“She just needs to continue to stay cute and shut up.”

After the Patriots lost to the Giants in the Super Bowl, in part because of dropped passes by their receivers, Bundchen was caught on tape saying:

“You (have) to catch the ball when you’re supposed to catch the ball. My husband cannot (bleeping) throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”

I was critical of her comments simply because that kind of public discord is not helpful to any team and was something her husband would never say about a teammate. But Jacobs’ “stay cute” comment is the definition of sexist and uncalled for. I am surprised he didn’t tell her to get back in the kitchen. Giants defensive lineman Osi Umenyiora took a different tack:

“I mean, that is her husband. She is supposed to stay out of things like that, but at the end of the day that is their relationship and she has the right to say whatever she wants to.”

Bundchen is apparently Public Enemy No. 1 in Boston, with people calling her “Yoko” and noting that the Pats have not won a Super Bowl since she hooked up with Brady. I get that players’ spouses will be lightning rods (see the wives of Kurt Warner and Albert Pujols), but Jacobs’ “stay cute” comment likely won Bundchen some female fans who have put up with that kind of crap their whole lives.

Share on Facebook

“You (have) to catch the ball when you’re supposed to catch the ball. My husband cannot (bleeping) throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”

I can understand Mrs. Brady being pissed and there were some big drops, but this has not gone over well. It’s not like her husband was blameless. He gave the Giants two points when he panicked and threw the ball away in the end zone, giving the Giants a safety. He also threw an ill-advised long pass that was intercepted in the fourth quarter and finished the game 7 for 18. Brady failed to lead his team to any points in the game’s final 25 minutes.

The most critical drop was that of Wes Welker, a play that turned the game. But even then, Brady’s pass was somewhat off, turning an easy catch into one more difficult (though one Welker should have made). I know Brady will not be criticizing his teammates since he knows they have bailed him out many times in the past and this stuff evens out; plus, he’s a great teammate. His wife should have just kept her thoughts to herself.

This is how this is being seen in Boston, as evidenced by this comment:

3 Super Bowl wins pre-Gisele.
0 Super Bowl wins (2 SB losses) with Gisele.
Already had one “Yoko” comment to me on twitter.

Yoko? That’s awesome.

Share on Facebook

We know you’re gonna destroy that goddamn lesbian Eli Manning…

Their Christmas special (also below) is funnier than most comedies you’ll find on TV (check out the Tom Brady crucifix). Ah, brings me back to my Bay State childhood.

And the guys at TownieNews.com got hold of a voicemail Peyton Manning left for Tom Brady over the weekend. I wonder if Peyton thinks Eli is a lesbian.

Share on Facebook

WHAT: Super Bowl XLVI (46 for you non-Romans) will be held Sunday Feb. 5 and features the New England Patriots (15-3) champions of the American Football Conference vs. the New York Giants (12-7) from the National Football Conference. The Patriots are a slight 3-point favorite, indicative of how close the game is perceived to be. The Patriots are 3-3 in Super Bowls, the Giants are 3-1. These teams met in the Super Bowl following the 2007 season, with the heavy underdog Giants shocking the then-unbeaten Patriots, 17-14, in one of the best Super Bowls ever. We can only hope this one is as good.

WHERE: The game will be played in a place synonymous with winter getaways – Indianapolis, at Lucas Oil Stadium (“The Luke”). The weather forecast for the week calls for temperatures in the 30s, with a chance of snow. So much for visitors getting in a round of golf. The Luke is a dome, so game conditions will be ideal unless they forget to close the windows.

Tickets to the game have a face value of $800 to $1,200, but many will sell for a lot more on the secondary market. One fan has already paid $16,480 for a ticket on the NFL’s ticket resale site. Because this is a rematch of a recent Super Bowl and with Indy not being seen as a garden spot, resale prices are off 13% from a year ago (Packers-Steelers in Dallas), the L.A. Times reports.

KICKOFF/TV: The kickoff is set for 6:30 p.m. EST, shortly after Kelly Clarkson sings the National Anthem. You can get 2.5-1 odds that she’ll miss some of the words and the over/under bet on the time it will take her to sing it is 1:34. Nothing can be worse than Steven Tyler’s version prior to the AFC title game this year. (Click on this link only if you want your eardrums assaulted.)

The game will be broadcast on NBC, which does the best job of televising football, with Al Michaels as the play-by-play guy and Cris Collinsworth doing the analysis. Last year, Troy Aikman called the game for Fox, which resulted in numerous searches on Outsports of  “Troy Aikman gay.” “Cris Collinsworth gay” doesn’t get you the same results.

