Despite a driving rainstorm and an odd atmosphere that kept athletes at a distance from the fans cheering their arrival, there was still one comfort about the opening of the Paris Olympics.
The Opening Ceremony was still really gay. It was just hard to find it in all the weirdness.
As Outsports’ Jim Buzinski detailed, the decision to hold the Ceremony in boats traversing the River Seine made for some stunning TV shots but also dulled the atmosphere that is so vital to making the Opening Ceremony one of the emotional touchstones of the Games.
Credit: Andrew P. Scott-USA TODAY Sports
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On top of that, the emotional impact of so many segments of the Ceremony was like watching French New Wave Cinema: I’m sure it meant something but I don’t have the energy to figure out what it was.
The through-line of the Opening Ceremony began with a shot of a French torch bearer running into an empty stadium. Naturally, even France’s most celebratory day had to start with a tribute to existential despair.
For a moment, it felt like this would be the first Opening Ceremony based on a novel by Jean-Paul Sartre.
But then the torch was passed to French soccer hero Zinedine Zidane and eventually taken by a masked figure who would carry it throughout the rest of the Ceremony, leading to the inevitable question: Is Squid Games now an Olympic event?
Things somehow got more bizarre from there. In the midst of all that, here were some of the LGBTQ highlights…
Tom Daley Gets Wet and Bawdy
Tom Daley’s appearance as one of the flag bearers for Great Britain made him one of the most visible and prominent LGBTQ athletes in the Ceremony.
As if to add a bit of familiarity to the proceedings, the rain gave Daley the appearance of just stepping out of the pool. He further got into the over-the-top spirit of the day by taking the Kate Winslet role while recreating the iconic shot from “Titanic” with fellow flagbearer Helen Glover.
Once that hit social media, the line to draw Daley like one of your French girls stretched all the way to Lyon.
Daley posted the pic to his Instagram account and for about a half hour, his original caption omitted the “L” in “FLAGBEARER.”
It made us double take and exclaim, “Zut alors!” Before he edited it, this was one of the rare instances where Daley’s language was as dirty as the river he was sailing on.
When in France…
Speaking of FLagbearers
Thanks to the rain storm, the general fashion statement for most of countries appeared to be “We paid 2 Euros for a poncho.”
After a few minutes of this, it became a real concern that the Opening Ceremony would be losing one of its most vital traditions: jacked shirtless flagbearers.
All I can say is: Thank God for the Marshall Islands weightlifter William Reed!
And Tuvalu!
Twitter: @Luis_Endera
That’s sprinter Karalo Hepoiteloto Maibuca, the man solely responsible for the most popular Google search of July 26 being “Where is Tuvalu?”
J’veux Ton Amour, Et Je Veux Ta Revanche
After the masked figure took the torch, the first half hour of the Opening Ceremony became really unfocused and ponderous.
Fifteen minutes into the NBC telecast, host Mike Tirico was already discussing the levels of E. coli in the Seine, which was broadcaster-speak for “I can’t think of anything to say about Antigua.”
We were desperately waiting for someone…anyone…who knew how to grab our attention and whose mere presence commanded us to sit up and take notice.
At that moment, the telecast cut to a figure hidden by dancers holding giant pink plumes arrayed in the shape of a heart. The dancers kept the plumes still for about 30 seconds, building up suspense until they finally parted ways to reveal…
Someone had sent up the Gaga signal.
Commentator Kelly Clarkson gasped and exclaimed “Oh wow!” You might not have heard it in the moment due to every gay man in France simultaneously breaking the sound barrier.
Gaga crushed a breezy French number called “Mon Truc en Plumes” and cavorted with her dancers in a choreographed plume routine that looked like director Thomas Jolly requested “Tribbles, but make them sexy.”
In the middle of all the bizarreness, it was a moment of genuine levity and fun.
Team LGBTQ in the Olympics opening ceremony spotlight
Part of what made the boat ride aspect of the Ceremony so frustrating was that the telecast couldn’t focus on any of the athletes for more than a fleeting glimpse. Even when you were looking for someone specific, it felt like the best you could hope for was to think, “Hey, wasn’t that…?” as the camera cut away to Trinidad and Tobago.
That said, a few important LGBTQ athletes caught our attention.
Nikki Hiltz was quite visible celebrating with other Team USA athletes in a couple of shots as they waited for their boat to enter the Parade of Nations.
Boxer Cindy Ngamba entered her name in the history books as the first LGBTQ flagbearer for the Olympic Refugee Team.
Taekowndo martial artist Jack Woolley was extremely visible as part of Team Ireland.
And Sha’Carri Richardson showed off smashing red, white, and blue nails to the NBC cameras.
Uhhhh…quoi?
In between the boats, the torch relay continued and things kept getting curiouser and curiouser. Honestly, the best part of the all of the gay parts during the rest of the Ceremony was that they provided moments of coherence.
There was a tribute to French fashion with a runway including drag performers and dancers carrying a Louis Vuitton case to the banks of the Seine. Of course, if it was an authentic tribute to Paris, they’d have gone on strike halfway down the stairs.
Then at one point, Squid Games sped down a zip line and carried the torch toward Notre Dame Cathedral. Gosh, what could go wrong?
From there, the figure rappelled down into a full-on production of “Les Miserables” as the chorus swelled during the climax of “Do You Hear the People Sing?” If they’d have left it at that, it would have been a clever nod to both the French Revolution and one of musical theater’s most stirring productions.
But just as it felt like showtune gays were about to have their moment, the sequence cut to a decapitated Marie Antoinette shouting something while a death metal band launched into an earsplitting bit of sonic rage as another diva sang opera in a ship going past a building that shot out red streamers making it look like the structure was spurting blood.
If that wasn’t a metaphor for most of our gay childhoods, I don’t know what is.
The opening ceremony cost hundreds of millions and it appears they budgeted approximately 2 Euros for segues.
Celine Dion, Amelie Mauresmo and a balloon stick the landing
Fortunately, after all of that, the ceremony still managed to pull off a spellbinding finale.
Paris took full advantage of its status as one of the world’s most stunning vistas and lit up the Eiffel Tower in a way that brought out every centimeter of the sublime in its design.
Then when the torch reached the banks of the Seine, Carl Lewis, Rafa Nadal, and Serena Williams handed it off to Tennis Hall of Famer Amelie Mauresmo, one of the greatest and most decorated LGBTQ athletes of all time.
Mauresmo ran the torch past the Louvre. It was fitting — an athletic masterpiece taking it past thousands of other works of art.
Then the final two big reveals: the Olympic cauldron was part of a hot air balloon that ascended over Paris after it was lit, filling the assembled crowd with awe.
And speaking of awestruck…
Celine Dion.
Atop the Eiffel Tower.
After being diagnosed with a health condition known as Stiff Person Syndrome in 2022 that brought on spasms that made performing extraordinarily difficult, Dion showed that she can still command the biggest stage in the world and uplifted the entire City of Light with her voice.
Her performance brought Clarkson to tears on the air — as well as millions of us watching around the globe.
It took a while to get there but the Paris opening ceremony had its moment that will send chills down our spines for all time. Gay culture saved the day once again.
