I am dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
Whether it's fantasy football, a suicide pool or simply
betting the line, I still haven't learned that, for me, my
gut instinct is the way to go. Instead, I often overthink
things, making changes to my picks in the waning minutes
before kickoff.
This week, I had to choose
between starting the Rams' Steven Jackson or the
Panthers' Stephen Davis on my fantasy team. I had
Jackson pegged all week. No brainer. Forty-five minutes
before gametime, I called Jim to have him switch to Davis.
Jackson hasn't played yet, but chances are slim he won't
surpass Davis' "monster" 13-rushes-for-27-yards performance.
Luckily, I played my brother this week, who leads me by 15
points; I still have Marc Bulger, Edgerrin James
and Marvin Harrison. Why do I still have a bad
feeling about this?
My gut tells me that the Rams
are going to give the Colts fits tonight, and that
St. Louis may actually pull the upset. They're getting 13.5
points; I'm sticking with my gut on this one.
Randy Moss, Randy Moss, What
has happened, Randy Moss?
Other than last year when he
tried to play with a bad hamstring and left the game (and
should have never stepped foot on the field), when was the
last time Randy Moss had no catches in a game? It's
never happened. Yes, he left the game against San Diego
early in the third quarter with an injury; but, it was the
firs time Moss has ever entered a game healthy and failed to
catch the ball even one time. A sign of things to come?
Doubtful. But, it's still intriguing.
The party's over
I just hate how injuries rear
their ugly head in the NFL. So many teams are dealing with
so many injuries and those injuries are affecting games,
whether it's the Lions losing their backup QB option (Jeff
Garcia, whom they could really use right now), the
Steelers suffering a grueling overtime defeat without
their two best offensive players, or how the Patriots
are done with their slew of injuries.
Yep, they're done. It's over. I
thought it was over before the season started (I picked them
to finish behind the Bills), but they are officially
cooked.
Bill Belichick is obviously a smart guy. He also
thinks out of the box, which is so very different for an NFL
coach and which has paid huge dividends. But, looking at
what former offensive coordinator Charlie Weis has
done at Notre Dame (coming within three seconds of
ending USC's winning streak), don't you have to think
that the loss of Weis last winter was the biggest loss of
them all?
The
party's just begun
Some injuries, on the other
hand, offer opportunity. I only watched about half of the
Jets-Bills game on Sunday. But, to me, the Jets' offense is
better with Vinny Testaverde in there. Yes, he threw
two picks and that definitely sucks. But, the team just
seems to have more fire and looks like it's playing better
than with Chad Pennington. Same thing in Baltimore;
Anthony Wright is actually moving the ball. Same
thing in Chicago with Kyle Orton.
How
teams will rank on January 3.
1) Indianapolis. The
Colts are the most dominant team in the league, clicking on
all cylinders; and, they're just a bunch of nice guys. No
one can stop them. (jinx jinx jinx)
2) Cincinnati. They're
5-1 and six of their last 10 games are at home. That's gotta
be nice.
3) Kansas City. They're
struggling at home, which is not a good sign. But, I just
think they're going to find their way.
4)
Jacksonville. They have a very favorable schedule the
rest of the season.
5)
New York Giants. That was a tough loss on Sunday. But, I
think Tom Coughlin will have them clicking in the second
half of the season.
6)
Atlanta. They got lucky on Sunday; but, sometimes, luck
wins you championships.
7) Dallas. To me, this is
a "project" team that could pay huge dividends next year.
But, Parcells has them winning now.
8) Buffalo. I think this
team has found its way. They still have a tough schedule
ahead; but, with that defense and Willis McGahee, they're
going to find a new gear.
And finally, my Peter King
homage (dedicated to Philly Fan)
Coming back from the Gay Super
Bowl, I was hella banged up. My back is hurting, my
boyfriend has started counting my bruises and he hasn't
finished yet, and something is wrong with my knee and
Achilles tendon. Of course, that didn't stop me from playing
in
my league game this past weekend. How could I not? It
was a matchup of the last two unbeatens in the league, both
at 2-0 (yes, the league has lots of parity).
