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Ring Of Honor

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The other reason I'm late in getting to these was my football game on Sunday. My team, ranked #1, played the #4 team in the league, and they gave us all we could handle. The first play of the game, I caught a 50-yard touchdown pass on a stop-and-go. It was like stealing. On the second play of the game, the other team's speedster caught a 50-yard touchdown pass. The game was on.

It was our worst-played game of the year by a long shot. Yet, we still won, 27-20. We also didn't have two of our best players.

The NFL should consider hiring our scheduling guy to do their schedule. This weekend is the last of the regular season. Every week we have one "primetime Saturday Night Football" game on a roof overlooking the Hudson River. This week, the last of the Saturday Night Football games, features my team, 7-0 and ranked #1, against the 6-1 and #2 team. The winner of the game will be the #1 seed in the playoffs. What would ABC pay to have Colts-Steelers on their last Monday Night Football game this season?

Monday Night Football has certainly gotten what they wanted over the last two weeks. The highest-rated MNF game in five years saw the Indianapolis Colts finally beat the New England Patriots two weeks ago. The Colts looked great - they looked like they had fire in their eyes. But, they've still only beaten two teams with winning records. Their mental challenge was to get over the Patriots - they've done that. Now, their biggest on-field challenge will be this weekend against the Bengals. If they start 10-0, then I will start the talk about them being one of the great teams.

This past Monday, we were all treated to a wonderful collapse by the Philadelphia Eagles. I only say wonderful because I bet against them before the season - and now I look like Nostradamus (of course, I got everything else wrong, but who's counting). Plus, while some of their fans are wonderful, gracious people, a select few are royal pains in the ass. I know a guy, who's a loud Vikings fan, who made Jim despise the Vikings for about five years. Imagine two or three Eagles fans nipping in your ear all year long, and you can imagine how nice it is to see their team lose, despite how much I may like most of the other Iggles fans.

That interception that Donovan McNabb threw was one of the most disastrous single plays I've ever seen, for a few reasons. 1) it lost the Eagles the game and put them three games behind the Dallas Cowboys with seven games to go. 2) It injured McNabb, who got tackled trying to stop the interception return; now, McNabb is out this week against the Giants and, if the Eagles don't win that game they'll be four games behind the GMen with six to go. 3) The stupid, stupid play call - a short pass into the flats - now has everyone in Philadelphia questioning the sanity of the Eagles coaching staff.

Everyone knows you don't throw that pass up by six with two minutes left. It's the most likely play of all plays to be run back for a touchdown because there are no offensive players with an angle to stop the returner. In the first Gay Super Bowl, I ran back two of those same plays for touchdowns because nobody can catch you out there in the short flat.

The Eagles running backs were averaging five yards per carry. Hell, some guy named Reno Mahe even carried the ball once for seven yards. And they decided to throw the ball. Into the flat. After that call, the Eagles got what they deserved.

--Don’t look now, but NFL coaches are growing some cojones. Last week we saw Kansas City’s Dick Vermeil eschew a game-tying field goal to go for the win on the last play. It happened again Sunday in Tampa Bay. 

The Buccaneers had just scored with 58 seconds to pull to within 35-34 of the Washington Redskins. On the ensuing extra point, the Redskins jumped offsides and the ball was then placed on the 1. Amazingly, Bucs coach Jon Gruden sent the offense in to go for 2 and the lead, something I can’t recall a coach doing.

The ball was handed to Mike Alstott and on a second effort he barely crossed the goal line and the Bucs had a 36-35 lead, which held up when Washington turned the ball over on downs on their final possession. 

Even Alstott was surprised by Gruden's call.

"People were hollering for me. I ran on the field, put on my helmet, heard the call and thought: `Uh, oh, here we go," Alstott said. "You have to put the trust in your team and the players and say: `The heck with it.' You have to gamble once in a while."

In many ways, the call wasn't all that risky considering that neither team could stop the other and Gruden liked his chances better from a yard out rather than play for overtime. Let's hope a trend has been started.

The Redskins-Buccaneers game featured two teams who each averaged less than 20 points per game. So, of course, the predicted defensive struggle turned into a shootout, with a combined five touchdown passes. 

--Bucs QB Chris Simms had three TDs passes, including a beautiful 30-yarder with 58 seconds remaining. There were many shots of Simms without his helmet, and he is really good looking, even hotter than his dad, Phil, was in his prime. I know other Outsports readers favor Alstott, so I’ve run both pics so you can decide. Simms is the picture on the left.