The old Patriots logo

FASHION NOTE: The Patriots are the designated home team and will wear their blue jerseys. The Giants will wear white. If you’re looking for a trend, teams wearing white have won five of the last six Super Bowls. The Giants have a classic helmet with “NY” on it, while the Patriots have a stylized Patriot head on theirs. It doesn’t compare with the old sort-of-gay Patriot logo of a guy with his legs spread and a smile on his face, ready for action.

QUARTERBACKS: Tom vs. Eli. Tom Brady of the Patriots and Eli Manning of the Giants are so recognizable that any fan will know who you are taking about just by using their first names. Brady is one of those guys who transcend his sport. That’s what being really talented, good looking and marrying a supermodel (Giselle Bundchen) will do. Brady is the ultimate metrosexual, a spokesman for high fashion, most recently Ugg footwear. Is Ugg short for “ugly,” since most Uggs I’ve seen look out of place unless you’re stranded in the Himalayas?

Brady has come a long way from the infamous NFL pre-draft photo of himself in his underwear, but he took a step back last year when he channeled his inner Justin Bieber with a mop haircut. Brady is so big in Boston that his hairstyles are the talk of the town. By the way, he’s a pretty good quarterback, too, a certain first-ballot Hall of Fame entry five years after he retires.

Tom Brady, in 2000, left, and 2011

Manning was more known as the other Manning, second fiddle to older brother Peyton. But that has changed as Eli has taken the Giants to their second Super Bowl in five seasons, becoming an elite NFL quarterback. Despite living in the media hothouse of New York, Eli Manning lives a pretty low-key life, having married his college sweetheart in 2008. He also loves going antique shopping with his mom.

THE COACHES: Both Patriots Coach Bill Belichick and the Giants Tom Coughlin are rather dull personalities, though Belichick did have an affair with another guy’s wife a few years back that became part of divorce proceedings. He also is the worst-dressed coach on the sidelines, preferring to wear an oversized gray hoodie that makes him look like a Star Wars character. As a coach, though, there’s nobody better in football.

Coughlin is an old-school disciplinarian, voted by players in the league as the coach they’d least like to play for. But he does a great job getting the Giants ready to play, especially in the playoffs. An interesting side note – Coughlin’s daughter is married to Chris Snee, a Giants offensive lineman.

THE FANS: This is a win-win game or a lose-lose, depending on your point of view. There are no more annoying fans than those that live in New York or Boston. Obnoxious and arrogant are two of the nicer things you can say; there is a reason Boston fans are known as “Massholes.” The good news is that one of these teams will lose, rendering their fans miserable. The bad news is that one of these teams will win, rendering their fans insufferable.

THE GAY ANGLE: These are two gay-friendly teams. They represent two of the states where gay marriage is legal. Giants co-owner Steve Tisch and former Giant Michael Strahan made videos promoting marriage equality during the debate in New York last year. Patriots owner Bob Kraft and his late wife Myra also supported gay rights. In 2003, the Patriots sent a former player, Hall of Famer Andre Tippett, to toss the coin to open the Gay Bowl flag football tournament in Boston.  Patriots safety Brett Lockett, who is on injured reserve, has appeared in the NOH8 campaign and openly supports gay marriage.

Then there’s Madonna, who will be this year’s halftime entertainment. …

ENTERTAINMENT: The Material Girl, now 53, is one of the great gay icons, which I can acknowledge, even as a non-fan of her music. One of her backup singers was quoted in the New York Daily News as saying she will be “bringing gay to the Super Bowl,” whatever that means. The NFL controls all aspects of the halftime show and does not want a repeat of Nipplegate, so expect a safe and bland show. Here is what Madonna told the L.A. Times about her preparations:

“I have 12 minutes and 40 seconds to do something extravagant and exciting in the middle of something that’s quite sacred to all of America,” she said. “No one’s asked me to tone down my moves. They were curious about my costumes and the costumes of the dancers…. They were very clear with us up front that they don’t want nipples or anything like that, and I didn’t have any intention of doing that, so I was like, ‘OK, we’re cool.’ I’m more nervous about this than most things I’ve done, simply because … it’s not how I’m used to working. I’m a perfectionist. I like everything to be done just so, and I like to run things and run things and run things until people can do it with their eyes closed.”

THE COMMERCIALS: I am not one of those who gets all geeked up about the commercials, though there are a zillion places where you can already see trailers for some ads. At $3.5 million for a 30-second ad, advertisers are doing everything to call attention to themselves. One ad I will be interested in is the one by another gay icon, soccer’s David Beckham, modeling underwear for H&M called “David Beckham Bodywear” I would bet that the average NFL fan doesn’t know David Beckham from David Bowie, but I will be interested in seeing how much skin he shows; I bet he’s in an  undershirt or tank top at most.

“This is an American game played by American heavyweight talent for true blue-collar Americans: why do we need a metrosexual Briton like David Beckham there in his tightie-whities making us all feel out of shape?” wrote one jingoistic NFL fan on ESPN.com. “Or is it a trick to make the wives watch all four hours of the game?”

