Biblical passage. He is not claiming he was misquoted, so I am not sure why Quinn felt a need to backtrack. He was right — there is nothing “humble” about someone who has made “Tebowing” part of the language.

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Before you roll your eyes and dismiss this as another anti-Tebow snark piece, it isn’t. In fact, it’s honestly made me rethink everything I’ve said about him.

There is no denying that Tim Tebow is one of the top sports stories of the year, in part because of the Broncos’ turnaround, in part because of his zealous religious practices, and in part because he looks like such an awful quarterback…but still wins.

A recent ESPN poll claims that Tebow is America’s favorite athlete. He won the poll with a whopping 3% of the vote, so it doesn’t translate very well into that claim; My guess is he’d also win the same poll asking fans whom their least-favorite athlete is. Still, there’s no doubt Tebow is a big, popular story in America and his popularity as an athlete is skyrocketing.

As that story has built over the last couple of months, and as Tebow and the Broncos have become one of the top stories in the NFL, the question I’ve gotten asked more and more, leading up to this week when I’ve seen the question flood onto my phone and email inbox:

Is Tim Tebow gay?

I’m not a big fan of speculating about people’s sexual orientation, particularly athletes. I’ve heard wishful-thinking “rumors” about more athletes than I could fit in Mile High. But with Tebow, even Deadspin is wondering, with their Wednesday headline, “What if Tim Tebow were gay?” In non-Deadspin fashion, Drew Magary put aside the snark for a moment and analyzed what would happen if the man-of-the-hour was in fact gay.

It’s a hard truth that the most religious guy on your block is the one most likely to be sneaking out to truck stops at 3 a.m. so he can greedily lap up every last ounce of redneck jizz caked on the bathroom stall partition. Anyway, if Tebow were gay, a couple of things would happen. First off, Mike Silver would die from excitement. Secondly, Tebow would have an incredible opportunity to bridge the persistent divide in this nation between evangelical Christians and the gay community. I mean, honestly: It’s time for this matter to be settled. Tebow could get his followers to be more accepting of gays, and he could get filthy liberals to be more accepting of evangelicals. I think he and Von Miller would make the cutest gay couple ever.

That argument — it’s often the loudest preachers who are gay — is rooted in some pretty substantial history. Ted Haggard, the evangelical pastor who hired a male prostitute over the course of several years, is possibly the most glaring example.

When I was in my late teens and early 20s, I was a devout Christian. I went to church every Sunday, read the Bible, and prayed every night. Every single night. I swore, like Tebow, that I wouldn’t have sex until I married. My first long-term girlfriend was even more hardcore Christian than I was. It was easy hiding my sexual orientation behind my religion. God said I can’t have sex, so I can’t have sex.

It’s not a gay thing, it’s a God thing.

It wasn’t until I was 21 that I had sexual contact with anyone else; It wasn’t until I was 22 that I’d try to “stumble” into bathrooms on campus where it was rumored gay sex occurred.

Tebow, like myself 20 years ago, has said he’s committed to no sex until he’s married. Outsports reader John Armstrong reflected on Tebow’s commitment to chastity:

You are aware that Tim Tebow is a flaming homosexual, right? Hmmm…I hate myself for being gay and a fundie, so what can I do? I know; I’ll super-achieve in a sport where I can be around men. How can I be very attractive and successful and still be a virgin and nobody scratches heads? I know; I’ll flaunt my religion.

Tim Tebow has one purpose on earth: To reconcile homosexuality and religion. When he comes out, the world changes.

But there’s more to the “Tim Tebow gay” speculation than just the religious aspect.

Certainly there are many gay men who don’t fall into certain stereotypes; Stereotypes are by no means a de facto indicator of sexual orientation. But I’ve found over time there are few straight men who do fall into them. So when I see a video like this, it really gives me pause:

A friend simply texted: “Omg have u seen tebow interview…Oh lord.”

A straight sports commentator called me this week with the same reaction to Tebow’s post-Steelers press conference.

Again, not every gay man flails his hands and talks with a slight lisp…there are just very few straight men who do. And seeing that video just…well…sue me, it does make me wonder.

Then there’s this photo flying around the Internet, which leaves people wondering:

And this one…

In fact, when you Google “Tim Tebow kiss,” no pictures of him with girls come up in the first couple hundred results…but him kissing and hugging men are aplenty.

I got an email the other day from a friend, Brian Taylor, who says Tebow has another strong “tell” that he’s gay:

It involves thumbs being tucked in, underneath the index finger. Anyhow, Tim Tebow has this tell. It’s actually not even one tell for him. He has many. And the first chapter of his biography is about Uncle Dick — who is most definitely a gay single guy who grew up next-door to him. He was and remains a hero of Tim’s.

I don’t know about his thumbs and index fingers, but the email shows how deeply people are thinking about the sexual orientation of this fascinating athlete. And to be sure, our actions, mannerisms and facial expressions reveal more about us than we intend. According to Taylor, who wrote a study titled, Anatomy of discrimination: sexual orientation and nonverbal behaviors in dyadic interactions, both psychologist Paul Ekman and former FBI agent Joe Navarro have demonstrated over and over that how you move, e.g., flailing your arms as you talk, can convey sexual orientation.

