I started
diving when I was about 12, having a background in
gymnastics while growing up on the South Island of New
Zealand. I think subconsciously I knew I was gay from that
age, as I always used to admire and check out guys' bodies.
I think diving and gymnastics required a great deal of
strength, agility and flexibility, so guys were generally
very well toned and built.
While
I was aware that gymnastics and diving were not exactly
"macho sports" I was also a bit puzzled, because it seemed
to me that, at age 12, the athletes I trained with were a
lot stronger than the average male of that age.
At 13, I quit gymnastics, and focused solely on diving, and
within a year I competed at the World Junior Championships
in Guangzhou (China). At the time, I thought about guys
sexually, but it didn't occur to me that I might be gay. I
think I was too young to understand what that really meant.
I remember reading Greg Louganis' autobiography, and clearly
felt similar feelings at the same age as he did, but didn't
clarify it.
I didn't compete particularly well in my first world
championships, finishing somewhere between 20th and 30th.
But it was my first real exposure to sexy guys from all over
the world, and I believe I may have been checking them out
more than focusing on my own performances!
My other big achievements in diving were making the final of
the World Championships in the Czech Republic and finishing
in the Top 20 in 1999. I also finished in the Top 20 in
World Cup events between 1998 and 2002. In 1998, I won a
silver medal in the Australia Open, finishing behind Matthew
Helm, who went on to win an Olympics silver medal in Athens
in 2004.
My competitive diving career at the elite level was cut
short in 2002 when a spinal fracture forced me to quit. I
had injured myself at a competition two years earlier and
was never able to reach my previous peak competitively.
My sexuality became clearer to me as I got into my teenage
years. However, I never had any sexual contact with guys --
besides a few sly kisses -- until 2003, when I was 22. While
diving was not particularly homophobic, and it seemed
apparent that a lot of guys were gay or bi, they did not
advertise it. I guess I believed I was going to be one of
those guys who got married, had children, and had random sex
behind my wife's back.
I totally confirmed my sexuality to myself in 2004 at the
university where I was working as a tutor in social
geography. I was teaching issues relating to sexuality, when
in front of a class it suddenly dawned on me that I was gay.
What a time to realize it! Initially, it was very difficult
to get my head around, but within a year I had accepted it
myself, and had the courage to tell my parents and my
closest friends. While my parents and guy mates were quite
surprised, many of my girl mates said they knew all along.
I never witnessed any homophobic episodes while diving. I
guess Louganis shut everyone up by being the best diver of
all time, and also stating that he is gay. Looking back, I
wish I had realized I was gay during my diving years. So
many hot boys, and so many good times could have been had!
At that stage, I was having sex with girls. Looking back,
I'm not sure I would have "come out," but I surely would
have been looking to play on the sly!
When I quit diving in 2002, I was devastated, as I was still
so young. I still had a lot to achieve, and it really
frustrated me that I had fractured my spine. I never thought
I'd compete again.
In 2005, one of my best friends Marc-Andre (who was also
gay) died of leiomyosarcoma, a very rare soft tissue cancer,
at 25. I had been to Canada and visited him two years
earlier, and he had come out to me at the time. I'm sure he
was very relieved with my kind reaction. Although I knew
that I was gay, I wasn't ready to tell him. He was involved
in politics in Quebec, and was supportive of hosting the
2006 Outgames in Montreal, and I promised him I'd compete in
this competition whether he was there to see me or not.
After he died I was determined to keep my promise to him and
began training.
Getting to Montreal from New Zealand was expensive (the
whole trip cost $5,000) and I was trying to find creative
ways to raise money, so I offered to wear any sponsor's
products. An article in GayNZ.com summed up my feelings:
"I’m pretty open-minded and easy to please. I’ll do pretty
much whatever a sponsor would like. I’ll be an ambassador
for a product or theme, wear your label on my Speedos and
swimming cap, plus my towels, training bag, and other gear.
I’m also looking for a New Zealand flag to carry." Overall,
I raised the $5,000 and was on my way.
Competing in the Outgames was an awesome experience. It's my
impression that the standard of competition was very high,
and it seems common for gay men to be attracted to artistic
and elegant sports like diving. The environment was
competitive, but fun and supportive; people were not cold
like in other big events I had competed in. Winning three
gold medals was awesome, as friends and family of my
Marc-Andre came to root me on. Two of my good friends from
New Zealand, who also knew Marc-Andre, also came to watch me
compete. I gave his family one of my gold medals to put
beside his photograph in their lounge.
In
Montreal I was amazed by the diversity of competitors --
young, old, bisexual, gay, transsexual, individuals from
very repressive nations, individuals from very free nations.
Some people might think the games were an event where young
egocentric men want to show off their bodies, but looking
beyond that their was an amazing amount of things to learn
from other people. I don't know if it is my background
interest in social geography, but I love hearing about gay
events and culture in other nations, and the experiences
people had had when coming out. In my opinion, my coming out
story was probably a lot easier than what a lot of others
had experienced.
I wish that more gay men would come out in all sports and I
wish I had done so while competing. I know several divers
who achieved a lot more in the sport than I did, but will
probably never openly acknowledge that they are gay, which
is a shame. I am sure that 30% of male divers are gay.
Taking a look at major sports like tennis, soccer and rugby,
you hear rumors about players all the time, and if 1 in 10
people are gay, there should be thousands of role models.
It's sadly not the case at this stage, but I hope that will
change as things become more and more accepted.
Since I came out, I have been involved in
several campaigns encouraging gay guys to use
condoms and have safe sex, and have done some modeling in
gay magazines. It's so much nicer to be open about who I am,
and have cool people to share it with.
Simon
Latimer, 25, lives in Auckland, New Zealand. He can be
reached at
slatimer@ihug.co.nz. You can watch
two of his dives at the Outgames on YouTube.
Simon
Latimer diving photo from the Outgames by Cyd Zeigler /
Outsports.
While
I was aware that gymnastics and diving were not exactly
"macho sports" I was also a bit puzzled, because it seemed
to me that, at age 12, the athletes I trained with were a
lot stronger than the average male of that age.
In
Montreal I was amazed by the diversity of competitors --
young, old, bisexual, gay, transsexual, individuals from
very repressive nations, individuals from very free nations.
Some people might think the games were an event where young
egocentric men want to show off their bodies, but looking
beyond that their was an amazing amount of things to learn
from other people. I don't know if it is my background
interest in social geography, but I love hearing about gay
events and culture in other nations, and the experiences
people had had when coming out. In my opinion, my coming out
story was probably a lot easier than what a lot of others
had experienced.