THE PORN ANGLE: Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski spent his bye week this October hanging out with porn star Bibi Jones and he posted a photo of her on Twitter wearing his Pats jersey. For some reason, he felt compelled to apologize, but with that body there’s nothing to apologize for:

In the soft porn angle, Patriots wide receiver Wes Welker is engaged to Anna Burns, a Miss Hooters International.

FOR THE EYES: This is not a game where I find a lot of hotties (unlike the last two years), but the Giants have the better-looking team. Brady is objectively handsome but he does zero for me, while guys like Welker are too red-necky for my tastes. Maybe it’s the Patriot Way to look schlubby like their coach.

On the Giants, among the best lookers are defensive back Prince Amukamara, wide receiver Victor Cruz and tight end Jake Ballard. Backup David Carr for years was one of Cyd’s lust objects, though I don’t know if that’s still the case. At least three players have rocking bodies – Gronkowski (see above), Giants punter Steve Weatherford and Giants special teamer Devin Thomas (see here). Feel free to list your hotties in the comments below since everyone has their own taste.

Prince Amukamara, Victor Cruz, Jake Ballard

THE GAME: Flip a coin. Anybody who claims they “know” who will win is blowing smoke. These teams are evenly matched and their season stats on both offense and defense are extremely similar. The wonder is how the Giants lost seven games, including two to the 5-11 Redskins and one to the 7-9 Seahawks.

An injury could be a determining factor – Rob Gronkowski set an NFL record for touchdowns by tight ends with 15 and he is Brady’s most dangerous weapon. He has a high ankle sprain and is not expected to practice all week, though he is set to play. This injury is one of the hardest for an NFL player to play through and it really limits mobility. I find it hard to see how Gronkowski will be able to effectively run or cut. If he is limited, this will allow the Giants to focus on the other tight end, Aaron Hernandez, and Welker. If free agent wide receiver bust Chad Ochocinco ever decides to come up big, now would be the time for the Patriots.

The key matchup will be the Patriots excellent offensive line against the Giants terrific pass rush. The Giants have nine sacks in three playoff games and their ability to pressure Brady will determine the game. Brady can dominate a game if he gets in a zone, but like any quarterback he becomes rushed and less accurate when harassed.

On the other side of the ball, the Patriots’ shaky pass defense will have to contend with a talented group of Giants receivers, led by Hakeem Nicks and Victor Cruz. Cruz is the top big-play threat in the game and in the AFC title game the Patriots twice let Baltimore Ravens wideout Torrey Smith get deep. Lucky for them,  Smith was underthrown on one pass (resulting in a long gain but no score) and overthrown on another (an incompletion). Don’t expect them to be as fortunate against Manning and Cruz.

Neither team runs the ball consistently, though the Patriots use BenJarvus Green-Ellis quite effectively at times. I would call special teams a draw and give the coaching edge to the Patriots, but ever so slightly.

THE PICK: I think matchups are what win NFL games and the Giants match up quite well against the Patriots’ strengths. I see Manning hitting a couple of long touchdown passes and the pass rush to be just good enough to slow down, but not stop, Brady. Giants 27, Patriots 21.

Also check out:

• Tony Dungy promotes ‘pro-family’ alternative halftime show
• The hottest players in the Super Bowl
• Rob Gronkowski has huge…hands
• Real Housewives of South Boston have Super bowl message
• Football as homoerotic ritual. Are players really gay?
• GLSEN anti-bullying PSA at Super Bowl
• Gayest Super Bowl halftime shows
• David Beckham’s Super Bowl ad: fear of the bulge
• Madonna ‘Bringing gay to the Super Bowl’?

Share on Facebook

Hot player of the week

The conference title games look even; Packers fall apart; Ravens get lucky; Tebow still stinks; Alex Smith shines; homoerotic quote of the week; hot player of the week.

How I saw the divisional round of the NFL playoffs.

In the upcoming championship games, the home Patriots are favored by 7 ½ over the Ravens and the home 49ers by 3 over the Giants, but I see both games as essentially toss-ups. Both road teams match up very well, so any outcome next week would not surprise me. My early read:

In the AFC, New England clearly looked better in winning this weekend than did Baltimore, but it is always dangerous to make predictions based on earlier playoff games; if that was always predictive, the Saints would still be playing since they looked unstoppable a week ago. The Ravens have a terrific defense and blew out the Pats in playoffs in Foxboro two year ago, so they will not fear traveling there.

In addition, the Ravens will be able to move the ball against the Pats, minimizing the time Tom Brady is on the field. Brady has proven to be shaky against a good pass rush and the Ravens have the ability to bring it. I am very tempted to pick the Ravens, but I can’t see a QB with a Fu Manchu in the Super Bowl. Patriots 24, Ravens 20.

