The haters

I’ve been finding it hard the last couple of weeks to string together notes about the NFL because there’s only been one story every week at the top of my mind that’s worth writing about, and it’s the same story week after week this season: The Patriots’ road to history. So instead of trying to come up with blather about this team’s win streak or that team’s collapse, I’m just going to write about the greatest story in the NFL in decades every week, and I’ll take on various aspects every week so everything gets covered by February.

Crazy 8s: In what was one of the weirdest games this season, Tennessee beat Houston, 38-36, as Titans kicker Rob Bironas kicked a record eight field goals, including a 29-yard game winner at the final gun. 

The kick wiped out an amazing comeback by the Texans, who rallied from 32-7 down to score 29 points in the fourth quarter. Houston took a 36-35 lead on a 53-yard touchdown pass from backup Sage Rosenfels to Andre Davis. Then backup Titans quarterback Kerry Collins drove the Titans into position for Bironas’ winning kick. Hard to believe that a game featuring Rosenfels and Collins at QB would be so entertaining.

This week it’s the haters and the crap they try to pass off as legitimate opinion: The nonsense that gets thrown around about the greatest team ever by people who hate them, will always hate them, and will do everything they can to discredit them.

The haters were out this week with questions (that should have insulted the intelligence of any NFL fan) for Bill Belichick about his decision to put Tom Brady back in the game after his backup threw a pick that was returned for a TD. The ridiculous assertion was that the Patriots were running up the score on the Miami Dolphins (since when is it the offense’s job to keep itself out of the end zone, anyway?). At virtually the same time, the Houston Texans were erasing a 25-point fourth-quarter deficit against the Tennessee Titans; and I remember the Patriots’ run a couple years ago when they lost homefield advantage because they blew a big lead in the fourth quarter to . . . the Miami Dolphins. But it just doesn’t matter to the haters; to them, everything the Patriots do this season is wrong. Poor bastards.

Then there’s the “cheater” nonsense that these pitiful souls are clinging too. Yeah, it was disappointing to hear that the Patriots were doing something they shouldn’t have been doing. But enough already; that has absolutely nothing to do with their historic run now. You have the New York Post, cheerleader for two loser New York teams, putting an asterisk next to the Patriots in their “expert picks” every week; the asterisk refers to a “caught cheating” note below the picks. You have to feel sorry for them; their Jets already got embarrassed by the Pats, will again later this season, and then the Patriots will close out their 16-0 regular-season run by beating their Giants in Week 17.

(By the way, another example that even the Christian Colts cheat, note the subtle movement of Ryan Diem's hand on a crucial 3rd and 5 that gave the Colts a first down because the Jags, justifiably, engaged him after he did it. It was clearly intended to get away with breaking the rules . . . cheating.)

Jim’s foolishness this week about Randy Moss is just spectacular, and it’s my favorite yet. Because he’s having such a great season (he’s on pace to tie or set the NFL single-season record for TD catches), it’s proof that Moss doesn’t deserve to be in the Hall of Fame. You just can’t make this stuff up . . . unless you’re a hater.

I got a kick out of listening to the “experts” on ESPN praise Peyton Manning as possibly the greatest quarterback of all time before his ho-hum Monday Night performance. Tom Brady was barely mentioned alongside the vaunted Manning, despite the fact that Brady better fits the criteria the “experts” were throwing out for greatest QB of all time: Multiple championships and all-time record holder (Brady will soon supplant Manning atop the single-season passing TD record). And, unlike Manning, he’s done it without the best offensive line in football and a Hall Of Fame wide receiver until this season (i.e., yep, Randy Moss).

Please, when you hear more hater nonsense, email it to me; it’s always good for a laugh.

By the way, I’m ready to update my rankings by finally adding a No. 2 team.

My NFL rankings:

1) New England Patriots. The greatest team in the history of the NFL, so an easy No. 1 here.

No other team is deserving of being mentioned in the top 5 yet.

Why I can’t stand Moss: The New England Patriots continued to roll, crushing Miami, 49-28 (it was 42-7 at half) as Tom Brady threw six TD passes, giving him 27 this season. Randy Moss had two touchdown catches, both on jump balls, showing why he is wonderfully talented, and also why he is my least-favorite player in the league. 

