Mike Penner,
longtime writer and columnist for the Los Angeles Times, has
come out in the paper as a transsexual, Christine Daniels.
"Today I
leave for a few weeks' vacation," Penner
wrote in a column that ran on Page 2 of the Times sports
section "and when I return, I will come back in yet another
incarnation.
"As
Christine.
"I am a transsexual sportswriter. It has taken more than 40
years, a million tears and hundreds of hours of
soul-wrenching therapy for me to work up the courage to type
those words. I realize many readers and colleagues and
friends will be shocked to read them."
In the
column, Penner describes the mental anguish as he came to
grips with what he had been fighting for more than 40 years:
"As extensive therapy and testing have confirmed, my brain
was wired female.
"A transgender friend provided the best and simplest
explanation I have heard: We are born with this, we fight it
as long as we can, and in the end it wins.
"I gave it as good a fight as I possibly could. I went more
than 40 hard rounds with it. Eventually, though, you realize
you are only fighting yourself and your happiness and your
mental health -- a no-win situation any way you look at
it."
While
Penner was aware of his true nature for years, the actual
transition to becoming a transsexual has occurred over the
past year or so. Last year, the columnist was hospitalized
with a heart condition and shortly after his recovery he
started coming out to select friends. The first he told was
Billy Witz, a sportswriter for the Los Angeles Daily News,
who has known Penner for more than 12 years.
"In the
last year or so, he had undergone heart surgery and he told
me he was dealing with depression," Witz told Outsports.
"Never in a million years did I think the depression was
related" to his gender identity. Penner was too afraid to
tell Witz in person, instead sending him a packet that
contained a letter along with information on being a
transsexual. Two months later Witz and sportswriter Chris
Foster went to lunch together in Long Beach with the
columnist, one of his first public appearances with friends as
Christine.
"He
described it as one of the happiest days of his life," Witz
recalled. "She was just able to be herself in public with
good friends of hers. … At one point, the waitress came over
to our table and told [Christine], 'My gosh, you have such
beautiful blue eyes.' You could have knocked her over with a
feather."
Witz says
that Christine and Mike are like two different people.
"Mike has
always been a very introspective, quiet person," Witz said.
"Now I would say she's quite outgoing. [A few months ago]
she performed a '60s soul routine with a group of friends,
where she was really dressed up and lip-synching Diana Ross
tunes. Never in a million years would Mike have done
anything like that."
Penner, 49,
is married to fellow Times sportswriter Lisa Dillman. The couple has no children. A huge soccer fan, he
founded Scribes FC, a rec-league team with many local
sportswriters as players. His weekly game recaps in the
Scribes FC newsletter were big hits with his teammates and
other writers.
In recent
years, Penner has been a columnist dealing with the NFL and
sports media. His Monday day-after NFL notes columns are
must-reads, combining Penner's football insights with a
sharp wit. After a brief hiatus, she will return as a
columnist using the name Christine Daniels.
"All I can
say at this point is that I am now happier, more focused and
more energized when I sit behind a keyboard," Penner wrote.
"The wicked writer's block that used to reach up and torture
me at some of the worst possible times imaginable has
disappeared. … From here, it feels like a big improvement. I
hope with time you will agree. This could be the beginning
of a beautiful relationship."