In the NFC, the surprise 49ers host the surprise Giants, when the public was expecting a Saints-Packers matchup. Flip a coin on the winner here and it will come down to which team makes fewer mistakes (a cliché, but nonetheless true). I am not betting against Eli Manning in a big game. Giants 23, 49ers 20.

Flameout: Green Bay really stunk it up in its 37-20 loss to the Giants. All credit to the Giants for a terrific defensive game plan that frustrated Aaron Rodgers, but the Pack did themselves in. They had eight dropped passes and twice Rodgers missed huge throws that would have changed the complexion of the game. Add in three fumbles lost (a fourth one was missed by the refs), shoddy tackling and a stunning defensive collapse at the end of the first half and you had a total team effort.

Michael Philbin, the son of Packers offensive coordinator Joe Philbin drowned last week and I wonder how much that affected the team, since they looked out of sync from the start. It’s hard to comprehend such a tragedy and coming so close to the game had to have an impact.  I remember how poorly the 2005 Colts played in their playoff loss to the Steelers, in the first meaningful game since coach Tony Dungy’s son killed himself. These tragedies put the game into perspective, but it’s hard not to wonder how much they matter once kickoff comes.

One and done: This marks the sixth time in seven years (2009 being the exception) that one of the two top seeds lost its playoff opener. I think it shows how competitive the league is in the era of free agency, since years ago the top seeds almost always advanced at least one round. It also shows that records can mask how close teams are – the Packers were 15-1 and the Giants 9-7, yet in their regular season meeting the Packers needed to rally to win 38-35.

Phil Simms Homoerotic Quote of the Weekend: This used to be a regular feature when I watched a lot of regular season Sunday games in their entirety, but that only happens with the Colts so I don’t hear Simms as much and I am often flipping from game to game on Directv. But my friend Matthew caught this in Saturday’s Patriots-Broncos game from Simms: “Penetration, that’s what hurts.”

Amateurish: If the Texans had anyone other than a rookie playing QB, they would have beaten the Ravens. But T.J. Yates was awful, throwing three interceptions despite his defense playing magnificently. I couldn’t stop screaming at the TV when the Ravens were on offense for their pathetic play calling, which had the mediocre Joe Flacco constantly throwing instead of riding Ray Rice, their best offensive player.

I could go on and on, but this one sequence was typical: Up 17-13 with three minutes left, the Ravens had second-and-5 at the Houston 26. The Texans had already used one timeout and two more runs would have made them use them all and could have gotten the Ravens a clinching first down. But the Ravens had Flacco throw two passes, none of them anywhere near on target and settle for a field goal. What’s worse is that the incompletions burned only eight seconds and allowed Houston to keep its two remaining timeouts. Yates threw an interception on the final drive, but it was the piss-poor Ravens play calling that gave the Texans even a chance to tie the score.

Done with Tebow: I vow not to write anything about Tim Tebow until next season unless he says something about gay issues. Suffice it to say, he stunk in Denver’s 45-10 blowout loss at New England, but the Broncos are stuck with him as their starter since he just “wins” and the fans will demand he get a chance to lead the team a full season. While it’s possible he could improve in the offseason, I think not. He is not a passer (only twice has he completed more than 50% of his passes) and no NFL team will consistently win with the option, which is what he is suited for. Denver won’t be making any playoff run in 2012.

Alex Smith

Thriller: The 49ers’ 36-32 win over the Saints was one of the greatest playoff games ever, especially the wild final four minutes that saw four touchdowns and four lead changes. I was really happy for 49ers QB Alex Smith, a total hottie who I hear is an incredibly nice person. He was awesome down the stretch and he was so cute wearing his name tag on his shirt in the postgame press conference. Before the season, coach Jim Harbaugh had given all players a blue-collar shirt with their name tag to symbolize team unity, but it looked more like a bowling shirt.

It’s funny to hear the contrasts in the radio calls on the winning TD. The 49ers team is ecstatic and screaming while the Saints announcer sounds like he called a TD in an exhibition game:

Hot player of the week: Vernon Davis, the 49ers tight end who caught the winning TD pass against the Saints, has an amazing body. Search “Vernon Davis workout” and you can find several article and more photos. Unlike some jocks who eat crap and still are lean, Davis follows a strict diet:

“Usually, I’ll have egg whites, turkey sausage, fruit, and oatmeal for breakfast. For lunch I’ll have some grilled chicken or a turkey burger with veggies, fruit and wheat bread. Between lunch and dinner it’s often a protein bar, and then my evening meal is pretty much the same as lunch.”

It was cool seeing him cry after catching the game-winner, since it shows he’s not only hot, he’s not afraid to show his vulnerable side.

