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Anthony
Castro, R.I.P.
A
tribute to a friend and an athlete
By
Jim Buzinski
Discuss this article
Also:
ESPN article 'The brilliant life of Anthony Castro'
It's hard
to write about a friend who has just died, but people need
to know about Anthony Castro, killed in a crash in the
Southern California mountains on Jan. 21. He was 19.
 Anthony
was that rarest of people – an athlete out to his team. In
Anthony's case, he was out in high school to his football
and wrestling teams, our two most macho team sports. It took
guts to take such a step but Anthony never thought too much
about it – he was not ashamed of who he was and if you were
uncomfortable, that was your problem.
My favorite
Anthony story involves his senior year of wrestling. A
fellow wrestler used to make snide homophobic remarks to
Anthony.
Rather than
file a complaint with the school, Anthony addressed the
problem head on – he challenged the wrestler to a
put-up-or-shut-up match. It didn't take very long, as
Anthony had the guy pinned in about 20 seconds. That stopped
the heckling and Anthony told me the guy quit the team.
Anthony was
not a student in some L.A. Westside hotbed of tolerance.
Rather, he lived in Banning, two hours east of L.A. in the
desert and a rather "red" part of a very "blue" state. Being
out in Banning, a pretty rough place, takes some big
cojones.
I first met
Anthony in November 2005, when I received an e-mail from him
about playing for our L.A. Motion gay flag football team.
"Hi, I'm
Anthony. I live in Banning, California.
I am a gay athlete and still in high school. … With no
other gay jocks, I feel like I am the only one and it sucks
cause I don't know any other guys that are gay and like me.
I play football, basketball, track, cheerleading and swim. I
have been playing football since I was five. I am the tight
end for my high school, free safety and kickoff and punt returner. I don't know why I told you this but there you go.
LOL. You guys are the closest to me and I figured if I was
going to be moving down there, I should find out about
things that are going on what are the age limits that you
guys need to join."
At first I
thought the letter was a prank – the odds of an openly gay
high school player in Banning seemed remote and Outsports
does get the crank e-mail from time to time. But I wrote him
back with sincerity and was surprised when he showed up, as
promised, a few days later. He had a build more like a
linebacker than quarterback, but in just a few plays I could
tell he had great skills. I could also tell he was a bit
awed to be playing football with a bunch of openly gay
guys.
"It was
really fun," he wrote me a few days after his first game. "I
told my wrestling coach that we better not have practice on
Saturdays. He said why, so I told him I joined a gay flag
football team. So he said don't worry we won't. So he was
cool and I like it because it is fun playing with all you
guys."
We then saw
him virtually every week from then on and he showed a
commitment that is rare. He was always the first to arrive
despite driving two hours to get there. He
especially liked the fact that he could be himself, flirt if
he wanted and not have to worry about it. He took a liking
to one of our players, JP, and they used to kid each other
all the time about JP being a senior citizen (32 looks like
that to an 18-year-old).
"Hey, Mr.
Hit Young Guy in the Nuts," he wrote JP after one game when
JP guarded him and things got a bit rough. "Well, it was fun
playing football, even though you hit me in the nuts. By the
way, they still hurt like hell. Hope your boyfriend hits you
in the nuts or something."
Like most
single 18-year-olds, Anthony was always on the prowl and
would write me "woe is me" e-mails as he pined for someone
new who showed up at football. "I am not going to let him
score on me unless it's in bed," he wrote about one lust
object who was guarding him one week. His e-mails were
always a highlight for me and I felt like a big brother to
him.
He also had
a turbulent upbringing. He told me his mom rejected him for
a time because he was gay, even though she lives with a
woman (I never figured that one out). He wrote about seeing
his dad in jail and having a relative with AIDS. He wound up
living with a legal guardian, Phil, who had a tremendously
positive influence on him and was a key support for Anthony
on and off the field.
Football
was always a refuge for him, even as he endured tragedy. "I
am not doing so good," he wrote me last winter. "Two of my
friends were shot and killed 2 days ago and another friend
was jumped badly. I don't know what the world is coming to
these days. I have been trying to not think about it, but it
is hard. I mean, those are guys I helped out and had them
play football to stay out of trouble. I wish I could have
been there for them. The guys came from rough lives and they
told me playing football helped them out a lot to not think
about drugs or anything. I am a little sad. Hopefully
football will help take my mind off it."
 One
day at football last spring, he introduced me to a friend he
had brought, Cody, a handsome, athletic 24-year-old. "He's
straight," Anthony whispered to me. Minutes later, I saw
Anthony lying on the sidelines in Cody's lap, soaking up the
SoCal sun. Straight, my ass! Cody was Anthony's new
boyfriend and I could tell he was beaming. They were perfect
for each other and quickly fell in love.
I knew
things were serious when Anthony called me one Saturday to
say he was going to miss football – he and Cody were going
to Disneyland. A second time when they skipped football, JP
wrote me sarcastically but with affection: "Lame excuse.
I'm a lawyer and I can smell BS stories a mile away. This
kid was sitting at home with his new love."
Anthony and
Cody quickly became fixtures at football and the other
players gravitated towards them. They were fun and full of
life and love, and Anthony (who could be grumpy at times)
was a much looser person with Cody. When Cyd and I picked
our Outsports flag football team for the 2006 Gay Games,
Anthony was one of the first people invited.
The Gay
Games were something special for Anthony. He was going to
play in a tournament with other gay athletes and he could
bring his boyfriend along without fear or shame. Younger
than everyone else by six years, he became our team's little
brother.
On the
field at the Gay Games, Anthony was a star. Playing receiver
and defensive back, he caught the go-ahead touchdown in the
gold medal game, and added an interception in the end zone
to boot. In a close win a day earlier he made a catch on
fourth down that was so amazing that people just screamed
"that's sick!" when he came down with it. Watching Anthony
receive his gold medal from teammate Esera Tuaolo gave me
goose bumps; two out jocks, separated by a generation but
bonded nonetheless.
Anthony
loved USC football, his 1999 Mazda Miata 10th anniversary
edition, his No. 10 jersey and postgame trips to Tommy's burgers with Cody. I will miss him
terribly.
A week before his death, Anthony was accepted to the Fashion
Institute of Design and Merchandising in Los Angeles.
A memorial service was held for Anthony at Banning
High School on Jan. 26. An estimated 500 people attended. The
principal of Banning read aloud a love letter
from Cody to Anthony. Michael Anthony Castro was buried Jan.
30 in Santa Ana, Calif.
Photos of Anthony Castro by Brent Mullins
Discuss this article
Jan. 24, 2007
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