I have no idea if Tebow is gay. But this has all left me thinking…what if he really is? For real.

Kinda makes me feel like a schmuck.

All that pious religious bullshit he spews…at the end of the day, that’s not him. That’s what his parents and his pastors have drilled into his head from the day he was born. The kid doesn’t even know who he really is. When you’re indoctrinated with religion from birth, and you commit your life to the all-consuming sport of football, there isn’t much time left for true self-discovery. If he is in fact gay, he may not know it. Even if he does, chances are slim he’d be comfortable telling his mother…or pastor…let alone us.

If Tebow is gay, he is buried beneath so much crap he many never get out from under it. Instead of attacking him for it, maybe reaching out a helpful hand would be nice. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still a crappy quarterback. But all that “my lord and savior Jesus Christ” stuff…could be Tebow’s cry for help.

So I’m gonna lay off Tim a little. If he is in fact gay, and if he does in fact ever figure that out, he’s going to need all the support he can get.

Photo from Tebow’s Jockey underwear campaign.

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I went 3-1 in picking wild card weekend, missing the Broncos-Steelers game. I am not getting wild with any picks this weekend, favoring only one underdog.

NFC, Saturday: Saints (14-3) at 49ers (13-3). Saints favored by 3.

The Niners are an understandable home underdog. It’s their first playoff game since 2002 and the Saints have scored 42, 45, 45 and 45 in their last four games. But … all four of those games were indoors, three at home and one at 3-13 Minnesota. In their last outdoor game, the Saints barely held off the Titans, 22-17. And any team that lost to the Rams, like the Saints did, is no sure thing on the road. The 49ers have a terrific defense that will slow down Drew Brees and an offense that can play ball control against a weak New Orleans defense. In an upset, 49ers 23, Saints 20.

AFC, Saturday: Broncos (9-8) at Patriots (13-3). Patriots favored by 13 1/2.

Ugh! Tim Tebow vs. Tom Brady. Jesus’ QB against the team I hate the most.  It’s like getting a meal choice of liver ice cream or pig’s feet pizza; either one will make you puke. I hope Tebow strains a muscle while pregame Tebowing and the sexy Brady Quinn comes off the bench.

The Broncos have a puncher’s chance in this one. The Patriots have a crappy defense and they fell behind 17-0 and 21-0 in their last two games before rallying against weak teams. The Broncos scored 23 on them a few weeks ago and three fumbles turned a close game into a rout. But any way I dissect it, I can’t see a Denver win. Patriots 34, Broncos 16.

AFC, Sunday: Texans (11-6) at Ravens (12-4). Ravens favored by 7 1/2.

The Texans won their first playoff game as a franchise last week, but run into a buzz saw in Baltimore. The Ravens finally have a home game after three years as a wild card, and they went 8-0 at home this season. The Texans have a shaky rookie QB in T.J. Yates and the Ravens have an erratic QB in four-year starter Joe Flacco. But Baltimore’s defense will dictate this game and no way they lose at home to a rookie. Ravens 30, Texans 10.

NFC, Sunday: Giants (10-7) at Packers (15-1). Packers favored by 7 1/2.

The Packers needed a last-minute TD drive to beat the Giants, 38-35, in Week 13. This has many people conjuring up memories of 2007, when the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl a few weeks after losing 38-35 to close the regular season. A hot Eli Manning and stellar pass rush were the keys then and are supposed to be the keys now. But I don’t buy it. The 2007 Pats were playing on fumes and this year’s Packers are rested, healthy and at home after a bye. And Manning didn’t exactly light it up against the Falcons last week. Green Bay is simply too good, especially at Lambeau in January. Packers 38, Giants 17.

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The game unfolded in the only way the Broncos can win with Tebow at quarterback. The Steelers drove the ball in the first quarter but came away with only 6 points. Turnovers and a couple broken plays built a lead for the Broncos. When the offense gave up the ball late, the defense got a huge stop and set up overtime…that resulted in the longest overtime pass in NFL history to end a game.

Amazing how Tebow threw his team’s passes, caught the passes, ran the ball, forced interceptions by the Steelers and recorded a couple sacks on Big Ben. That guy is everywhere, thanks to Jesus Christ.

At his press conference Tebow thanked his “Lord and savior” at least three times; And I only listened to about four minutes of it.

Next up the Broncos take on the New England Patriots. When the two teams met in week 15, the Patriots dominated the second half and cruised to a 41-28 victory.

A new addition to the Patriots since that meeting is offensive assistant Josh McDaniels…who drafted Tebow for the Broncos in 2010. Former Broncos QB Kyle Orton already took down the Broncos in Week 17 when he led the Kansas City Chiefs over the Broncos. We’ll see what Bill Belichick comes up with after some debrief with McDaniels about the Broncos’ praying mantis.

