Manny being Manny...or Octomom...or Bob Dole...

Los Angeles Dodgers outfielder Manny Ramirez was hit with a 50-game suspension by Major League Baseball because of a positive test for a banned substance. A statement by Ramirez, released through the players’ union, says in part: “Recently I saw a physician for a personal health issue. He gave me a medication, not a steroid, which he thought was OK to give me.”

The secrecy is what kills this argument for me. If you truly aren’t trying to get away with using a performance-enhancing substance, why not state specifically, right up front, what your health issue is and what medication was prescribed? I know he’s got a right to privacy, but is this privacy worth being suspected of being a cheater?

So we look to others to fill in the blanks. ESPN reports that the substance in question is human chorionic gonadotropin, a women’s fertility drug. So is Manny trying to make himself into the second coming of Octomom? On the other hand, Yahoo! Sports quotes a source close to Ramirez as saying that the drug was not “an agent customarily used for performance enhancing” — except in the bedroom. The source said that the drug was prescribed to treat Manny’s erectile dysfunction.

I suppose that’s possible, but why not just use Viagra or Cialis? Unfortunately for Manny, he’s now under a huge dark cloud of suspicion. HCG is, quoting the ESPN report, “typically used by steroid users to restart their body’s natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle.”

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Based on his facial features this was pre-steroids.

With the recession continuing to ravage the nation, there’s been a lot of discussion about last week’s interview of CNBC’s Jim “Mad Money” Cramer by Jon Stewart on The Daily Show. Stewart effectively picked apart Cramer’s reputation as a financial expert (at least from some reports — I didn’t watch it myself so I can’t comment personally). Putting aside how pathetic it is that a show on Comedy Central is doing a better job of journalism than any of the so-called “news” networks, now one of Cramer’s proteges — a former pro athlete — is also under attack.

Kevin Coughlin, a former photo editor for a magazine founded by former New York Mets and Philadelphia Phillies outfielder Lenny Dykstra, has written an article, “You Think Your Job Sucks? Try Working for Lenny Dykstra,” for the April issue of GQ magazine. It’s not a flattering picture, to say the least. It depicts seeming financial mismanagement, not to mention racist, sexist and homophobic comments, by Dykstra.

Dykstra managed to parlay his baseball career into a chain of car washes, and then turned his attention to the stock market, eventually becoming a columnist for TheStreet.com, a site co-founded by Cramer. He then started a magazine called The Players Club, distributed exclusively to professional athletes, with plans to expand it into a full-service company providing financial advice, luxury concierge services, etc. to those very same athletes.

In the GQ article, Coughlin says that Dykstra’s company is in terrible financial shape and the magazine is unlikely to publish another issue. He says there are multiple lawsuits pending against Dykstra and TPC because of bounced checks, nonpayment of bills for services rendered and loans not repaid. He alleges Dykstra, ostensibly a wealthy man, used Coughlin’s credit cards to rent private jets, sometimes without Coughlin’s permission, and refused to pay Coughlin’s final paycheck unless Coughlin signed a confidentiality agreement (Coughlin refused and hasn’t been paid).

Coughlin also paints an ugly portrait of Dykstra as a person:

At one meeting, Lenny goes off on how a particular layout looks “faggy”-despite the presence of a gay page designer in the room. (Later, Lenny says to me: “Did you see the look on that fag’s face?”) On another occasion, I field a call from Lenny about potential cover subjects while I’m at home; Lenny’s on speaker when he proudly states, for both my wife and me, that “nobody can call me a racist-I put three darkies and a bitch on my first four covers.”

The first four Players Club covers featured Derek Jeter, Chris Paul, Tiger Woods, and Danica Patrick.

“What was that, Lenny?” I ask.

“I said I put three spearchuckers on the cover!” he replies.

Dykstra told the Philadelphia Inquirer that “everything in there is a lie.” And perhaps it is. The article was written by a disgruntled former employee. On the other hand, Dykstra denied using steroids during his playing days, always joking that he took “real good vitamins” when his body suddenly turned larger, but he was named as one of baseball’s steroid users by the Mitchell Report in 2007, which cited clubhouse employee/steroid distributor Kirk Radomski and other sources.

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So the question now becomes not whether not he’s still on the gas or if he’s got any sort of justification for it (I.e. nagging injuries), but it’s who can fall over themselves fast enough to demonize and belittle the achievements of what, to this point, has been one of the greatest baseball careers of all time:

• ESPN has about 27 columns stating that baseball is once again ruined forever by these allegations.
• A-Rod’s hometown paper, the Miami Herald, joined in on the fun making it seem that Alex’s indiscretion is a betrayal of us all.
• But of course no one can turn on you like the New York media…   Bill Madden of the New York Daily News says A-Rod’s Hall of Fame chances are finished (Personally, I think he’s still a first ballot choice.)
• And Joel Sherman of the New York Post seems to think that the Yankees were stupid to not get rid of “A-Fraud” when they had a chance (nevermind the fact that he won 2 MVP’s while in pinstripes AND that he’s still easily among the top players in the game).
• And of course, when no one asks or really cares about an opinion, who better than Curt Schilling to give one.

So welcome to the 2009 season.  Pitchers and catchers report on the 14th!

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