Share on Facebook

I went 3-1 in picking wild card weekend, missing the Broncos-Steelers game. I am not getting wild with any picks this weekend, favoring only one underdog.

NFC, Saturday: Saints (14-3) at 49ers (13-3). Saints favored by 3.

The Niners are an understandable home underdog. It’s their first playoff game since 2002 and the Saints have scored 42, 45, 45 and 45 in their last four games. But … all four of those games were indoors, three at home and one at 3-13 Minnesota. In their last outdoor game, the Saints barely held off the Titans, 22-17. And any team that lost to the Rams, like the Saints did, is no sure thing on the road. The 49ers have a terrific defense that will slow down Drew Brees and an offense that can play ball control against a weak New Orleans defense. In an upset, 49ers 23, Saints 20.

AFC, Saturday: Broncos (9-8) at Patriots (13-3). Patriots favored by 13 1/2.

Ugh! Tim Tebow vs. Tom Brady. Jesus’ QB against the team I hate the most.  It’s like getting a meal choice of liver ice cream or pig’s feet pizza; either one will make you puke. I hope Tebow strains a muscle while pregame Tebowing and the sexy Brady Quinn comes off the bench.

The Broncos have a puncher’s chance in this one. The Patriots have a crappy defense and they fell behind 17-0 and 21-0 in their last two games before rallying against weak teams. The Broncos scored 23 on them a few weeks ago and three fumbles turned a close game into a rout. But any way I dissect it, I can’t see a Denver win. Patriots 34, Broncos 16.

AFC, Sunday: Texans (11-6) at Ravens (12-4). Ravens favored by 7 1/2.

The Texans won their first playoff game as a franchise last week, but run into a buzz saw in Baltimore. The Ravens finally have a home game after three years as a wild card, and they went 8-0 at home this season. The Texans have a shaky rookie QB in T.J. Yates and the Ravens have an erratic QB in four-year starter Joe Flacco. But Baltimore’s defense will dictate this game and no way they lose at home to a rookie. Ravens 30, Texans 10.

NFC, Sunday: Giants (10-7) at Packers (15-1). Packers favored by 7 1/2.

The Packers needed a last-minute TD drive to beat the Giants, 38-35, in Week 13. This has many people conjuring up memories of 2007, when the Giants beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl a few weeks after losing 38-35 to close the regular season. A hot Eli Manning and stellar pass rush were the keys then and are supposed to be the keys now. But I don’t buy it. The 2007 Pats were playing on fumes and this year’s Packers are rested, healthy and at home after a bye. And Manning didn’t exactly light it up against the Falcons last week. Green Bay is simply too good, especially at Lambeau in January. Packers 38, Giants 17.

Share on Facebook

Share on Facebook

I know you’ll be kicking back in your big pearly throne this Sunday afternoon to watch the New England Patriots take on the Denver Broncos. And who can blame you? Sure, there’s poverty in Africa. Yes, there are floods in the Philippines. Wars in the Middle East? Who cares! You’ve got Tebowmania!

But I’m praying to you now, God, to ask you to choose the Patriots to beat the Broncos this Sunday. The Anointed One has told us that you choose the outcomes of NFL games, and there are good reasons to choose the Patriots in Denver.

If the Broncos beat the Patriots, 100% of the credit will be given to Tebow. All of the interceptions the defense gets and the yards racked up by the running backs…all because of Tebow. 59-yard field goals? Tebow. He will be lifted up like no other before him. And some people will say he is God himself! It was one thing to beat the injury-plagued Raiders and the injury-plagued Bears and the injury-plagued Chargers. It was brilliant of you to force so many starting quarterbacks and running backs to the sideline to make way for Tebow. But if you choose him to beat the Patriots, people will get confused and think he isn’t just a disciple of you…but IS you. And you don’t want to create that kind of confusion, do you?

The Patriots quarterback is Tom Brady, who once appeared in a magazine holding a goat. And you love shepherds! They came to the birth of your son, Jesus Christ, in Bethlehem. They risked losing their flocks to witness the baby laying in a manger; After 2000 years, isn’t it time to pay back the shepherds for their trouble by having Brady win this game?

Where were the Tebows when your son was born? Plotting against you, I assure you. Tebow’s parents named one of Tim’s brothers Peter. Peter! Of all the names to choose, only Judas would have been more indicative of their true intentions! Peter, who denied your son three times in the court of the high priest! I understand you are a forgiving god…but do you reward those who raise up the name of he who denied your son? It is blasphemy!

Tebow says he prays to you during the games that you will block field goal attempts and cause fumbles. And you have! You have shown your incredible power to change the outcomes of football games! I didn’t believe you would do so, but divine intervention is the only way a quarterback as bad as Tebow could possibly win one game in the NFL, let alone seven!

