Even if you
don’t follow the National Football League, you must be living
under a rock if you haven’t noticed New England Patriots
quarterback Tom Brady and his recent cavalcade of homoerotic
publicity.
The oversight
is somewhat understandable. For some gay men, gridiron
stud-buckets of the NFL may not register high on the queer
agenda, but you’ve no doubt sensed his presence at the newsstand
during your weekly raid of skin rags at the local Barnes &
Noble. This guy has been everywhere lately and not just
among the usual suspects, like Sports Illustrated or
Men’s Journal. As of late, Brady has been making waves and
breaking hearts between the pages of some of the most popular
magazines in circulation with a significant gay readership.
In June, Brady
was featured on the cover of
Details, the sexually evasive monthly that playfully
casts articles like “How To Please Your Wife” and “Why Bud Is
Better Than Coors” alongside boner-inducing pictorials of
Hollywood’s latest It Boys. The Massachusetts beefcake tore up
the pages in an understated
blue-and-white rugby polo for photographer Doug Inglish.
With his well-trained guns resting ever so casually on his
knees, he looked like a prep boy’s wet dream.
Two months
later, in August, Brady was lauded by
Esquire in their fourth-annual Best Dressed Men In The
World list, singled out for his “All-American Kennedy-clan
suits” and devastatingly rugged good looks. In September,
GQ got in on the action and shot its Brady wad. In
celebration of the publication’s 50th anniversary,
the Pats QB was short-listed as one of the 50 most stylish men
of the last 50 years, an honor that earned him another cover
alongside such notably natty men as Paul Newman and John F.
Kennedy.
Later that same
month, he snagged yet another cover, this time for
VMan, a fashion-focused lifestyle magazine for the
modern day metrosexual (Those In Denial and Who Pretend We Don’t
Notice). The salacious spread featured Brady parading around in
little more than a soggy Hanes undershirt and a slick set of
pigskin-conditioned pecs. The combination of his rakish grin and
wet T-shirt made it seem as though he had just left the set of
Falcon’s latest flick “Inside My Huddle” without so much as a
shower.
In addition,
countrified duds-dealer Stetson just outfitted the three-time
Super Bowl champion in full Brokeback regalia to launch
their men’s cologne,
Stetson Man, for the upcoming holiday season. The print
ads have been making the rounds on the blogosphere and are
blitzing the pages of virtually every men’s circular. As you can
see, it’s no exaggeration to say that right now Brady’s more
sought after than WMDs in 2002.
But why all the
attention? Sure, the guy is arguably the best looking player in
the NFL, but he’s not the only hot jock on the field.
Take celebrated Indianapolis Colts quarterback Peyton Manning,
for instance. Although he doesn’t have Brady’s smoldering good
looks and raw sexual appeal, he’d have no problem making friends
at the Folsom Street Fair, if you know what I mean. New Orleans
Saints running back Reggie Bush could give Brady a run for his
money, too. Have you seen him out of his BDUs? That guy’s so cut
he could make a stained glass window look like a
kindergartener’s finger painting! And what about Dallas Cowboys
quarterback Tony Romo? With that sexy swagger and mean pair of
dimples, he gets the boys more worked up than a lifetime
membership to Sean Cody.
Why
Brady?
But here’s the
thing: No matter how good-looking those guys are, they can’t
touch Brady’s massive appeal. Why? Because -- dimples, abs and
touchdowns aside -- those boys only reach one demographic, and
that’s the straight one. Brady, on the other hand, successfully
bridges the gap between football’s sexually diverse fans,
attracting both straights and gays, without getting
caught in the crossfire of sexual politics.
It’s not hard
to see why the gay community loves Tom Brady. First, he’s effing
hot. The man makes us drool and not just from our mouths.
Second, he isn’t afraid to subvert the image of the masculine
athlete. Do you think Junior Seau would go shirtless for a
homoerotic rag, like Brady did? Probably not. Would LeBron
James, also like Brady, entertain offers to be the next
underwear model for Calvin Klein? No way. The truth is most pro
athletes go to great lengths to distance themselves from
homoeroticism, whereas Brady, on the other hand, embraces it.
He’s not afraid to invite a little harmless male flirtation, and
we love the hell out of him for it.
Straight men,
however, admire him for a very different reason. For one, Brady
is leading the best team in the NFL. The undefeated Patriots
look to be well on their way to another Super Bowl win, and that
is mainly the result of their QB’s record-setting efforts. For
another, Brady’s quite a lothario. His extracurricular
activities off the field are legendary, to put it lightly.
Currently he’s dating Brazilian supermodel Gisele Bündchen, the
one woman who unequivocally drives straight men up the
proverbial wall and -- let’s be honest -- even some of us gays
would switch teams for. Equally as impressive, before Bündchen
there was “Sex and the City” fox Bridget Monahan, whom Brady
dated for two years before ditching her for the Victoria’s
Secret model. Oh, and Monahan was pregnant when they split,
which, sadly, only bolsters his cred among the lady-loving
crowd. In short, to straight men, he’s a goddamn stud.
And there it
is. In his pocket he’s got the straights who want to be him
and the gays who want to be with him.
This kind of
overwhelming popularity speaks to a growing trend in
professional sports. With superstars like David Beckham and Ben
Cohen openly expressing their admiration for their gay fan
bases, the threat of homosexuality in athletics is waning.
These guys understand something most pro athletes have yet to
learn: We, as gay men, are a demographic that matters. There’s
no question it will be a long time before the stigma is
completely absolved, but if Brady’s recent foray into homophilia
is any indication of the future it’ll be well worth the wait.