Moss has been unstoppable since joining the Pats this season, which proves to me that he was dogging it the last few years in Oakland, when he was called washed up. It shows that Moss is the ultimate non-team player, the man who once boasted “I play when I want to play.” 

So, on a bad Oakland team, Moss was a dog, giving up on routes, faking injuries, showing up his quarterback and being an awful teammate, doing nothing to help his team try and get a win. If he had put out, perhaps the Raiders could have won a few more games, but he couldn’t be bothered. He gets traded to a contender and all of a sudden the injuries are gone, his speed is back and he catches everything in sight since he has decided to play. In short, he’s a classic front-runner. My guess is that he would revert to Raider Randy should Brady ever get hurt and he was catching passes from Matt Cassell instead. 

I applaud Moss’ ability but not his sense of athletic integrity and if I had a vote he’d never make the Hall of Fame; that honor is not reserved for part-time players. 

Drive to stay alive: I still can't believe the Chicago Bears drove 97 yards in the final two minutes with no timeouts left to beat Philadelphia, 19-16. Brian Griese hit Musin Muhammad with a 15-yard TD pass with nine seconds left to pull out the improbable win that left the fans in Philly in shock. The loss dropped Philadelphia to 2-4 and last in the NFC East.

The Eagles' offense has been anemic all season save for Week 3, when they put up 56 against Detroit. In their other five games, the Eagles have scored a combined 60 points and no more than 16 in any game. It is looking more and more like the end of the line fort QB Donovan McNabb; remember that last season the Eagles won their last five to win the division behind backup QB Jeff Garcia.

The sentiments in Philadelphia were summed up by Outsports poster mdterp01: "F*ck you Philadelphia and Andy Reid. Always playing not to lose instead of playing to win. Chicago had decent field position at times in the game because they were so scared to kick the ball in Hester's direction. FINALLY, FINALLY we get a punt at the 3 yard line with just under 2 minutes left in the game, and no timeouts for the Bears. The Bears, who seemed about as scared of the redzone as the Eagles all day, march down the field and score a touchdown. WHAT THE F*CK?!!!! The Eagles are really searching at this point. Talk about the highs and lows. I was so happy figuring ok...we'll be at .500 and lets try and go from there. But, oh no. Now, we are 2-4 with every other team in the NFC East being legit. This is ridiculous, and Philly is FAMOUS for allowing teams to do this when they have a slight lead with under 2 minutes to go. That was pathetic and if you're going to go soft like that at the end of games then you deserve to f**king lose!!!"

Best division: Tiki Barber made a stupid comment on NBC, when he pronounced the NFC East the league's best division. Hardly. That honor goes to the AFC South, where Indy, Jacksonville, Tennessee and Houston are a combined 11-2 outside the division. The Texans are 3-4, but three of their losses were in the division.

On a roll: At 0-2, the New York Giants looked like they were playing for a high draft pick next season. But five straight wins (only one over a team with a winning record) and the Giants are playing for an NFC playoff spot. The Giants drilled San Francisco, 33-15, and next play winless Miami in London. Not sure Miami-Giants is the game the NFL wanted to showcase in its first game in England.

Still alive: The AFC North has suddenly gotten interesting with Pittsburgh and Baltimore both losing and Cincinnati winning. The Bengals are only two games out and have a biggie coming up next week against the Steelers. The sleeper, meanwhile, is 3-3 Cleveland, which has been the most explosive team the last five games this side of the Patriots and Colts.

Gutless: Atlanta coach Bobby Petrino should be ashamed for capitulating late in the Falcons’ 22-16 loss to New Orleans. The Falcons had fourth-and-13 at their own 47 with two minutes left. Petrino punted and with three timeouts hoped the Falcons would hold and get the ball back. Instead, the Saints were able to pick up a first down and run the clock out.

Admittedly, 13 yards is long way to a first down, but the Petrino needed to go for it. He does not have the ’85 Bears defense and had to let his offense take a shot. My guess is that Falcon players are also second-guessing their rookie coach.