But in doing so, you have rewarded a man who defies your word. In the Beatitudes you specifically say that people shouldn’t pray in public but should go into their room, “close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.” Well I am in my room, with the door closed, praying to you now. Would you answer the over-the-top public prayers of Tebow, whom you call a hypocrite, or grant the request of this humble man in his small room?

You also talk about rewarding the meek. You don’t get more meek than Patriots coach Bill Belichick! He doesn’t seek out cameras or microphones, he quietly goes about his business. You can even hear his distaste for media attention when the microphones and cameras find him. But Tebow  seeks out the attention. He is the furthest thing from “meek” you have put on this earth. This is your opportunity to show the world that you will choose the meek, quiet and humble over the loud and boisterous!

So you can see, dear God, that a victory for the New England Patriots over the Denver Broncos would be an incredible statement of your power and your vision for this world. So I ask you to please turn those missed field goals and fumbles the way of the Broncos this weekend. As Tebow has told us over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again, I realize the outcome of the game is entirely in your hands.

And thank you, in advance, for averting the national crisis that a Broncos victory would create.

Share on Facebook

The Broncos win again in bizarre fashion; the Cowboys lose again bizarre fashion; Packers closing in on perfection; four wild endings; hot player of the week.

How I saw Week 14 of the NFL:

This is getting ridiculous – now the opposing team has bought into Tebowmania. How else to explain Denver’s 13-10 overtime win over Chicago? It was Denver’s sixth straight win and made Tebow 7-1 as a starter. It lifted the Broncos to 8-5 and the lead in the AFC West.

The game basically came down to Chicago’s Marion Barber making a monumental gaffe by forgetting to fall down. The Bears (7-6) had the ball 2nd and 10 at midfield with two minutes left and Denver out of timeouts. Barber took a handoff and ran to the left side. If he slides short of the sidelines, the clock continues to run and Denver would have at most 30 seconds left to drive the length of the field for a chance to tie. But Barber, for some reason known only to him, ran out of bounds, giving Denver an additional minute.

Tebow, who stunk for 3 ½ quarters, got hot and moved Denver into field goal position. Matt Prater drilled a 59-yarder (it would have been good from 70) and we went into overtime. On the Bears’ first possession, Barber struck again. He had a first down in sight on a run at the Denver 30 when he fumbled and the Broncos recovered. We all knew what was going to happen next – Tebow drove the Broncos to the Bears 34 and Prater kicked a 51-yard field goal to win it.

Watching Tebow, as Billy Witz of Fox told me, is like watching an NBA game – you only have to watch the last five minutes and you’ve seen the game. The Bears-Broncos game was 0-0 well into the third and set back offensive football 75 years. But the final few minutes were highly dramatic and added to the Tebow mystique.

Denver now has a clear shot of winning the AFC West, with its final two games at Buffalo (5-8) and home to Kansas City (5-8). Looming next, though, is a home date with the Patriots (10-3). Tebow vs. Tom Brady – CBS has a ratings woody anticipating this one.

Our friend Joe in Philly posted this on Facebook, summing up a lot of people’s thoughts on Tebowmania:

Chicago Bears, I despise you. You’re just letting that damn Tebow win again. WTF IS WRONG WITH THE ENTIRE NFL LETTING THIS BOOB WIN?????

Cowboys choke: Tony Romo is the anti-Tebow.  The Cowboys (7-6) blew a 12-point lead with five minutes to go and lost a thriller to the Giants (7-6), 37-34. For the second week in a row, Cowboys kicker Dan Bailey made a field goal on the last play of regulation — last week’s would have won at Arizona, this week’s would have sent the game into overtime.

But like last week, the kick didn’t count because a coach called a timeout right before the snap. Last week, it was Jason Garrett, his coach, and this week it was the Giants’ Tom Coughlin. Both times Bailey missed the second kick and the Cowboys suffered another gruesome loss. It left the Giants and Cowboys tied for first in the NFC East with three games left. Eli Manning continues to show that there is no better QB in the fourth quarter. And Romo seems to always not be quite good enough (still not sure how he missed a wide-open Miles Austin that would have clinched the Giants game).

13-0: The Packers (13-0) remained perfect by blowing out the Raiders (7-6). I think the Packers will go 16-0. They will easily beat Kansas City next week on the road, then have Chicago (no offense) and Detroit (no discipline) at home to close out the season. If the Packers win next week, they will clinch home field advantage in the playoffs, so they could take their foot off the gas in the final two weeks. But they are so tough to beat at home that I think they will win out even if they play a lot of backups.

With New England going 16-0 in 2007 and the Colts and Saints going 14-0 and 13-0 to start 2009, the Packers’ run doesn’t have the same wow factor. And going unbeaten in the regular season means zilch once the playoffs start. The Pack is still the odds-on favorite, though, to become the first repeat champ since 2004.