I don't
quite understand it myself, but my team is now, at 3-0, the
only undefeated team in the league, with a point
differential of +80. We beat that other undefeated team,
45-12; those were the first two touchdowns we had allowed
all season. All of the other teams are practicing, going
over plays during the week. My team just shows up every
weekend and plays its ass off. I imagine it'll catch up to
us at some point; for now, though, things couldn't be going
better.
--Phil
Simms had a borderline “homoerotic comment of the week,”
but we went to replay and since it involved the CBS
announcer talking about genitalia we will count it and add
it to the list. (see
complete list here).
During
halftime of the Denver Broncos-New England Patriots game,
Simms and partner Jim Nantz were discussing the play where
Pats lineman Logan Mankins was tossed from the game after
hitting Ebenezer Ekuban. They showed a closeup of Mankins
hauling off and whacking Ekuban in his family jewels.
Nantz: “I don’t think there’s a need to demonstrate that
move at all, thanks.
Simms
(turning toward Nantz and raising his eyebrows): ”No, not on
me.”
Just
confirms that Simms isn’t into rough trade.
--I also
received this from a reader:
Just
wanted to let you know I loved your column on Phil Simms
homoeroticism, and I think that I have one that is worth
mentioning. I can't give a specific date reference, but I
believe it was sometime in 2000. In reference to Randall
Cunningham's arm, Simms noted, "It's long and loose, and he
can still really stick it in there."
--Start
the jokes. The Minnesota Vikings scored more on their
bye-week sex cruise than they did in losing Sunday to the
Chicago Bears, 28-3. Coach Mike Tice, captain of this
sinking ship, said all the coverage of his team’s escapades
had an impact. "If I was to say it didn't at all, I kind of
would be lying to you,'' he said. "And I don't think any of
the local (media) would tell you that I've lied.''
How big
was the impact?
"I don't
know,'' Tice said. "I'm not a psychologist. I can't tell you
how much.''
At 1-4,
the Vikings are only one game out of the division lead, but
they way they are playing, it might as well be 111.
Quarterback Daunte Culpepper looks like a lost rookie
without Randy Moss and center Matt Birk, the team is
undisciplined (14 penalties) and Tice is a lousy game-day
coach. But at least they know how to party.
--Defensive
performance of the day was turned in by Kansas City
Chiefs defensive lineman Jared Allen. He had six tackles,
three sacks, two forced fumbles and two fumbles recovered.
That’s a season for some guys.
--Offensive
performance of the day from San Diego Chargers running
back LaDainian Tomlinson, who ran for a touchdown, caught a
TD pass and threw a TD pass in a 27-14 at Oakland. LT is the
best player in football.
--In
the Chiefs’ 28-21 win over Washington, KC running back
Priest Holmes had an amazing 60-yard catch and run, where he
broke about four tackles and changed direction three times.
It takes amazing athleticism to do that.
--Goat
of the day? Easy -- Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback
Tommy Maddox. He threw three interceptions against the
Jacksonville Jaguars, including one in overtime that was
returned for the game-winning touchdown. Earlier in
overtime, on third down, Maddox fumbled the snap and lost
the ball as the Steelers were in field goal range.
Asked if
Maddox had a bad day, Pittsburgh Coach Bill Cowher said, "I
think that's an obvious statement.'' Maddox, though, blamed
a 25-mph wind, but I can’t ever recall seeing the wind cause
a QB to fumble the snap. The Steelers better hope Ben
Roethlisberger is ready to go next week.
--Goat
of the Day II: New Orleans Saints lineman Tony Bryant,
who was flagged for
grabbed an Atlanta Falcons player to allow a teammate
to try to block a kick. Bryant's move had nothing to do with
causing Todd Peterson to miss the last-second kick with the
teams tied at 31. But the call gave the kicker another
chance from five yards closer and he nailed it.
On second thought, maybe the
goat should be the official who made such a ticky-tack call.
"I'm telling you it was a
flat-out (expletive) call,'' Saints coach Jim Haslett said.
He said the Falcons had run the same play before a week ago
without penalty.
"They didn't call it last
week. We were pulling the guy to the outside and you're
allowed to pull as long as you're moving forward,'' he said.