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“The Denver Broncos are committed to tolerance, acceptance and respect for all in the community,” said Smyth. “The National Football League is currently working with USA Network on its ‘Characters Unite’ campaign combating prejudice and intolerance, and our organization is in full support of that movement to help raise awareness for this very important cause.”

The ‘Characters Unite’ campaign is a watered-down, generic statement against prejudice. In the intro video, no one mentions gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender people. The CGI words scroll by in the background, but there is no verbal reference. The site’s pledge has no reference to sexual orientation and the campaign’s mission doesn’t mention it. In fact, under the “issues” section of the site it lists various bases for prejudice like religion and gender, but there is no dedicated section for LGBT issues.

It’s not surprising the Broncos would go this route. They’ve built a loyal Christian following with quarterback Tim Tebow, and they don’t want to undermine that by actively convincing gay youth to not kill themselves. Tebow has appeared in a national commercial for an anti-gay activist organization, so it’s pretty clear the marketing department was all over the rejection of the ‘It Gets Better’ request.

Instead, the Broncos and the NFL will embrace a weak, generic “can’t we all get along, kumbaya” message. I’m not one bit surprised.

Hat tip to Towleroad.

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I know you’ll be kicking back in your big pearly throne this Sunday afternoon to watch the New England Patriots take on the Denver Broncos. And who can blame you? Sure, there’s poverty in Africa. Yes, there are floods in the Philippines. Wars in the Middle East? Who cares! You’ve got Tebowmania!

But I’m praying to you now, God, to ask you to choose the Patriots to beat the Broncos this Sunday. The Anointed One has told us that you choose the outcomes of NFL games, and there are good reasons to choose the Patriots in Denver.

If the Broncos beat the Patriots, 100% of the credit will be given to Tebow. All of the interceptions the defense gets and the yards racked up by the running backs…all because of Tebow. 59-yard field goals? Tebow. He will be lifted up like no other before him. And some people will say he is God himself! It was one thing to beat the injury-plagued Raiders and the injury-plagued Bears and the injury-plagued Chargers. It was brilliant of you to force so many starting quarterbacks and running backs to the sideline to make way for Tebow. But if you choose him to beat the Patriots, people will get confused and think he isn’t just a disciple of you…but IS you. And you don’t want to create that kind of confusion, do you?

The Patriots quarterback is Tom Brady, who once appeared in a magazine holding a goat. And you love shepherds! They came to the birth of your son, Jesus Christ, in Bethlehem. They risked losing their flocks to witness the baby laying in a manger; After 2000 years, isn’t it time to pay back the shepherds for their trouble by having Brady win this game?

Where were the Tebows when your son was born? Plotting against you, I assure you. Tebow’s parents named one of Tim’s brothers Peter. Peter! Of all the names to choose, only Judas would have been more indicative of their true intentions! Peter, who denied your son three times in the court of the high priest! I understand you are a forgiving god…but do you reward those who raise up the name of he who denied your son? It is blasphemy!

Tebow says he prays to you during the games that you will block field goal attempts and cause fumbles. And you have! You have shown your incredible power to change the outcomes of football games! I didn’t believe you would do so, but divine intervention is the only way a quarterback as bad as Tebow could possibly win one game in the NFL, let alone seven!

But in doing so, you have rewarded a man who defies your word. In the Beatitudes you specifically say that people shouldn’t pray in public but should go into their room, “close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Well I am in my room, with the door closed, praying to you now. Would you answer the over-the-top public prayers of Tebow, whom you call a hypocrite, or grant the request of this humble man in his small room?

You also talk about rewarding the meek. You don’t get more meek than Patriots coach Bill Belichick! He doesn’t seek out cameras or microphones, he quietly goes about his business. You can even hear his distaste for media attention when the microphones and cameras find him. But Tebow  seeks out the attention. He is the furthest thing from “meek” you have put on this earth. This is your opportunity to show the world that you will choose the meek, quiet and humble over the loud and boisterous!

So you can see, dear God, that a victory for the New England Patriots over the Denver Broncos would be an incredible statement of your power and your vision for this world. So I ask you to please turn those missed field goals and fumbles the way of the Broncos this weekend. As Tebow has told us over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, I realize the outcome of the game is entirely in your hands.

And thank you, in advance, for averting the national crisis that a Broncos victory would create.

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The big question I have, and I know it’s on the minds of others: Would outspoken Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow appear in such a video? He isn’t afraid to take a position, fighting against abortion, appearing in a national commercial for anti-gay Focus on the Family, and telling every camera he can get in front of that Jesus Chris is his lord and savior. Would The Anointed One appear in a video in support of LGBT youth? I highly doubt it…but I also picked the Lions to win the NFC North, so I’m not batting 1.000.

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Denver used two kick returns for touchdowns by Eddie Royal and a suffocating defense to win at San Diego for the first time in four years. The Broncos have not allowed a point in the fourth quarter, which is amazing considering they have played some pretty good offenses (the Cowboys, Patriots and Chargers). At 6-0, the Broncos have a three-game lead in the AFC West over San Diego, which continues to be the most underachieving team in the league. Now, about those ugly Denver throwback socks — throw ‘em back!

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