Thrillers: There were four great endings in the early games – Patriots 34, Redskins 27; Texans 20, Bengals 19; Lions 34, Vikings 28 and Saints 22, Titans 17. All four came down to basically the final play with one team inside their opponents’ 10.

The Patriots (10-3) survived when the tying-touchdown pass by the Redskins (4-9) was called back for offensive pass interference. Two plays later, Rex Grossman hit Santana Moss in the hands at the 5. Moss, in the seasonal spirit of giving, scooped it forward where it was intercepted by Jerod Mayo. New England’s defense once again played like crap for large chunks of the game, only to be bailed out at the end by a turnover. If the Patriots were to win the Super Bowl, they would have done it with perhaps the worst defense ever for a champion. It’s no wonder Tom Brady seems wound extra tight this year (he and his offensive coordinator got into a sidelines shouting match); if he is not on his game, the Patriots have no chance.

The Texans (10-3) won the AFC South and clinched their first playoff spot in team history with a last-play win at Cincinnati (7-6) on a pass from third-string QB T.J. Yates to uber-hot Kevin Walter. The loss was a killer for the Bengals’ playoff chances, dropping them a game behind the Jets (8-5) for the final wild card slot. I still don’t buy Yates being able to do much in the playoffs, but the Texans will have a home playoff game. Their final three games – Carolina, at Indianapolis, Tennessee – are all winnable and the Texans might wind up with a bye.

The Lions (8-5) took an enormous step to a wild card spot by hanging on against the 2-11 Vikings, with a huge thanks to the refs. On what was the final play, Vikings QB Joe Webb lost a fumble with the ball at the Detroit 1. However, the officials missed an obvious face-mask call against the Lions, that had it been called would have given the Vikings one untimed down. Penalties can’t be reviewed, and for that reason the Lions avoided blowing a game they once led 21-0.

The Saints (10-3) kept their hopes for a first-round playoff bye alive by surviving against the Titans (7-6) and rookie QB Jake Locker. The Titans had three shots from the Saints’ 5 but Locker threw two incompletions and was sacked on the last play. The Saints look unbeatable at home but are just 4-3 on the road; no team in the league needs a home playoff game and a bye more than New Orleans, which I think won’t be able to win two consecutive road games in January. The 49ers’ loss at Arizona left the Niners and Saints tied at 10-3, with San Francisco holding the tiebreaker for now.

Spread ‘em: The only moment of drama in the Ravens’ 24-10 win over the Colts (0-13) came on the last play. Down 24-3, the Colts had the ball inside the Ravens’ 10. The game was over unless you were a bettor. The Ravens (10-3) were favored by 16 and were covering. But on the final, meaningless play of the game, the Colts scored a touchdown and covered the spread. That howl of pain you heard was anyone who had bet the Ravens. That’s one reason I don’t bet money on NFL games any more.

Leaderless: The Colts have not led at any point in a game since Week 5 against the Chiefs, eight full games. This is a stunning stat, courtesy of the Indianapolis Star:

It’s the longest such streak in one season since the 1943 Chicago Cardinals also failed to lead in eight straight games, according to the Elias Sports Bureau. They finished that season 0-10.

Anti-Seahawks bias: I got this email this week from Thomas in Seattle. It was an awesome takedown of my ignoring the Seahawks all season:

Reading your recap of NFL week 13, I noticed something I call “The Seahawks effect on Outsports.” I live in Washington state and am a Seahawks fan, despite the futility of it all. I don’t blame you for not giving them much space on your website this season. Many of their wins come against equally hapless teams.

However, I noticed when the Seahawks lose, they get at least some mention in your recaps in all but two instances so far.  But when the Seahawks win, they aren’t mentioned at all.  No worries – I’m not upset considering their performance.  But the coincidence is still interesting.

Week 1 – LOSS – “Alex Smith was efficient in the 49ers’ 33-17 win over Seattle”

Week 2 – LOSS – “The Steelers, meanwhile, basically had a bye, shutting out Seattle”

Week 3 – WIN – No mention, except for recounting week 2′s game vs. Pittsburgh

Week 4 – LOSS – “Seahawks are 1-3″

Week 5 – WIN – No recap; no mention

Week 6 – BYE

Week 7 – LOSS – No mention

Week 8 – LOSS – “the Bengals have won four in a row, but three have come against the Jaguars, Colts and Seahawks”

Week 9 – LOSS – “2-6 Seahawks, Panthers, Vikings, Jaguars and Cardinals within striking distance”

Week 10 – WIN – No mention

Week 11 – WIN – No mention

Week 12 – LOSS – No mention

Week 13 – WIN – No mention

Seattle won’t get a mention again this week since they play Monday night.