"The guy fell on top of me,''
Bryant said. "If anything, he should have been called for
holding. I was trying to make a play.''
Referee Bill Carollo stood
behind the call and the Saints' miserable season continues.
--Goat of the Day III:
New York Giants Coach Tom Coughlin for replacing Tiki Barber
at running back at the 2 with rookie Brandon Jacobs, who
hadn't carried the ball all game. This came with less than
two minutes to go at Dallas, and down 13-6. Jacobs promptly
fumbled and the Cowboys recovered. The Giants did get the
ball back and tie the game to send it into overtime, but
Coughlin got too cute by inserting Jacobs. The whole stadium
knew he was getting the ball since he's known as a
short-yardage battering ram. At least get him some reps
before you put the game in his hands in a crucial situation.
--Tennessee
rookie cornerback “Pacman” Jones spent all offseason
getting in trouble and signing with the team late. He spent
Sunday getting abused by Cincinnati Bengals receiver Chad
“Riverdance” Johnson. Jones was flagged for one interference
call on Johnson and would have had another one expect that
Johnson caught the ball for a touchdown in Cincy’s 31-23
against the Titans.
--Johnson, who did the Riverdance when he scored against
Chicago, declined to dance against the Titans since the refs
took a long time before deciding he had scored. ''The heat
of the moment was gone,'' Johnson said. ''But it would've
been a square dance anyway. The heel-toe thing. I was going
to go around the goal post, all that good stuff.''
Johnson
is an easy guy to like, since his celebrations are so
good-natured and not mocking. He has a great smile and seems
to have fun playing the game.
--Here
is why the Detroit Lions are 2-3. They led the Carolina
Panthers at home, 17-14, when tight end Marcus Pollard
caught an 86-yard pass in the fourth quarter from Joey
Harrington that gave the Lions a first-and-goal at the 5.
A good
team gets the touchdown and builds an insurmountable lead.
The Lions, though, ran three plays, lost two yards and had
to settle for a field goal and a 20-14 lead with 5:08 left.
Predictably, the Panthers wound up putting together a late
drive (with a backup QB, no less) and winning with 32
seconds, 21-20.
--Harrington
continues to struggle, throwing an interception and
fumbling twice. And he heard it from the fans. ''To boo Joey
here, that's tough on him and tough on all of us,'' Pollard
said. ''At the same time, I can sympathize with the fans,
too.'' Gee, Marcus, so much for standing up for your
teammate.
--On a
streak: I am in a head-to-head pool against a good
friend where we pick three-four games against the spread
each week. In the last three weeks I've gone 9-2
(unconscious) and am 15-8 for the season (15-5 since Week
1). The "shame" is that our bet is only for a $50 Amazon
gift certificate at the end of year. I have a feeling that I
wouldn't do as well if I had real money riding on the games.
--Buffalo
has won two in a row since replacing JP Losman at
quarterback with Kelly Holcomb. The Bills finally have a
passing game and ay 3-3 they are tied with the Patriots for
the division lead.
--The
Patriots went on a streak of 33 wins in 35 games, but
have lost three of their last five. All the injuries have
caught up with them and 9-7 would be a great achievement.
--Despite
winning their last five, I'm still not sold on Denver.
We've seen the Broncos make these early- to mid-season runs
before in the past five years. Let them play like this in
December and I'll be impressed.
--Seattle
is the quietest 4-2 team in the league. Beating Houston,
Arizona and St. Louis (a combined 3-12) is no great feat,
though the win over 4-2 Atlanta was a nice one. This is
another team that has to show something after Thanksgiving.
My Top 5
1.
Indianapolis (6-0): They fell behind 17-0 to St. Louis
on Monday night, yet wound up winning in a walk. That's the
sign of a quality team.
2.
Denver (5-1): Playing pretty good defense and Jake
Plummer isn't making dumb mistakes.
3.
Cincinnati (5-1): In the old days (like last year),
falling behind 10-0 on the road would have meant curtains.
Not this year.
4.
Pittsburgh (3-2): Still a great defense and Big Ben will
help right the offensive ship.
5.
San Diego (3-3): I still have no idea how this team lost
three games, all on the final play.