--Lamest effort of the week: New York Giants punter Jeff Feagles, who made no attempt to tackle Melwelde Moore of the Minnesota Vikings on what became a 71-yard punt return for a touchdown. As Moore came running toward Feagles at midfield, the Giants punter stepped to the left without making any effort to slow him down.  Feagles will get seriously ripped by his teammates when they watch the film. 

--Coolest effort of the week: Nathan Vasher of the Chicago Bears, who returned a missed field goal by the San Francisco 49ers a league-record 108 yards for a touchdown. It was the longest play in league history, as Vasher fielded the missed kick on the last play of the first half and weaved his way down field getting some great blocks.

"I've never really seen it work, but we always feel like we can get big plays like that," Vasher said. "I'm still speechless. … I was feeling like I was running the 400 meters out there. I just fell into the end zone. The NFL has been around a long time. For my name to be at the top of that is truly an honor." 

--The winds were gusting as high as 47 mph in Chicago, which made kicking and passing an adventure. One attempted Bears field goal was basically blown sideways by a strong gust. Quarterbacks Kyle Orton and Cody Pickett, not superstars to begin with, combined for 95 total yards passing. The 49ers’ Pickett was a miserable 1 for 13 passing. 

--Weirdest game was Minnesota’s 24-21 win over the Giants. The Vikings had only 137 total yards total yards, but became the first team in NFL history to get touchdown returns on a punt, a kickoff and an interception. "They went for the cycle," Giants center Shaun O'Hara said.

The loss put a stop to all those people claiming the Giants were an elite team, hoping for a Peyton Manning vs. Eli Manning Super Bowl. New York is  improved from a year ago, but is in a big fight to even make the playoffs given their tough division. 

--The New England Patriots’ 23-16 win over the Miami Dolphins showed why one team is the defending champ and the other is rebuilding. Miami was dominant enough in the first half to have been able to have a 13-0 lead, but only led 7-3. 

The Patriots, meanwhile, bumbled along on offense but got hot in the fourth quarter. The Dolphins had four chances to tie the game from the New England 10 inside the final two minutes but a last-gasp pass from Gus Frerotte was a bit low for Chris Chambers to grab in the end zone. "I got my fingertips on it," said Chambers, who had three other drops. "I had a tough time picking up those low balls today." 

--Brett Favre was all fired up in the Green Bay Packers 33-25 upset win at Atlanta. On one play, Favre made a nifty run for about five yards and someone on the sidelines must have said something because Favre flexed his right bicep.

Favre has been pumping iron and it showed, but a friend watching the game with me said Brett still has nothing on buff ref Ed “Guns” Hochuli. Favre agreed, saying, "I have to show something else. I have no biceps."

--It was nice to see Green Bay (2-7) win after so many tough losses this season. The Packers are playing with second- and third-stringers at key skill positions yet have played hard in all their games.  

--One more reason most pro athletes aren't interesting people: On Fox's pregame show, Redskins running back Clinton Portis was asked by Terry Bradshaw what three people in history he would have dinner. "Oprah, Halle Berry and Alicia Keys," Portis said. These are the three he picked of all the people who have ever lived?

As for me, one definite would be Alexander the Great. He conquered most of the known world by the time he died at 33, and liked men.

--The Seattle Seahawks beat the St. Louis Rams, 31-16, for the their second win over their division rival this season. It was the first time the Seahawks (7-2) have ever swept the Rams (4-5) and made it all but certain that Seattle will win the division. 

--One more reason the Oakland Raiders are the dumbest team in football. Running back Lamont Jordan has really been coming on and the Raiders are 3-0 when he gets at least 20 carries. So how do they start Sunday's game against Denver? Eight passes and no points. For the game, Jordan got only 14 carries while Kerry Collins threw 50 times. Collins was intercepted three times, including a game-clinching 80-yard return for a score by the Broncos Darrent Williams.

--My Top 5

1. Indianapolis (9-0): The Colts sleepwalked through their game against Houston, but still won easily. 

2. Pittsburgh (7-2): The best defense in football.

3. Denver (7-2): I’m still not convinced, but they keep on winning. 

4. Cincinnati (7-2): Next up is 9-0 Indy. Two years ago, the 9-0 Kansas City Chiefs went into Cincy and lost. 

5. Carolina (7-2): Looking like the team that went to the Super Bowl two years ago.