Hot player of the week: This one is in honor of Texas Daytripper, a longtime Outsports reader and Houston Texans fan. He wrote this earlier this week –

“If you know me, my favorite player is Owen Daniels of the Houston Texans. This evening I got to see my favorite player and had him autograph his replica jersey for me. He’s really handsome and I just adore his smile. Here’s about the best shot I got of him.”:

Share on Facebook

But the reason the Patriots aren’t running away with the AFC East isn’t the defense or Bill Belichick…it’s Tom Brady.

Yes, he of a unanimous MVP award. He of three Super Bowl rings. He of the hot-model wife and hot-actress baby-mama. The guy with the once-flowing locks is why the New York Jets “should” bury the Patriots this Sunday, just five weeks after losing to them in Foxboro.

Crazy, right? Not if you’ve been watching the games.

In the loss to the Giants last week, the Patriots defense pitched a shutout in the first half. Does Brady take advantage of the goose-egg for the Giants? His first-half possessions: punt, punt, interception, punt, punt, missed field goal. Brady had the ball for six full possessions and managed…zero points.

No problem, right? We’ve gotten used to the Patriots’ offense coming out of the locker room to start the second half with great success. Instead, against the Giants Brady decided to force a throw into a blanketed Rob Gronkowski…intercepted. The defense held the Giants to only a field goal.

Next possession, Brady is pressured…and fumbles the ball at the Patriots’ 10-yard line. The defense can’t hold this time and the Giants score a touchdown.

Next possession, Brady leads a three-and-out…but gets bailed out by Patriots defensive player Rob Ninkovich when he recovers a muffed punt.

For all the talk about how horrible the Patriots’ defense is, they’ve allowed over 25 points only once this season. Against the Giants, the defense was on the field for 13 drives. They allowed the Giants to score only four times, and one of those scoring drives started on their own 10-yard line (thanks, again, to Brady).

Admittedly, against the Steelers the defense was on the field for far too long. But for how bad they looked, Brady was worse. Brady had the ball eight times in that game; He scored only three times, and one of the two touchdowns came because the Patriots defense started him on the Steelers 8-yard line.

What’s happened to Tom Terrific? That’s the $14 million question. It certainly seems like something in practice isn’t translating to the field. Maybe he switched to decaf this season. Could be that there was a problem installing the pool in his $20M Los Angeles mansion. Maybe the Dunkies around the corner closed? I don’t know.

But one thing’s for sure: Tommy doesn’t like to play against man defense. When facing a zone a quarterback can sit back and throw to the open space; that’s what Brady likes, sit back and wait for his offensive coordinator to get a receiver wide open for him. Against man defense, he has to zip the ball to the perfect spot. Brady can’t – or won’t – zip that ball this season.

Man defenses houldn’t be a problem for the Patriots, with the speed of Wes Welker and Danny Woodhead and Gronkowski and Chad Ochocinco. These guys can get open against a man defense. And they did against the Giants.

Ochocinco ran a beautiful post that got two steps on his defender…but Tommy threw it well behind right to the defender (who dropped the ball). On another play Welker got free…and Brady threw an inexplicably bad pass. It happened throughout the game.

Something clearly changed when Brady injured his knee in 2008. He hasn’t been the same since, and in no area is that more noticeable than his deep balls. The deep passes were so bad last year, and Brady was so addicted to them, that the organization had to get rid of Randy Moss to convince Brady to stop throwing deep. Experts claim the Patriots don’t have a deep threat – but when Ochocinco broke into the end zone with a two-step lead on a beautiful post pattern against the Giants, it wasn’t No. 85 who threw the ball well behind him into the defender’s hands.

We’ve seen this poor play coming for years. The Patriots’ last three playoff games dating back to 2007 – two of them at home – have all been losses. Did you see those passes Brady threw to the fan in the front row trying to hit Welker on an out-pattern in the Super Bowl? Or that interception to David Harris in the playoff loss to the New York Jets last season?

Six years ago, with worse receivers, Brady didn’t make those mistakes. He’s making them now.

To be sure, the Patriots’ defense isn’t great. But it should be serviceable for a team with supposedly one of the greatest quarterbacks of all time. That defense has allowed 184 points this season; The Packers’ defense has allowed 179 points. The difference that has the Packers undefeated and the Patriots staring at a three-game losing streak isn’t just five points…It’s the quarterback.

The Packers’ record when the defense allows more than 25 points: 3-0.

“Brady can’t carry the team! You can’t expect him to be perfect!”

No, you can’t. You can’t expect anyone to be perfect. But when one player makes 11% of the team’s salary cap and touches the ball virtually every offensive play, you can expect that player to be Terrific. Yet with every game this season, memories of “Tom Terrific” fade more into the distant past…

Share on Facebook